Thank you for explaining, I didn't see it this way at all. You seem to have given much thought to the ethical aspect ! I suppose when you do your own dispatching you can't escape it.The few injured pullets that I dispatched tasted great.
It's more of an emotional reason. I know people want pullets and I feel bad dispatching a perfectly good one. They don't cause any problems. The boys cause lots of problems and make it easy. The 16 wks boys dress out around 5 lbs, (10k) and girls below. The cockerels will feed me for the week, but I need 1 and a half girls. So I have to take another life.
I'm sorry that you are not feeling better. It must be hard morally as well. I hope you take confort in what you still can do which is more than many.Thanks for asking but still fatigued after an hour or less. Trying to plant potatoes this week. I work a half hour and my back complains. Then I take a break.
Derailing the thread about potatoes : I usually plant them with my partner. He digs a line with a fork hoe, I put the potatoes in and add manure + compost, he digs a second line to cover the potato, then we start over. When I'm on my own, planting this way kills my back, I can do only less than an hour at a time as well.
Last year I helped a single friend plant her potatoes and she uses a different tool, a hoe with a very long handle meant for earthing up (not sure what it's called, tool on the right below), to simply draw a line, then put the potatoes in, and cover them by hand. It's much, much less tiring for the back. ( But it doesn't give the soil a good dig like my partner's method does).
Happy birthday Janeka! I hope you gave her birthday treats "with moderation"

Théo, potato tax