Rambling rant-how do you survive parenthood to a teenager?

[redhen]

Quote:
all i can say is..you CANT protect his bad behaviors forever...he may just have to learn the hard way....if you have to call the police....its his choice. i'd make that VERY clear to him....its HIS choice how things will proceed....i honestly believe that is the only way they will learn sometimes....by 2 things: #1 he will be held accountable for ALL his actions....and #2 the parent HAS to be consistant with the rules and consequences! *otherwise its VERY mean to the child...because you are sending him VERY mixed messages and how is he supposed to act then? if one day he gets away with something..and yet the next day...he is getting punished...*..so, basically..it's being consistant with them....no mixed messages AND he HAS to live with the repercussions from his behavior...thats all YOU can do..the rest is really up to him.....if he wants to go to jail...its HIS choice really...i also wanted to add...i think you are doing an awesome job!...sometimes they freak out at first when things change for them..and new harder rules are set in place, AND when they get caught at something!..;o)....they usually get over it....just stay firm with him. good luck again! ;o)

 

[Mom 2em All]

Quote:
And you know- you are exactly right. I am just so tired right now, i cant even think. (avoidance?..lol, probably.) Tomorrow is another day- and I will start formulating concrete rules/consequences, and go from there.

Thank you. And as an off-subject, I would love to see pictures of your sulcata...distant cousin of my sulcata- no doubt.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
And you know- you are exactly right. I am just so tired right now, i cant even think. (avoidance?..lol, probably.) Tomorrow is another day- and I will start formulating concrete rules/consequences, and go from there.

Thank you. And as an off-subject, I would love to see pictures of your sulcata...distant cousin of my sulcata- no doubt.

things will work out for you! *sniff* i cant show you any recent pics of him..he died!....

....i need to update my sig. line..sorry!

 

[agnes_day]

Quote:
my son tried something similar..i made him earn the money to pay for summer school.
he spent all last summer mowing his fool head off and working with his dad and went up to the school and paid it off.

 

[chickenmum]

according to Biblical Law, if a son talks like to the parent, he gets stoned by the community.
something tells me that never happened in the 5000 odd years that law has been in place. hopefully.

maybe your son should read all these posts on here?

 

[Mom 2em All]

An update to my situation:

I found out, through a series of events- and reading everything here...and everything I wrote, and putting two and two together..my son has been taking prescription xanax. No, not mine- I don't take anything. He buys it at school for two dollars a pill.

Apparently the five dollars a day for lunch that I give him helps his habit out nicely.

His friend confessed it all to my stepdaughter. She works with troubled teens, and I asked her to please help me with him. So, she gave his friend a ride home, and he told her everything.

I put a call in to my sons pediatrician. He faxed me some numbers for counselors.
Then, I took my husband to a restaurant- and I told him everything.

I don't really know what I am doing, but we plan on informing my son that we know, on Monday, when I get home from work. My stepdaughter is going to be there.
It will toughlove- but I am not sure really, what I am doing. I do know that he will be accountable for very much more than he has ever been, and that he will have to earn my trust- and prove he has been clean before he will have any privileges again.

 

[MissPrissy]

With substance abuse your son will need much more than family counselor talk therapy. He needs to be in a drug awareness and rehab program. You will have to be vigorous in your actions and steadfast in your plan to help him. Love hurts. Drug addictions are real. They are nasty hangers on. The detox for them is excruciatingly painful to watch. They do not go away over night by making promises not to do it again.

Teenage prescription drug abuse is HUGE right now. Go to any pharmacy and they are required to hand out the teen drug abuse and addiction literature to make you informed of the effects. Popping prescription pills is making him an addict. Drug Addict is an ugly ugly set of words but the truth is often ugly.

I hope things work out for the best for you and your family. I hope this issue can be resolved and your son can get over this and move forward not as a statistic but as a survivor.

You all have a long road ahead of you.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

I second everything MissPrissy said. Your son's school should have a social worker that can connect you to drug rehab resources for teens in your area.

You will also want to alert your son's school that the Xanax is being sold there. If you can figure out who is doing the selling, that person will probably be expelled/sent to jail, etc. That will get that person away from your son and anyone else they are selling to.

Please help save the other kids at your son's school by alerting the school and the authorities.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I'm sorry to hear this, but unsurprised. You and your family will be in my thoughts. It sounded like you handled this well with enlisting other family members to help, and talking to your husband in a neutral space. Good job on you. It looks like the hard stuff might just be beginnning. I wish you all the luck in the world. Let us know how it all is going; you'll always have a sympathetic ear here.

I second Chilcken Lady about alerting the school. They should be ready to bend over backwards for you since they didn't bother to let you know your son was never in school and yet they still let him play football. Talk to the counselor at school too; they deal with this garbage all the time and should have resources for you to call on.

Your son could also know he is depressed and is self medicating. Just one more awful thing to have to think about.

 

[Beekissed]

The solution to the original problem is far too late to employ. When a teenager yells and slams doors this is a good indication that the horse was let out of the barn years ago and cannot be reharnessed.

Its really a grab bag what your children will become or how they behave when they leave your home after graduating....but while they reside with you is another story. Even my 22 yr. old would never dream of yelling or slamming a door in my house. It took years of hard work and conditioning, starting from the first day home from the hospital, but it pays off in the long run.

Now, all that's available is trying to save a kid from himself.