Raising daughters

[EweSheep]

Quote:
My only DD is like your younger one.........I already have grey hairs LOL! We had family counseling for her as well and it drove the counselors up the wall because their "so called talks" was not working LOL! I would be firm and consistence but she would test and test some more with hubby until she pushed the wrong buttons. What is ODD? Does my DD have any empathy? Not really, she would laugh when someone gets hurt but gets upset when her Gretl (her SSH Bantam hen) is considered.

 

[chicken_china_mom]

Quote:
My only DD is like your younger one.........I already have grey hairs LOL! We had family counseling for her as well and it drove the counselors up the wall because their "so called talks" was not working LOL! I would be firm and consistence but she would test and test some more with hubby until she pushed the wrong buttons. What is ODD? Does my DD have any empathy? Not really, she would laugh when someone gets hurt but gets upset when her Gretl (her SSH Bantam hen) is considered.

ODD is Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Dumb initials, but real illness. See, I suffer from depression (come to find out quite a few people in my family do), and depression can manifest itself in many ways. I have phobias that seem to get worse the older I get, and my older DD has some phobias (like the fact that is scared of creeks, rivers and ponds because snapping turtles live in them. She is terrified of snapping turtles), and severe ADD. She has started 3 kitchen fires because she forgets she is cooking and walks away, so we watch her VERY closely when she cooks now. The younger DD has ODD and OCD. Both stem from low seratonin levels, but I won't put them on medicines. That commercial about the kids that did all those horrible school shootings and the drugs they were on at the time they committed those crimes, and the heartbreaking commercials about the young children that committed suicide after getting onto anti-depressants scared the heck out of me and I don't want drugs to be the reason my kids calm down. I believe diet and environment at this age should play a bigger role, and then later on, as they near adulthood, I can discuss it more in depth with their doctor. I feel terrible that I have passed this on to my kids, but I have lived with it without being suicidal my entire life, and I know that they will be able to manage it too.

Testing is just what kids do. Somewhere there is a handbook that all the kids keep hidden from their parents that clearly states that they are not doing their job right if they aren't challenging and testing their parents, lol. Sometimes we have good days. Sometimes we don't. As a general rule, if I'm going shopping, I bring my older daughter with me as she is more helpful and better behaved, but I actually had to take her aside on Monday when my friend gave me a ride to the store and chastise her because she was acting very out of character. She was fidgety, overly talkative, and talking back. I told her I didn't like her behavior and I told her I was disappointed in her behavior and asked her if I could continue to count on her good behavior, because if I couldn't, she wouldn't be coming to the store with me anymore. She immediately began to behave herself. It was just so out of character for her. I knew her seratonin levels must have been haywire that day. Her behavior was almost manic in nature, but not quite so severe. Just manic compared to how she usually acts. I don't often have to raise my voice with her, and Monday I didn't either, I just spoke calmly and softly, but firmly.

My younger daughter's OCD so far is limited to her hands and lips. She was licking her fingers constantly, and I had to ride her for probably two years and chastise her every time I caught her doing it, and I was able to get her to switch from licking her fingers to putting lotion on her hands. But then it moved to constantly licking her lips. We partially stopped that by giving her a chap stick, but I still catch her from time to time. I have noticed a drastic improvement in their behaviors when they were fed less healthy foods. It's hard when you're on a budget to reduce the amount of already made foods that your children can eat, but I do try. I have started making a lot of foods myself that previously I used to buy, like preserves (I am NOT ambitious enough to make my own peanut butter though!), and there are still more foods that I would like to home make, like pastas, so that I can eliminate the unnecessary preservatives and chemicals. It's a work in progress. I think we're in a society that is too dependent on drugs as cure all to end all, and I don't think they are all as good as everyone would like to believe that they are. I think we should start at home first, and work from there.

 

[Royd]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

I am trying so hard to be a good mother and I feel like I am failing so miserably.

My DD is ten and she is an exceptional child. She has a very high IQ but dyslexia which drives her insane. She is very intuitive, but also moody and given to a terrible temper (something sadly she inherited from me). She is perceptive to a fault and can be extremely critical which is something I do not handle well.

I know what I SHOULD do as a parent. Most of the times I know what I am Supposed to say, but I am also human. And she can be as irritating as a mosquito in the night. She follows me around criticizing me. She tells me she is angry at me but that she won't tell me what for. Everything I do that she thinks is a mistake she points out. If I had wanted that in my life I would have stayed married to my first husband! I made a point of getting toxic people out of my life and now I gave birth to one??!?!?! When I tell her she cannot do anything that she knows pretty much she is not allowed to do anyway, she starts the fit. I know the teens are coming, but they can't be here already can they??

If that is what this is I am going to have to put her up on Ebay! I will not be able to do this for 8 more years!

Sounds like your child needs a good spanking.

Sorry, wrong thread.​

 

[TheBarnSwallow]

Wish I could help you ... Have you ever read any of the child rearing books by the Pearls? They are a christian ministry and although alot of folks dont agree with their child rearing ways I have found many of their suggestions helpful to keeping my childrens hearts respectful.

 

[Qi Chicken]

You don't have to be energetic to make peanut butter. Go to the healthfood store (ours is probably 10 hrs away though) and you put peanuts in the bin and a jar under and PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Coolest thing ever. Ours didn't like it, must not have had enough corn syrup in it.

To OP, you are great and thinking this through. Take time to listen to her and she will listen to you. I did NOT want that to rhyme. Sorry!

 

[zippitydooda]

rofl!

OMG, that is SOOOOO my daughter. I'm not laughing at you... I'm just laughing at the whole situation. My youngest (age 15) started acting like that at around age 10, and I can TOTALLY relate.

This was my response to pretty much every little fit, attitude, scene:

"I AM THE MOM. YOU ARE THE KID. GET OVER IT AND DO WHAT I SAY. PERIOD."

Now that she's older, she only rolls her eyes and scoffs once in a while. Remember, this too shall pass. You will be cool again (in maybe 10-15 years). teehee.

 

[MeatKing]

So I am dislesic (sorry for the spelling) Grew up all my life thinking I wasn't good enough, angry ect. In college I did an english essay on how the brain works, left and right side. For example most left handers are dislesic, we also use the right side of our brains. Freud, Enstine, right brained people.. One can draw the conclusion, that most genuis's think outside the box, different ect.(right brained) She may be dislic, but is probley super good at something.. Find it, get her to do an essey on right brianed people, I am sure she is one. Let her see her strong points, not her weak ones.. Maybe she will be less angry... My kids are still young, so can't give you advce there.. But really wish I would've reascher how the brain worked when younger. really made me feel better.

 

[BlackHawk37]

My daughter has always helped me with the chickens with her brother. She would pick up rooster and hen alike, parade them around showing them to whoever was available, sometimes taking them as far as the neighbors and even the nearby village.
I'm so glad she's here with me now, or I wouldn't know the first thing about posting on a forum. I thought the 'emoticons' as they're called were simply there for decoration, or possibly put there to purposefully mock me.