Rant About Ex...

[Sonoran Silkies]

In most states it is a violation of custody to move a child out of the state without the permission of the non-custodial parent or the court; it is an issue that can cause you to lose custody. In some states you even have to have permission to take a child out of state on a vacation.

 

[MIKE555444]

Quote:
I would think it would be a violation for the non-custodial parent to take him out of state but I wouldn't think it would be a violation for the custodial parent to take him anywhere???

 

[joebryant]

Any "ex" no longer has any say in what you do as a parent, mother or father, as long as it's legal. If you don't want to argue, simply listen if you want to, say uh huh, and do as you please.

Maybe this is off the wall, but he could be thinking that there's a possibility of you and the older child's father getting back together, and he's concerned and wants to make trouble, any kind of trouble, hoping you won't continue contacting the older boy's grandparents.

 

[Ducklove334]

sometimes I think people who get devorced can be the most childish

, talking about your ex, no you, but I've known some women who can get pretty crazy too...my mother included.

good for you I reckon

 

[GaNewChick]

Quote:
Take him, he will have a great time once he is there. Without knowing all the details of your marriage/divorce and going only on what you have said here ~ I have one caution (although I don't know your ex) be careful about telling him it is none of his business what you do with your son, who is also his son. He does have a say, but that doesn't mean you have to do what he says. Just politely tell him, that you have listened to his suggestion and have made the decision to take him. If he loves and cares for his son, that is a threat he shouldn't have to live under. And most likely, there are going to be times when you are uncomfortable with where he chooses to take the son, and you too could be met with: It is my son, my time, and it is none of your business. It sounds as though he is a good father ~ these are *games* between two adults that will have an impact on the children.

Enjoy your vacation, and maybe after y'all are there a couple of days, let him call his dad.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
I would think it would be a violation for the non-custodial parent to take him out of state but I wouldn't think it would be a violation for the custodial parent to take him anywhere???

Unless his visitation rights have been revoked, taking the child where visitation cannot occur violates his visitation rights. In most cases visitation schedules are set in the custody agreement--anything you do that alters that schedule can be viewed as violation of a court order.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Not unless his parental rights have been severed. Even if you have sole custody he still has some rights in regards to his children. If you make decisions that he considers unreasonable, you may have to justify them to the court.

I do not consider taking your child on vacation and visiting his half-brother'ts paternal grandparents unreasonable--I fully support the idea of an extended family that is not entirely based upon biology. If the OP had planned (which is obviously not the case) to visit the half-brother's father in prison, I do think that that would be a reasonable objection.

 

[MaggieRae]

Have fun in Texas!!!
I happen to find it very nice and not dangerous.

 

[amyc]

Well, he's quieted down - and my son is happier about going now after our talk...

We're not going to visit the biological in jail - I refuse to let my oldest have contact with the biological until and unless he cleans up his act. This visit is strictly to visit the grandparents who do not have a criminal history and are good people. I would never put my DSs in any position where they would be harmed (either physically or emotionally). I do think that the ex is jealous of a lot of things - of a possible relationship between Hunter (the oldest) and the biological family, that I got my finances straight enough to afford a vacation, and basically that I got my stuff together - and he really hasn't.

As far as the legality issue - I work for lawyers, so I know I'm covered. In my divorce judgment it allows for each parent to have up to two weeks of vacation each calendar year, which comes above our regular placement schedule. If I were going to establish residence more than 150 miles away for more than 90 days, I would need his permission.

Maggie Rae: I'm going to be flying in and over in your neck of the woods (coming into Dallas Fort Worth airport) - I'll tell my kids that I PERSONALLY heard from someone that its not anymore dangerous in TX than it is in WI.

 

[MaggieRae]

I'm 20 minutes from the airport. It's a nice one.

If anything, WI is more dangerous with all that snow! Very scary!

ETA- another thing you can do is try to get the kids really excited about flying. At their young age, this would be a really neat experience!!!