roping a deer

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Yessur Ebob, Jun 8, 2010.

  1. Yessur Ebob

    Yessur Ebob Songster

    Apr 23, 2010
    My dad got this from somewhere and I though that you all might like it.[​IMG]

    Roping a deer

    I had this idea, that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,

    feed it corn for a couple of months, then kill it and eat it...

    The first step in this adventure was 'getting' a deer. I figured, since

    they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of

    me, (A bold one will sometimes, come right up and sniff at the bags of

    feed, while I am in the back of the truck,... not 4 feet away) it should

    not be difficult to rope one, get to it and toss a bag over its head,

    (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

    I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end, with my ready rope.

    The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They

    were not having any of it.

    After about 20 minutes, the deer showed up...3 of them. I picked out a

    likely-looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my

    lasso. The deer just stood there, staring at me.

    I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end, so I would have

    a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but I could

    tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

    I took a step toward it... It took a step away. I put a little tension

    on the rope and then received an 'education'.

    The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand

    there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action

    when you start pulling on that rope.

    That deer EXPLODED like a rocket!

    The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT

    stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I

    could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

    A deer... NO chance!

    That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no

    controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off
    my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me

    that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had

    originally imagined.

    The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other


    A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk

    me off my feet and drag me, when I managed to get up. It took me a few

    minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing

    out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for

    corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that creature off the end of that


    I figured if I just let it go, with the rope hanging around its neck, it

    would likely die slowly and painfully, somewhere.

    At the time, there was no love, at all, between me and that deer. At

    that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess... the

    feeling was mutual.

    Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots, where I had

    cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various

    large rocks, as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think

    clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared

    some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I

    didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get

    it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder... a little trap I

    had set before hand... kind of like a squeeze chute.

    I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope


    Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would

    have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised

    when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of

    my wrist.

    Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse, where

    they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its

    head... almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it HURTS!

    The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and

    draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was


    It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but

    it was likely only several seconds.

    I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim

    by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the 'tarnation' out of

    my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

    That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

    Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on

    their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and

    their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

    I learned a long time ago that, when an animal (like a horse) strikes at

    you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to

    do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the

    animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can

    This was not a horse. This was a deer... so obviously, such trickery

    would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different

    strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

    The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a

    horse that paws at you, is that there is a good chance that it will hit

    you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses

    after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because

    the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and

    knocked me down.

    Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not

    immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has

    passed. What they do instead, is paw your back and jump up and down on

    you, while you are laying there, crying like a little girl and covering

    your head.

    I finally managed to crawl under my truck and the deer went away.

    So now I know why, when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a

    scope, and stay as far away from that deer until they are sure it is
  2. NurseELB

    NurseELB Songster

    Oct 16, 2008
    Lacey, WA
    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]


    I read this out loud so the family could hear it. My DH was doing chores and left the room a few times. When he came back, DD and I were laughing pretty hard. DH, not hearing the entire story then says "why didn't he just shoot the darn thing?" Thus causing both DD and I to completely lose it.

    Thank you for the laughter. I needed that!
  3. Bantimna

    Bantimna Songster

    Sep 29, 2009
    South Africa
    Thanks for starting my day with a laugh! [​IMG]
  4. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast

    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    That there was funny, I don't care who ya are!
  5. Ga.chickenman

    Ga.chickenman Songster

    Apr 15, 2009
    [​IMG] [​IMG] Thanks for the laugh!
  6. EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
    [​IMG] [​IMG] That was my first thought was "why didnt he shoot it?"
  7. deb1

    deb1 Songster

    Jun 26, 2008
    Do deer carry rabies? You might need some shots.
  8. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

    Jun 8, 2008
    NE Michigan
    Actually, this isn't something I'd joke about. Up at Pigeon River Forest area near Gaylord, MI, us horse riders received some bad PR a few years back and had to fight to be allowed to bring horses because some yahoos got drunk and tried to rope the elk.
  9. SarahFair

    SarahFair Songster

    Sep 23, 2008
    Monroe, Ga
    Ive read this before..
    Its pretty funny
  10. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits...

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    OMG.. that was so funny! Thanks! [​IMG]

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