Seriously need to vent and need mom support

[HeatherLynn]

They just diagnosed my daughter with failure to thrive and I am P'd off. Seriously. So she was born a month early and very small( 5lbs) but she has grown, very active, great eater, skunked all her miles stones big time. She was doing everything months and months early. She was sick for 2 weeks with the runs and vomiting and everything else under the sun and lost weight. Next appointment she had almost gained it all back. Just a couple ounces shy. they are worried she is not gaining. I explained she had been sick which they should know because I brought her in like a half dozen times. Anywho they gave her a month to gain more and come back. We went for a funeral in Ma and ended up everyone getting a tummy bug BUT she still managed to put on a full lb and grew 1 3/4 inches. Instead of being happy she did so well. They sent me for tons of blood tests on my poor baby and labeled my 18 month old as failure to thrive. so one down appointment is apparently cause to think a child is not thriving. What crap.

Seriously I am just furious. They refused to listen to anything. Refused to measure her length which was one of their arguements since they had forgotten to. Well I didn't and she grew. Nope instead they threw horror stories of waiting another month to do tests and it may be too late to save her and not doing what they say is essentially neglect. So I took her to have her blood drawn. They only blew out her vein like 3 times. That was at the specialty hospital because the pediatricians nurses refused to even attempt to get blood out of the vein on a child that age. Flipping wonderful.

So my 18 month old who is 32 inches and 21 lbs is labeled on her chart failure to thrive and I am looking for a new pediatrician. Her sister went from 100th percentile at birth down to 15th and they never blinked. My 3rd percentile child is lingering between 10 and 15 and they pull this crap on me. The dr knows I have panic attack issues and tries to use terror just so I will not question anything they do. I am furious. I am in tears i am so mad. its cry or hit someone and the dr is not here to hit.

 

[satay]

I would not be to concerned about one doctors opinion. Wait for all your blood results to come in to see if there really is any need for concern. You as your childs mom knows whether she is doing well or not. My son is 14 and very tall and thin people often comment he is too thin. Well thats just the way he is ..

 

[HeatherLynn]

I have a new doctor lined up already, just waiting on the stupid tests to come in. The fact that ticks me off is that this whole over reaction is due to her being down slightly in weight after a severe 2 week illness. They are refusing to use any sort of logic and when I ask a question they go into scare tactics and threats.

I started seeing a DO who is going to take over as our pediatrician also. I have had such good luck with them listening and explaining rather than getting the " I am God" attitude. I just wish docs got that moms might know a bit more than they think. We are only with this constantly from birth on. It makes sense we would be able to track them a bit better and have some input. That and I don't like being bullied just over a question. It got my Irish up big time.

 

[bt03]

At 18 months my daughter weighed in at a whopping 25 pounds and now at 10 she is a health 58. She was just fine despite what the doctor said when she was 18 months. After being scared out of my mind because "she is to small" we got got lucky and went back to her original doctor and have never been scared again. Some pediatricians like to scare people into doing what they say instead of encouraging you and telling you that you are doing good and that all kids are different and will grow and develop different. Her doctor now is the one she had when she was born (he moved out of state for about a year, hence the other crappy doctor) and since he has been back he tells me she is his best patient. She is still really thin for her age group but he says she is always going to be that way and that she will be just fine. Get that second opinion and I bet they will tell you that you are right about her being just fine.

 

[mom'sfolly]

My younger kid has always been between the 15-25 percentile for weight and 95th for height. One check-up we went in and it was 5th percentile. The doctor asked a few questions, and I explained that he had recently both had a fever and gone through a growth spurt, both of which always thin him down. The doctor looked at him, says he's otherwise healthy, and that was it.

With the skinny kids, it often takes very little for them to lose weight. A fever, a tummy bug, teething, etc. What you need is a doctor that will listen and figure out what is going on. I don't think the rush should have been for blood tests, but a simple appointment in a month or six weeks to determine if it is the factors you as a parent see, or what the doctor fears.

At his a physical two years ago, when he was turning 8 and weighted less than 40 pounds, we asked about car seats. The doctor said 80 pounds or 4'8", I looked at Sam and said, "dude, you're going to be the only person in your driving class in a booster seat". We all laughed. He is still well under 80 pounds, and is pushing 5 feet and is almost 10.

