Ranting. If you have any advice/help, I'd be grateful.

[AxelFlynn08]

Ugh >.>

So I asked a few generous people in need of a new home for their troublesome roosters if
they could send them to me, and they said they could. So now I have three roosters(beautiful copper marans and a Silkie)
headed my way. So far my fiance has had to pay NONE of the expenses coming with any birds I have/have gotten.

So could someone please tell me why the hell she wants me to stop? We want birds. I can help us get birds for free.
She doesn't have to pay for them, or even so much as help care for them. So why should it matter? I have no idea.
Either way, she tells me to stop and "Wait until we can get them through less complicated means". How complicated is this for us
again? I ask about a bird, if the owner can't ship it's fine, and if they can then chances are I have us a new bird. Sure it can be a mite
complicated for the one shipping, but how does that complicate her life? Frick. I swear, I just feel like screaming about what a hypocrite
she can be.

I mean....she complains and complains about how my mom complains. What does my mom complain about? Dogs. Dogs that she doesn't
have to pay for, talk to, clean up after, or so much as look at. You know, like how she complains about me getting chickens that so far,
she has yet to do a thing to care for. I've had our current chickens cared for and healthy for almost a month. She saw them when I first got
them, and a few times after, but until recently, had NOT seen them. They were pullets and cockerels when I got them. Only just feathering.
When she saw her...oh yeah, she considers two of them hers. When she saw 'her' hen the other day, she was shocked to see that Speckles
(a beautiful Production Red) was fully feathered and no longer 'peeping'

I feel like streaming a long, unwanted fountain of curse words, but I've been 'trained' to keep my cool. Basically you know, I have no privacy anywhere
(including my E-mail) so I normally can't rant very well. I feel like I can here though, so long as she never notices that I am subscribed to a topic
labeled "Rant".

...Oh, and I guess just to add insult to injury, I still clean up after HER dog, feed three dogs, 11 adult cats, 8 kittens, and my birds every day, by myself.
I have to clean the chicken house soon, give the puppies a bath(oh yeah, we have 4 puppies too. I'm glad we own a farm), and make sure I clean up her messes
before she gets home from work. Yes. I have to clean up her freakin' messes every day and wait on her. Ohhh, I know, she goes to work. She runs the register
and stocks so when she gets home, I have to wait on her hand and foot. Wahhhh. GET A GRIP. There are single mothers and lonely people who have to work
3 jobs to get by, and you're getting pissy over me not cleaning your side of the computer desk up? Suck it up already. I clean up your messes, the animal's messes,
my parent's messes, and my own. Oh, and just to add more, I have to deal with you getting mad over stupid things, never apologizing for anything, and expecting
praise for cleaning the horrendous messes left by you dog(that I clean regularly) when you actually decide to do it? Screw you.

Oh, if you're down this far and wondering why I never say these things to her, it's because if i'm ever mad at her for a legitimate reason, she gets mad at me. Doesn't
apologize or try to do better, just gets mad and turns the whole situation around to where I'm the bad guy who needs to apologize.

 

[sourland]

Wow, are you sure that this relationship is worth this? Long term relationships are based upon mutual respect. I hope that things straighten out for you. Life is too short to be spent in misery.

 

[AxelFlynn08]

Wow, are you sure that this relationship is worth this? Long term relationships are based upon mutual respect. I hope that things straighten out for you. Life is too short to be spent in misery.

To be completely honest, I'm not sure sometimes. I love her too much to leave, but at the same time, I really don't know how much she values me.
I mean...if I tell her that I've been badly injured, sometimes, she'll even dismiss my pain level and physical state as a lesser injury
and just tell me to suck it up. My bones are very tiny and fragile under pressure. The best example I can give was when I fell down the stairs, I broke two
toes. They turned black and purple, but she still dismisses the injury as a sprain.

 

[Peaches Lee]

Yes, I think you need to rethink this relationship. So far from what I'm reading, it's a one way street with you making all the sacrifice. And dismissing your injuries is very bad!! Not having any privacy is also a big red flag. I would get out now, and enjoy your life. You need your freedom back. Also, she sounds like a Narcissist. Honestly, I think you need to get out, doubtless it will get better. Good luck to you.

 

[donrae]

And you're getting what from this relationship, again?

I do have to say, though, if you're getting overwhelmed taking care of the animals you already have, adding more might not be the best bet. Sounds like you also live with your folks? Might be time to reconsider that, also.

 

[AxelFlynn08]

I thank anyone for paying attention to me. I know it doesn't seem right, but when the relationship is good, then it's really good. '
And to the question of living with my parents, yes we do but it's a 4 acre farm and no one cares about the number of animals.
I'm kind of one of those pathetic people who is hopelessly in love and I don't think it'll change so long as there's a chance that
she will. I simply can't leave or kick her out. It isn't me. If I ever hit a breaking point one day, it's probably going to be explosive,
but I'll live.

I get mad and rant to let out my feelings online and then everything is normally fine. It's so odd to me sometimes...