Selling eggs - me being lazy.

[Wifezilla]

Will this help?

"It has been scientifically proven that only losers with body odor and bad complexions eat store-bought eggs. Farm fresh eggs raise IQ points, whiten teeth, freshen breath, and increase charisma. Hatchery hens are not actually chickens, but enslaved aliens that have been harnessed to provide egg-like pods containing mutagenic compounds allowing the government to tap in to your brain and force you to listen to Brittany Spears music and become addicted to reality TV shows."

 

[TheOLDNewChick]

Wifezilla - brilliant! Just the post I was looking for. Thank you! I'm going to print copies of that statement to paste on my egg cartons.

 

[JennsPeeps]

Quote:
You forgot to add the bolded part.

 

[TheOLDNewChick]

I knew something was missing.

 

[Wifezilla]

You're right. My bad. I also forgot to add

"The American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association and the Health Department recommend you eat plenty of store bought eggs to ensure you are dependent on plenty of expensive prescription medication."

 

[byrandom]

And the 9 out of 10 dentists, dermatologists, pediatrists, podiatrists, opthamologists, optometrists, neurologists, chiropractors, and even the Surgeon General ...

 

[Wifezilla]

Dolphin Safe

Do not use as a floatation device

 

[TheOLDNewChick]

"This is an egg. It is comparable to the size of the average persons brain that eats store bought eggs as opposed to farm fresh. Store bought eggs also induce rapid weight gain in women, and muscle loss in men."

 

[Wifezilla]

"Side effects of ingesting store bought eggs include impotence, monsterism, and the condition known as 'hotdog fingers' "

 

[TheOLDNewChick]

"You will, over time, begin to notice your arms shrinking. Long term effect has been known to result in stumps."