That's the plan, but if I am not paying attention I instinctively react physically.
I think you need to thank this part of your mind and respect its wisdom, hard earned from thousands of years of human breeding to not die too quickly.
I say this, in part, because I've long noticed people dismissing those instincts in themselves as if they were foolishness or useless or meant to be overcome.
Nurture vs Nature is always the big question.
If an animal was abused... gentleness, patience, and consistency are the solution. I apprenticed with a natural horsemanship trainer working with abused horses, and my own horse had been abused, so I have a mentality of approaching animals softly. I'm versed in learning theory.
Yet I would not take this approach with roosters. Because cockerels will get like this regardless of how they are treated, unless they have a particularly docile personality (which is what everyone should be breeding for).
Think about the flock instinct - several hens to one rooster. Yet an even ratio of female and male chicks hatch out. The males are meant to fight for their place.
What we want from chickens is different from what nature wants. So, we have to be more diligent in our selection.
I tell you, other people or your own expectations can make you feel like you're doing something wrong when the other is not cooperating... but you can't force self-control on another living being. You can't make him smart enough to realize his food source should not be killed for being in his space.
I've raised enough roos now that I can definitely say, you raise them the same and out of a batch of 20 cockerels, odds are one will be nicer. Smarter. Out of a hundred you can get one truly special.
The terms of survival have changed.
This is the test:
Can you get along with humans?
Anecdote:
My favorite roo, Clifford, we have done nothing special with. No convincing him that we are nice humans, and I never defer to him while walking around or avoid paying attention to my hens in his presence. And he does have presence, he's huge!
Yesterday he was covered in blood. Not his.
A nasty feral rooster came by and got its hiney kicked. At one point, it thought it could hide in the bushes, and Clifford is too big to get him out. So, my mom used a stick to thrash the bushes and get the intruder out... then she wound up with roosters fighting at her feet. At no point did Clifford see mom as an enemy, even as the intruder fled and Clifford's blood was still up. He's still a bit stressed over it all, but we don't have to watch our backs around him.
And I'm not just bragging on him, because he's not the only one. There are lots of friendly roosters out there.
This is why a lot of us get a bit... insistent about the fate of mean roos. Because we've experienced enough of both to learn the hard lesson and wish to save others the trouble.