Re-homing wild animals question...

[nao57]

So...this is the only forum area that fits this question.

And I really need help with this. Please reply!

When you have relatives bringing over drug friends to party, do they have to be doing something bad for you to ask them to leave?

Its my understanding that even non-home owners can ask bad guests to leave. And part of why its like this is so children can be protected. in theory, I guess even children could ask someone to leave.

But there's a few spots about how trespassing laws and how they work that I don't quite understand?

And what if a sibling doesn't want them to leave but you do, can they overwrite your 'invitation for them to leave'? (trespassing question)

Or what if the sibling invites or just lets them in, and you see them, can you invite them to leave as soon as you see them, even if they haven't done anything yet? (There's no doubt in my mind they are trying to make this a party house. Zero doubt. But they are sneaky about it.)

Is there any trouble with telling a family member (who has many abuses of the rules), that they can no longer have any guests at the house, from a legal stand point? (This person will not cease bringing over friends. And they are trying to turn the house into a drug party house. This makes me so upset. The last few days I could hardly thing straight, because it bothers me that these 'wild animals that need re-homing', should not be here.

My elderly parents are weak also. And these friends sense the weakness and that they don't understand because they are so old. And they are refusing to kick out the sibling who is trying to force his friends in the house (so that he can be a partyer too.)(We had a few years ago had a major thing of saying he can't smoke sh- stuff and drink in the house. And this is why he's trying to get us to accept letting his friends in.)

But when I asked the police about it, I was so stressed out I missed asking about a few parts. And if I don't know how to even clearly state what's going on when I talk to them, they will just blow it off. (That's what happened 5 years ago also. We thought we were through with this. Now its back.)

And what about how you can punish someone who is trying assert landlord rights, who is not a landlord? (The sibling trying to give permission for his friends to stay the night, because they were kicked out of their own houses.) If this person also is a guest, not paying rent, stealing my groceries, etc, and overall living off other people, isn't there some way of punishing them for taking on landlord authority when they aren't one, and were never given such authority? It makes me mad when 'the guest' is trying to give permission for a friend to stay. And is there some way it can be considered criminal when its told ahead of time, you can't have people over, and then they sneak them in after everyone else has gone to sleep? (Either in the yard or the house?)

And we had a major screwed up situation where 'bad guest' (Sibling) invited a guest over on 4th of July, then that guest brought over a guest, and when we found out about it the other guest was trying to bring over another guest also. All of them high and all drugees.

This is so frustrating.

I hope that some of you may have had experiences with this and can give advise.

 

[Sara Ranch]

Oh wow. To clarify...

1. Is this YOUR place of residence that has people appearing that you do NOT want in your house?

If the answer is yes, YOU have the right to ask them to leave. If necessary to call the police to have the people removed.

2. Are you talking about your parents house? Do you have a Power of Attorney for your parents? If not, get one. Keep the original stored in a safe place. Make multiple copies. Have one on/near you to be able to produce to the police, if your authority is questioned.

Do you have court appointed guardianship over your parents? Or help from a lawyer drawn up and notarized guardianship papers over your parents? If not, consider having this done.

If you possess the POA and your parents are not home, THEN you can request/require the unwanted people to leave. THEN you can call the police to have them removed.

If you're parents are home when the unwanted people show up, then you don't have any authority unless your parents will back you up.

If you have guardianship over your parents, THEN you can request/require the unwanted people to leave. THEN you can call the authorities to have them removed.

3. If you are in fear of your life or your parents lives from the unwanted people, you might be able to get a restraining order to keep them away from the residence and the persons.

This is NOT legal advice. If I have totally misunderstood your scenarios/questions, I am sorry.

EDITED to add:

Only the legal owner of the real estate has the right to determine who is on the property, unless there is a legal contract (like a lease, power of attorney, guardianship, etc) that specifically gives that authority to someone else.

The sibling who invites others over to his parents house can only be punished by the parents.

I lease the house to your parents, then there is a legal contract that would have language in the lease about illegal activity being prohibited on the property. A violation of the lease could result in eviction and additional legal action against the leasee's.

I have guardianship over my adult child. He is living on my property. He has some friends that come over that do drugs on the property - I have the legal right to ask them to leave and to call the authorities to have them removed. My son could as well, since that is his residence.