 

[melodie_a]

We are in the same boat here. My little stringbean Has hovered between 10 and15 percentile her whole life. She is 13 now and healthy as a horse. We were lucky to have a great group of pediatricians i even remember one visit where one of them told me to please not let anyone tell me she was too skinny because she was perfect just the way she was. They have always been very supportive and they take my opinions in to account every time. Find someone else for your baby... It is such an important relationship, it isnt worth it to hang around with someone you are not completely comfortable with.

 

[Mrs. Turbo]

Quote:
My son turned 3 in April and weighs 27 pounds and around 4% on height.... He wears 2T clothes and they are a little big. They never said much about it. What DR do you see in town?

 

[HeatherLynn]

We drive to Louisville which up till now has worked. I usually go to louisville just so I can go to the hospitals I like.

Have gone to them for the last 10 years. Just seems like the last few years there has been a change in how they view things. Everything is by the charts and not by any type of common sense. If the 10 year old is off the charts for height and weight about equally they still want the weight down. based on his height he could probably afford to lose 10 lbs. They want more like 50 lbs because a boy his age...... at this point i interject that they don't even have his height on the chart for a boy his age. I am told thats not the point. his is 5'1" right now. He is going to be heavier than they like or he is going to be a skeleton with the weight they want. I suggest somewhere in the middle. That nutrition and excercise rather than diets should be the focus and that we need a common sense weight goal. We never did come to an agreement. Compromise to them is what the parents do, not the doctors. I eventually gave up. We are 8 lbs from his ideal for his height according to cdc chart I found and we will work according to that till I get him with the new doc. Now I have the little one on the other end of the spectrum and am getting frustrated even more.

I tracked her on the scale from the CDC and she went from the 10th last month to the 50th in height and in weight from just under the 10th to the 25th in weight. They have the same weight and height figures I am using, so why are we seeing things so differently. If she is gaining and growing and moving up the chart, even if its slower than they wanted. If its still in the acceptable ranges and she is surpassing every developmental milestone why are they doing this? Why try to label her. She is not a chart and she is doing things on her own schedule. Is that so hard to comprehend for them? They would not even listen which is why I got so bloody angry. They just threatened and bullied. Just really got me irritated.

My DO was making some calls today and hopefully she has some suggestions on doctors for me.

Curious where you go to. My nieces go to some in town and have tried talking me into going to them. I just want any pediatrician I see to agree the kids go to Kosairs, Jewish, or Baptist East. Its the ones I am most comfortable with and its important to me.

 

[Momagain1]

wow...I think your doc is overreacting! I'd hate to see what they did with my 5 1/2 yr old!!

She JUST got out of 3T clothing, she is in 18 month/24 month shorts!!! She is a size 8 toddler shoes...
she'll be SIX in october...she weighs WITH clothes on; for the last yr between 30-33 lbs...

I think you are correct in getting another doc...I for one, would NEVEr stay with a doctors practice that wont
answer my questions...and only throw in scare tactics...Remember something many people forget;

DOCTORS WORK FOR US..WE dont work for them...

 

[Carols Clucks]

Doctors can be very frustrating! Especially ones that do not listen to a word you say and yet know it all



My youngest was a "failure to thrive" baby

I had gestational diabetes and the diabetes doc refused to talk to the ob/gyn. She even claimed to have no idea who he was (at the time the acting head of one of the hospitals....) she of course was a world renowned (sp) expert on diabetes. I gained 6 pounds in the pregnancy, left the hospital under 130 lbs the day after he was born, he was full term but had stopped developing due to being starved the last last couple of months of the pregnancy. He was just under 6lbs and had a minor birth defect as well.

He was nothing but skin and bones and due the birth defect and being weak, he did not nurse well. It would take an hour to feed him 2oz of formula after trying to breast feed him.

He would cry until he was just too tired to cry anymore. He caught every germ in the area and was constantly sick. He rarely wet a diaper in his first few months.

He only gained 1.5 oz in his first month

He WAS a "failure to thrive" baby!!!

That is very different from a baby who has picked up bugs from other siblings but is still growing. I hope you find a doctor than can recognize the difference.


My son is 18, still does not eat hard foods and dislikes nonground meats (has a hardtime swallowing it even all chewed up)

I should ad, when after a month I KNEW he needed more help than the doc did. I called and really gave the front end nurses a bad time demanding he actually call me back. He asked if "I felt like I needed more attention at home" and that was why I was making all of this up. As the smoke was fuming out my ears, I said I was off to the hospital to have them weight him and then we would know if he was gaining....suddenly he wanted to see him asap. He ran lots of tests after seeing I was right and at one point thought he might have CF