Seriously need to vent and need mom support

[Mattemma]

I would get a copy of her medical records and then fire them.

If you are comfortable with your child's progress you should not tolerate that sort of behavoir from hired healthcare professionals. I would immediately find a new medical practice that was more inline with my thinking. Some people prefer to do every test in the book just in case.Some do not.It does not make you a bad mother to question the medical orders.They are afterall just guessing hence the tests.

I have switched doctors. I hire I fire.Life is to short to stay with jerks. You need to find another and stop going to the jerks.Never go back again. Just fuels their fire.Be wary though as they will call social services on you,so do hire another(better) doctor right away to prevent neglect charges.

It will feel good to fire them.

 

[mikensara]

I have a friend who has twin girls at 11 months there is a stark contrast between the 2 girls while 1 is growing right on target and hitting the milestones the other child is half her sisters size and doesnt even attempt crawling yet.
my friend travels for hours to see specialists and has therapists coming in and she voiced her concerns when the girls were about 2 months old and was told it takes time to wait and see.
You have a ped who wants to be proactive just calm down and let them do what needs to be done.

 

[HeatherLynn]

I have a couple calls in already. The plan right now is to go with another pediatrician. Once they took my voice away in this whole process and resorted to scare tactics and bullying I was done. Its a done decision now. I am waiting on the call on the tests. As soon as I know that they are completed so they will be covered under insurance I will switch out the kids primary care physician.

I have a tracking of her weight and height on the cdc chart and she is on the 25th and 50th percentile lines. She was on the 10 and 15th. Yes my other kids all were in the 100th percentile at this age in height and weight but she is not them but her own person. I already spoke to another pediatrician who said that she did not see any cause for these tests based on her record. The initial doctor had miss read her file and I pointed that out when i called and instead of saying oops, they ignored everything I had to say and bullied. Thats what I feel anyway. I know the first physician was incorrect but considering we had a room full of students we were hesitant to question much. big mistake on our part. once they made the diagnosis even on bad info they are sticking with it.

Our regular pediatrician already tried the sales pitch and reasoning with my husband. The unemotional one and my husband just was having none of it. He was right there through all this and knew they were wrong. The only reason any tests were done which was a bit taumatic for her was because anytime you disagree they say " and not doing this could be construed as neglect" Just insane. Anywho thanks for letting me vent. I am off to call my first and second choices in replacements and see who can take on 4 more kids quickly.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Some doctors are bullies and feel that their word is holy writ. Don't put up with it. Doctors don't know everything. They are often just making educated guesses. If you feel uncomfortable with them then it certainly time to go. Once you have your child at a new doctor that YOU feel comfortable with, make sure you tell the old doctor's office manager exactly why you quit them. There is no reason for bullying tactics. None at all. You won't be the only patient of his to hate his arrogance. Feel free to spread the work amongst your friends too. Word of mouth is how most people find their doctors.

Do make sure that you get her into the new doctor so you have it on file that she is fine. That way if the authorities come calling you will have backup.

 

[sumi]

Quote:
Relax, love, doctors and clinic staff don't always know what the hell they're doing. Then they pretend and freak people out. I had this idiot doctor sent me to hospital to get induced when I was about 7 1/2 month pregnant. My plumbing leaked a bit, you know, I had a bloody big baby in here kicking my bladder, but I was wondering... He didn't even examine me, just packed me off to hospital. Thankfully the staff there had the sense to do a simple quick test and reassured me. I wanted to come back and kick the crap out of him.
Sounds like you are doing a great job with your baby, so go to another doctor and remember: She is your child, you know her better than them, you have this amazing mother instinct as apposed to their "I'm so clever, you listen to me". Don't let them make you feel otherwise, o.k?

By the way your doctor sounds like an *****

 

[HeatherLynn]

He called a bit ago. Just to let me know that the tests came back and he knows I think they were an un needed trauma. He them said, " we as doctors know so many scary things that can go wrong we tend to go overboard, we just don't have mothers intuition to rely on." He admited that I was right though about the height not be measured again. They just assumed the first day that she had not grown without even measuring. Anywho all her tests are of course normal. He finally let me give him a bit of family history and explained where I think things were miss understood. He refused all that yesterday. I told him over and over there is a high chance its gentics. I was in the same boat till I was 6. My mom was raised in Europe. She had to go to a special hospital because they felt she was so small. We were both fine and it all sorted itself out. Our genes were just not average I guess. So after listening he then finally says, you know i think this is all genetics too. She perfectly healthy and developing on schedule so there is no need to worry for now. Granted he reserves the right to freak out every time she loses any weight. Ummm no, we are not doing this over and over.

I think he knows he went wrong with me. She will be seeing a new doc shortly anyway.