 

[EggSighted4Life]

And I really need help with this. Please reply!

Please add your general location to your profile so we may know which state or country you are in and make our most relevant suggestions at a glance without having to ask first Since laws vary by location.

First thing to grab my attention.. Elder's.. there are elderly protective services here in the US.. may be known as adult protective services/social services.

Are your parents the the owner, land lord, tenants? Do you help them make medical or financial type decisions or do they still do all that themselves?

Do you have a copy of the rental agreement? Are YOU an adult and on the agreement as well? Is your sibling listed as a resident or considered an adult? Subletting is usually against the contract or allowing visitors is often limited to under 14 days. If your family is not the owner.. call the owner and report the undocumented tenant, sibling. This MAY cause some issue for parents and even make them mad at you.. Tough love?

Unfortunately MANY of us face seeing loved ones taken advantage of by another they love. It's ALWAYS frustrating to feel powerless.

If they're doing drugs.. call the police.. when they leave your place loaded, call the police and report public intoxication.. Are the druggies on probation, report them if so!

I mean if it were me I would make life a living hell for them (the sibling AND friends).. knowing it *could* become a living hell for me.. watch me turn the water hose on them as they approach the house, spike drinks with hot sauce, spike groceries with exlax, or any number of things.

Unfortunately MY parents were (not elderly) but JUST as sick as the siblings taking advantage and people make their own choices, which I am NOT in control of. So I had to wash my hands as I had NO recourse to help.

I hated seeing my uncle tell my grandma.. "give me some pills (or cash) Bertha".. her name was Jewel. Shortly after she passed so did he from a heroin overdose.

Truth is it seems like people just want to party.. and sometimes that's the case.. but more so, people have issues.. hormone imbalance, abandonment fear, self esteem, lack of coping tools, and general mental illness.. Getting treatment to get to the ROOT of the problem.. find out what they are escaping from (real or perceived) and help them connect with (feel more accepted and understood by) their genetic blood family instead of their chosen one (friends). Remember.. when you thought you were past this, that it didn't get this way over night and new behaviors take practice to get them right and make them lasting. Never give up, dear hurting and frustrated soul..

War would have been the younger me.. now I kill them with kindness... I would find all the ways I could help them and do it.. Offer healing and encouragement, not tolerance but acceptance that many folks who use drugs WISH they could overcome it and don't know how or have a clue where to begin getting the RIGHT tools.. for THEM. Try, try, and try some more.. Love never fails!

In fact, I have 3 sibling, all who had their children taken due to drugs. My youngest brother, who is approaching 40 is going to be visiting for the first time in more than 10 years, this coming weekend.. He now has 2 or 3 years clean from Rx pain killers, heroin, and the like. He's a bastard when he's using.. and it's hard to take the risk.. YET again! But wish us, healing and wholeness, I wish your family the same!

I too am NOT a legal adviser or expert.. just a caring BYC'er who has dealt with too much of this type of heartache to not try and share a LITTLE possible peace of mind or encouragement. Always make YOUR best choice! Don't sweat the petty BUT if you have TRUE cause for concern, don't relent.

Worse case scenario.. once allowed to stay.. squatters get tenant rights and the law protects the criminal! Well, that's not the worse case, but definitely an undesired outcome that HAS happened.

 

[Sapphire Sebright]

Oh, my goodness, this sounds awful!
It is your house, or is it your sibling's? If it is your house, then, yes, you should certainly be able to kick someone out, regardless of who invited them -- that is, after all, trespassing.
Are the "guests" a threat to the safety and health of your parents or anyone else who lives in the house? It sounds like they are certainly disruptive, and perhaps even dangerous -- after all, drugs affect a person's thinking, often drastically. They can make a person do things that they would never do otherwise.
I don't know what the laws are where you live, and I haven't had to deal with anything like this myself, so I don't really have much advice for you. Sorry.
I hope that someone can help you soon, though. Hang in there, and good luck.

 

[EggSighted4Life]

Are the "guests" a threat to the safety and health of your parents or anyone else who lives in the house?

Covid 19 says they ARE a threat to the health and safety of ALL parties concerned really.