REMINDER to parents of young ones...

[turney31]

google John Robinson serial killer

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

OMG, i think that was the guy.

 

[HeatherLynn]

We are probably a bit stricter in some areas and a bit looser in others. I have a 9 and 7 year old who both have a facebook page. We set it up. We have the passwords. They also have to have the computer password to get in which they can only get if we type it in. It is set to private and their only friends are their aunties and us. Since we are on FB they were a bit too curious and driving us up the wall so we talked to the relatives and set them one up with them as friends. I think there is one family friend on there. The others I just can't trust their language 24/7. I think you have to start young on talking to them not just about what they should not do but very frankly about why. It might be scary for them but unfortunately they need to be a bit scared of the dangers out there. They each have an MP3 player that we got them for riding in the car. We pick the music list based on what they like that is acceptable.

On the other hand we are the only parents from my kids circle of friends that has not allowed cell phones, iphones even not just simple little cell phone. I am told they will never have more friends because they don't have cell phones. One of my sons little 8 year old buddies thinks playing those new card games are for little kids, he would rather txt his friends on his phone. Even the other moms think I should loosen my grip a bit. Ummm no.

 

[WriterofWords]

I recently had an experience with Steven, my 18 year old bullet-proof child. He met a girl in Idaho playing one of his online fantasy games or war games I'm not sure which. Anyone,, he didn't tell her exactly where he lived,, just that we were right outside of El Paso, TX. What he did do though, was give her his cell phone number! They talked late at night several times and she sent him a text message two weeks ago that she was coming down here as soon as school was out, told him where her reservation was and everything. this is when he told me about what was going on and he didn't know how to handle it. She had told him she was 17, her parents didn't care what she did, and that she had a credit card of her own and could do what she wanted. The same night he told me what was going on he got a text message from her number that said it was the girls mother, and that if Steven contacted her again she would call the police. I told him don't answer, don't answer calls or messages.

Two days later he got a call on his cell phone from a 915 (El Paso) exchange and it was her telling him she was at the Comfort Inn in El Paso, come pick her up and she was so sorry about her mom and that her mom had taken her cell phone away so she didn't have it. I got the girls cell phone number from Steven and called it from the house phone because I can block the number easier. I called the number and the girls mother answered right away, I explained to her who I was, what was going on, and where her daughter was. I told her Steven would not be going into El Paso to either pick her up or see her, but I felt the mom should know where she was. The girls mother literally broke down sobbing,, the girl is 13 years old, can physically pass for 20 easily and has been pretending to be an older girl online for quite awhile. Her parents are divorced and her mom said she does her computer surfing at her dad's house every other week because he works almost all night and she has free rein while he is at work. She found out about Steven because she looked at her daughters phone will the girl was in the shower and saw her message to Steven. She figured he was some online pervert stalking little girls.

Long story short, we both contacted the El Paso PD and she was picked up outside the Comfort Inn, she didn't have a room, she was just sitting in the lobby waiting for Steven to pick her up!

 

[asher]

Oh my gosh! How incredibly scary!!!

 

[cafe]

Both my 17 y/o and 15 y/o daughters have cells because I want them to be able to get ahold of me if something comes up or I'm running late picking them up or something. Amazingly enough, that's what they use them for and little else. Neither one of them has ever used over ten minutes in a month and most of those are them calling home or making arrangements with friends for school projects. But they are geeky homebodies like their parents.

After some of the stuff I've heard happening, I'm not doing texting/data on the kids' phones. I've heard horror stories about girls sending nudie pics to boys they were crushing on and then the boy would get in trouble and be considered a sex offender for possessing child porn.

That's enough to scare the stuffing out of me.

I've also had, get a load of this, the school send home forms for me to allow my kids names and photos to appear on their websites, etc.

Now maybe it wouldn't be a big deal for a lot of families, but we are the only family with our last name in this city of 55,000 people. It would not be hard to find my kids if you knew what their names were and where they went to school. It's like their running a pedophile catalog or something.