 

[sumi]

I'm glad you got him sorted. And I hope you get a nice, professional doctor this time round. He really shouldn't use your weakness to freak you out like that and make him look important. Really, that is pathetic.
And like I said: you are her mother, you spent a lot of time with your baby. You know her genes, her medical history, everything. They have to listen to you. You can't just walk into a doctor's surgery and be happy with what they tell you just from seeing her for a few minutes! Especially as you said they didn't bother doing their jobs properly.
I know a woman who took her child to our local clinic and they said the child was fine, they sent her home and her child died.
My father died in a smart private hospital. No-one bothered to check why he suddenly couldn't keep food down. He had an ulcer. It burst. They discovered that during the autopsy. We've been unable to get hold of his doctor afterwards. I wonder why.
So, good on you to stand up for your child and say this is bull****. You should tell her doctor why you are leaving him, maybe he'll take care in future. And please tell him that I've known a few people who got killed/nearly killed by doctors. I hear "scary things" about doctors all the time! Bloody hell, he's got me worked up now.
I hope next time you post you will tell us you got a great new doctor and you and baby's are happy You deserve it!!

 

[weeders n feeders]

I'll give you my scenario. When my daughter was an infant she kept getting ear infections. Take her to the dr and they give antibiotic. Wit ing 24 hours of the first dose my baby went from being a little fussy and irritable and running a fever to a screaming, untouchable, inconsolable being. And no more fever. This would continue until 24 hours after the last dose. This happened repeatedly. DrS kept changing meds and in addition to the cannot touch her fits she occasionally broke out in a rash which I was told was not an allergic reaction. After they suggested either tubes in her ears or maintenance antibiotics i'd had enough. I talked with the dr and asked if it was true that most ear infections were viral. Yes was the answer. And antibiotics don't do any thing for viral infections? Again yes was the answer given. Then why is that the first thing done - give antibiotics. Because without a culture there is no way to tell. And if we wait for a culture to give the meds then it may take longer to cure it. If viral it will go away on it own usually in there days but if you wait there could be damage to the ear drum if it not viral.
Well we stopped going to pediatrician. Switched to homeopathic and herbal remedies. All ear infections were cured within 2-3 days. And stopped altogether within just a few months except for a rare few. Her hearing is perfect and she has survived to be a pretty healthy 16 year old. We haven't had an antibiotic in our house since she was 6 months old.
Doctors often just guess and always strive to cover their butts. If your gut tells you something is wrong get a second opinion before following something you don't feel is right.

 

[HEChicken]

I think they place way too much emphasis on charts and figures, and not enough on the overall health of the child. I experienced the same frustration with my DD. She was never even ON the chart. However, she created her own little curve just below the chart but most of all, she was HEALTHY. In her first two years of life she didn't have a single cold, or any other illness for that matter. Yet each time I went for a well baby check, they made me feel like a terrible mother because she was so small. She was breastfed and got as much as she wanted as often as she wanted. She started on solids at the right age. She ate wholesome foods, and was not even offered junk food, ice cream, soda, cake, sweets etc. until she was a toddler and even then it was when attending birthday parties for friends - not at our house. It was when the nurse at the well baby clinic sent me home with a list of things I should add to her diet to help her gain weight, that I realized they were a bunch of quacks and stopped going altogether. I took the list and went home to read it and found that every suggestion involved adding either fat (in the form of butter or cream) or sugar, to her diet. Sure, those things might have helped her gain weight but I wasn't looking to make my child fat or have her gain weight with empty calories. So I realized I had been given bad advice and just stopped taking her there.

Incidentally, she is now 16, an inch taller than me, and still doesn't weigh 100lb. She remains super healthy, having had only a handful of colds in her entire life. She gets a perfect attendance certificate almost every year at school because she is so healthy she never misses school! And, I consider her lucky that with her physique/metabolism, she doesn't have to worry about her weight the way so many of her peers do.

Don't be afraid to just say "I'm the mother and I know what's best".

 

[HeatherLynn]

I think part of my problem right now is I have let things go down hill with the pediatrician for too long. I am used to my own doctors not listening and not getting the correct care I needed. So with the kids I found one that was the best I had found and initially was great but when things started to change I was unwilling to change and risk a doctor that would listen even less. Now however I found a doctor who is listening and its made a huge impact on my health already in a very short time, so maybe I am thinking that a change for the kids too is overdue.

If they no longer listen. If they have changed from common sense to chart addicts, maybe this relationship has lasted a bit longer than it should have. I still like them but I don't think I feel the same level a trust because of how this was all handled. They could be right that the tests were necessary. I am still not convinced because they never listened. If they were right they would not have felt the need to bully in my mind. They know me well enough by now to know that the kids come before everything else in the world. I catch strep before their tests usually do and have them there so dang fast so we can get the cultures started. I am not one to wait until its severe just to avoid the trip to see them and I drive an hour to get there so its not an easy thing at times. So why go the bully route. If they listened, if we got all the facts straight and they could look at me and honestly say these were needed then there probably would have been no issue. They didn't take that route. They won't bully me out of my advocate for the kids role. There were already doubts in my mind because of past issues and this pushed it over the edge. The older kids are a bit upset at the thought of a new doctor because they have gone to these their entire lives so this is all under discussion right now. I am not as angry now but more hurt I guess. I need to trust my pediatrician. In my mind I am trusting them with the most precious things I have. A bit down about it now I guess.