Sick duck... in need of help please!

[amartinez]

I'm so sorry. Everybody grieves differently but when I lost my first pet as a kid my mom just held me and dealt with my wailing for HOURS... looking back on it I'm surprised she didn't pull back and say "whoa... chill out" but she just held me and it helped a lot. I know a lot of kids grieving books say that its helpful to hold little pet services for the kids' bereavement. Memorializing a pet is so so helpful, but everyone is different so maybe ask if that's something they'd be interested in and see what they think?

Finally, when the time is right, maybe approaching getting a new duckling. Maybe hold off a bit to give the kids space to grieve, but later on the excitement of a new pet + holding space for Muffins' memory could be a really helpful combinatory experience for your children! Years ago when I was 23, my childhood dog died. we buried him in the yard, gave him a little service, and planted flowers around his grave. A year later, when we got a new pet, we brought the new guy over to Bruiser's grave and "introduced" them. Even as an adult who doesn't believe in much spiritually, I found that really REALLY comforting. Also, having a physical space to serve as a touchstone of sorts for a pet or a person can be really helpful emotionally. I know if I ever have a really bad day, I can go "talk" to Bruiser outside by the pond.

Again, I'm so sorry for you and your family's loss. It sounds like you all gave Muffins so much love and such a wonderful life. sending lots of hugs

Thank you for the comforting words and advice. They mean more than you know.

 

[citymeetscountry]

First off, I’m sorry for your loss.

Not knowing how old your kids are I can’t give specific advice. Mine are 5 and 7 (almost 6/8). We got baby chicks in August and my son’s (7) favorite didn’t make it but 3ish days. It was really his first experience with loss. I realized that morning the chick wasn’t likely going to survive the day and I prepped him ahead of time but it still hit him hard. He cried a lot. I tried to hold space for him and allow him to grieve however he needed to. I reminded him that he loved and treated Pecky well while she was alive and he gave her a good life. We talked about the circle or life and how everything will die at some point. He wanted to burry her so I made a coffin out of a juice box container and he decorated a rock and we dug a whole. They still acknowledge her occasionally when we pass the rock.

In January we had to get rid of our cockerel (my favorite) bc it attacked our 5 year old. There were lots of tears (mostly mine...and the 5 year old). They understood that he wasn’t being rehomed.

We’ve also had several lizards and crawdad die on our watch in the last year.

All of it is bittersweet. Beautiful to walk alongside them in their grief but horrible none the less.

Be honest and be present. If they want to talk about it allow them to. Maybe see if they want to draw a picture of their pet. With the cockerel the kids wanted me to make a slideshow video of him.

 

[416bigbore]

So Sorry for your loss, how sad.

 

[Moreducksplease]

I am just so sorry about your duck.

 

[amartinez]

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/allthemoms/parenting/2017/09/18/pet-loss-child-grief/34914811/
since I am not a parent myself, here are some parenting-specific some ideas!

thank you. this was very helpful.

 

[amartinez]

I am just so sorry about your duck.

Thank you. I have shared the responses from you all with my kids and they have really appreciated that "people really care". Really appreciate it.

 

[amartinez]

I am just so sorry about your duck.

Thank you so much.