I'm very sorry about your cockerel, luvinrunnin. That is too bad, but it is evident you loved that bird and wanted the best for your bird. I'm sure the bird knew that and appreciated you very much.
It's so hollow and haunting not to have my chicken around. I have no children-- had my first pregnancy at 46 and lost it to a miscarriage-- and this chicken was like my child, raised from a chick, so it's like a repeat of that other trauma. I know it was hard on the neighbor who was babysitting Easter for me, too, because he gave me this chicken and knew how very fond I was of her. I can only imagine how terrible he must have felt finding her dead on Day 1 of his 11-day watch.
He thinks God allowed her to die while I was away so I wouldn't have to see her dead body myself. He said he thinks I wouldn't have gone on the vacation had she died while I was still home-- I'd have been grieving too much, and that is probably right. I'd have worried that her sister would also succumb in the heat if I left.
I just hope she didn't perish due to lack of water or overheating. I could have taken care of those things and helped her survive if that was all it was-- I'm sure of it. I kept a close eye on her every day. I feel bad that I didn't think to ask my neighbor to always make sure both entrances to the coop and run were open if he let the hens out to free-range. I'm afraid she may not have wanted to go into the run where the water and watermelon were via the hotter coop entrance. She always entered through the other door to the run. Maybe the change confused her and caused her to dehydrate.
There was plenty of water under the woodpile for the cats where she often drank, but maybe out of sight, out of mind. When I was home I always took bowls of water and watermelon and set them by the chickens on hot afternoons, wherever they were hanging out, so it was readily accessible to them without them having to move far for it. Perhaps I pampered them too much in this way, making her overly susceptible to this death. I had closed the door to the front porch so the watering system for the garden wouldn't get the floor wet and rot it while I was away, and she often loved to come in the porch and hang out, and that wasn't accessible to her, either.
And then I wonder whether my not being there to remove the cat food when she was let out did her in? She always made a beeline straight to the catfood bowl, and cat food is bad for chickens, so I always moved it out of the hens' reach. Now I wonder whether she really chowed down on it that afternoon to make up for lost prior opportunities to do so, when I was gone (I had put out a lot to tide the cats over while I was gone so others wouldn't have to feed them every day) and perhaps she gobbled too much of it for her system.
Somehow her sister survived, and I always thought her sister would be the first to die, but I was wrong, as usual. I guess all these What Ifs won't get me very far. Just wanted to let you know I appreciate your support.
Have a weekend business trip coming up in November and I sure don't want to go, after this.
