You really hit close to home here Cmom! And I think this is what bothers me so much about Annie's attitude. I firmly believe that this girl thinks the world owes her a living! I don't know how she came to believe this, as Denny and I have always been hard working people. Everything we have, we gained through the sweat of our brows and the strength of our backs. We're pretty strong folks, but neither of us is strong [nor wealthy] enough to carry her through her adult life. Maybe, if she were willing to pull her weight around our place, things would be different. Certainly MY attitude towards her would be!
While raising her, it was more important to us that she concentrate on her education. With great grades, we felt she would at least have a good shot at a scholarship to higher education. God knows, on a Coast Guard retiree's income, we sure weren't going to be able to afford it. [Especially not while building our dream home. We built it entirely on our own because we couldn't see paying someone to do what we were perfectly able bodied to do ourselves. Even if we'd had that kind of money] Perhaps that was where we laid the ground work for her notion that she's just such a special little snowflake!
So much for leading by the example of our own hard work.
She did get scholarships and grants to go on to college. She was even in a program in her junior and senior year of high school whereby she was taking classes up at the university that counted towards her degree, free of charge. She was definitely on the fast track towards a rewarding future. Then, in the fall of 2012 the wheels pretty much came flying off of her wagon.
There wasn't just one thing that caused it....I'm still not sure what happened, but, in a nutshell, she finished her winter quarter by the skin of her teeth and didn't register for the spring quarter. She's been working in the deli department of a local grocery store ever since. And now, things aren't going well at her job and she's in jeopardy of loosing it.
The up side to that is that she's talking about going back to school to at least get her Associates Degree. She was only one math credit away from that when she dropped out! It's so frustrating!
To see her that close, only to put it all on the back burner!
This kid is sooooo danged smart academically speaking. She could be ANYTHING she wanted to be. But, Annie has a number of fatal flaws. She's lazy, for one. She also has a real self confidence block. Despite repeated encouragement from us, she lacks confidence in herself that she can do these things. I don't know where the heck she ever came by that, but, there it is. Personally, I think her problem is really based more in fear of failure than anything else. After 20 plus years of urging her on, we're just too dead dog tired to do any more.
If Annie were the kind of person to jump in and help out around the homestead without being asked to, we'd probably be willing to let her come back home, while she gets her life back on track. But she's not and she doesn't. And that can get my temper up in a heart beat!
Example: Back in September, we were hit with a massive wind storm. We had what we refer to as an epic pine needle event. Denny and I put in 15 hours each in cleaning it up. Annie had come over before the storm hit, with the intention of doing her laundry. Before she could put even one load through, we lost power. So, she spent the night at our place.
In the morning,I asked Annie to vacuum the downstairs floors [power had come back on sometime in the night] She was laying in bed, reading, when I asked this of her. Denny and I had already been at the clean up for well over four hours at this point. I was going to be traveling to the western side of the state in two days and I knew I wasn't going to have time to do the vacuuming myself. So, I asked Annie to do it. Not a big deal, right? Right! Her reply was: **with a heavy sigh** Yeah.....maybe....if I feel like it....I'm kinda tired.....EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?
Long story short, she finally hauled her lazy butt out of bed around 4:00 in the afternoon, took a shower, made a mess in the kitchen and then came bouncing out of the house, car keys in hand, prepared to leave. I asked her if she did the vacuuming like I asked her to do. Nope, so sorry. [Of course not!] And she just had to run because her friend needed a ride to work!
She actually had the audacity to wonder why I was mad!! The girl is completely clueless!
Now, as I prepare the house for the holidays, complete with a three night stay of family from the other side of the state, she makes promises to come over and help me out. I ain't holding my breath! NO sir! NO ma'am! She's made three promises in just the last week and a half and each one has taken a back seat to her friends and their needs! If she hasn't figured it out by now, she probably never will.......and I'm just too tired to explain it to her!
