Yessur Ebob

Songster
9 Years
Apr 23, 2010
1,068
3
151
Pennsylvania
My dad got this from somewhere and I though that you all might like it.



Roping a deer

I had this idea, that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,

feed it corn for a couple of months, then kill it and eat it...

The first step in this adventure was 'getting' a deer. I figured, since

they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of

me, (A bold one will sometimes, come right up and sniff at the bags of

feed, while I am in the back of the truck,... not 4 feet away) it should

not be difficult to rope one, get to it and toss a bag over its head,

(to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end, with my ready rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They

were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, the deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a

likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my

lasso. The deer just stood there, staring at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end, so I would have

a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but I could

tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step toward it... It took a step away. I put a little tension

on the rope and then received an 'education'.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand

there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action

when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED like a rocket!

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT

stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I

could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer... NO chance!

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no

controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me

that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had

originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other

animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk

me off my feet and drag me, when I managed to get up. It took me a few

minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing

out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for

corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that creature off the end of that

rope.

I figured if I just let it go, with the rope hanging around its neck, it

would likely die slowly and painfully, somewhere.

At the time, there was no love, at all, between me and that deer. At

that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess... the

feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots, where I had

cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various

large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think

clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared

some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I

didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get

it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder... a little trap I

had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope

back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would

have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised

when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of

my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse, where

they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its

head... almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it HURTS!

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and

draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was

ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but

it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim

by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the 'tarnation' out of

my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on

their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and

their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal (like a horse) strikes at

you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to

do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the

animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can
escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer... so obviously, such trickery

would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different

strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a

horse that paws at you, is that there is a good chance that it will hit

you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses

after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because

the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and

knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not

immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has

passed. What they do instead, is paw your back and jump up and down on

you, while you are laying there, crying like a little girl and covering

your head.

I finally managed to crawl under my truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why, when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a

scope, and stay as far away from that deer until they are sure it is
edible!
 

NurseELB

Songster
11 Years
Oct 16, 2008
507
6
141
Lacey, WA






I read this out loud so the family could hear it. My DH was doing chores and left the room a few times. When he came back, DD and I were laughing pretty hard. DH, not hearing the entire story then says "why didn't he just shoot the darn thing?" Thus causing both DD and I to completely lose it.

Thank you for the laughter. I needed that!
 

michickenwrangler

To Finish Is To Win
11 Years
Jun 8, 2008
4,511
28
241
NE Michigan
Actually, this isn't something I'd joke about. Up at Pigeon River Forest area near Gaylord, MI, us horse riders received some bad PR a few years back and had to fight to be allowed to bring horses because some yahoos got drunk and tried to rope the elk.
 

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