Each time I got one of those forms, I told them they could use my child's name *or* their photos but not both. I think they thought I was as crazy as I think they are, but I haven't gotten any forms like that lately. Maybe fear of liability finally knocked some sense into them.

As far as facebook goes, my oldest daughter has an account and I am her friend so I can see what she's got going on. She's always been one of those no-nonsense, doesn't suffer fools gladly people and she's very nearly her own legal responsibility.

My younger daughter is more of a tender-hearted, optimistic soul, so I am going to have to be a bit more vigilant with her, I think.

My boys are 13 and 11, but mildly autistic and couldn't care less about the internet for anything besides World of Warcraft, cheat codes, and Youtube at this point -- oh, and BYC. My youngest son loves this site, but only for gathering information, not interacting.

FWIW, we don't put computers in bedrooms. We have four computers and they are all in public areas in the house. It's just a no-effort, albeit far from fool-proof, safety measure.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
I agree with you. Start young, but still be careful. DD has a cell, a computer in her room, etc. The cell was because she and her sister stayed home alone a few times while I worked, sis was 17 then, so she got a phone. Computer was a b-day gift from her uncle...too bad she's lost it. I'm not saying in any way all these gadgets are bad, I just think, when your kid has a full line into the world via a screen in their room then they are face to face with every possible situation, and caution MUST BE ADHERED TO. DD has shown she can't play by the rules. Unfortunate mistake that is costing her dearly right now. She was still crying and apologizing this afternoon when she called. You'd think I had beat her...lol. Guilt hurts! I hate to see her this way, she's really a great kid most of the time, and usually very responsible, but she is still A CHILD and needs protection from her own naive little mind that "didn't see anything wrong with it" until it was explained AGAIN. We had had the discussion before, but the reminder made her crumble. She is embarrassed, saddened by her own mistake, and dearly sorry, and at the same time..."glad we found out"..her own words. I have a good kid...I'd kinda like to keep her

 

[WriterofWords]

Quote:
Simple... get the password from her and dont let her touch a computer again for a long time... (and i dont mean a piddley 2 weeks either ...She needs to know that you are SERIOUS)
If her cell has internet service... take the phone away too...
And thats letting her off very easy IMO

I wish it were that simple. If she's done it once she'll do it again and you can't force her to cough up the password. At 16 she can access the Internet from any friends house, any library, any Internet Cafe or other places. The best thing to do is sit with her, look at her FB page and try and come to an agreement about what she posts and pictures she puts up. Tell her you will allow her to have her FB page but you want the password so if she puts up something dangerous you can remove it and explain to her why you are removing but don't abuse the power of the password. I'm condoning NOT her lying, so please do not flame me, I'm trying to give you a way to open a line of communication between you that will help her understand the dangers and why you want to be able to monitor it.

 

[XHippieChickX]

All these people with young kids on Facebook, I find it ok as long as they don't (which EVERYONE in my grade does) A)Friend people they don't know because "he's so cute!" I'm serious, a girl in my class said this. B) Say their EXACT Street Adress, and Cell number.
I see it on everyone's page. It's scary :\\

 

[crtrlovr]

Quote:
Simple... get the password from her and dont let her touch a computer again for a long time... (and i dont mean a piddley 2 weeks either ...She needs to know that you are SERIOUS)
If her cell has internet service... take the phone away too...
And thats letting her off very easy IMO

I wish it were that simple. If she's done it once she'll do it again and you can't force her to cough up the password. At 16 she can access the Internet from any friends house, any library, any Internet Cafe or other places. The best thing to do is sit with her, look at her FB page and try and come to an agreement about what she posts and pictures she puts up. Tell her you will allow her to have her FB page but you want the password so if she puts up something dangerous you can remove it and explain to her why you are removing but don't abuse the power of the password. I'm condoning her lying, so please do not flame me, I'm trying to give you a way to open a line of communication between you that will help her understand the dangers and why you want to be able to monitor it.

I am CERTAIN that Writer of Words actually meant to say "I'm NOT condoning her lying". Right, WoW?