So DD 5, in SK got picked on

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by MeatKing, Sep 22, 2011.

  1. MeatKing

    MeatKing Songster

    How her story goes, never heard from school yet..

    Her and her 2 friends were trying to catch a frog.. Older kids came up and told them to stop..

    Little kids, my dd and friends kept going...

    Big kids, starting throwing grass at little kids..

    They all yelled at them to stop..

    Big kid, a boy came and bent back DD fingers, at witch point little kids ran for moniter.. Montier asked DD to show her what kids did this..

    So DD gets off bus, and says there should be note, blah ,blah, blah happened today.. No note, no nothing... So I am upset cause I only heard one side.. She said she knows the boy, from Summerday care... He's a grade 2 or 3

    What's going on here.. DH says teach her to kick him where it counts, the only way she won't get picked on is to stick up for herself? What do you think?

    I grew up in a very small town, where I was realated to half the kids in school.. You didn't mess with us, cause we all have an older cousin ready to kick butt.. I know this sounds bad, but know one messed with us.. So now my kids are not realted to half the town.. And this kid hurt her.. I sure wanna teach her, this is how you put him down.. He won't mess with you, if you do.....

    Ahh what's the right way.. I told her she did the right thing and told teacher... And left it at that
    Their only SK... Wow does ones motherly instecnts kick in when someone picks on your child!!

  2. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    I would put the hurt on his PARENTS! In a meeting, letting them know that you will not tolerate their child, OLDER and a BOY physically hurting a younger female. You can judge from that meeting which way you need to go. How they react. A parent came to my door once and told me my son, who was 10 at the time, threw dirt in their daughters face. He was grounded for a month and believe me that kid never did anything like that again.

    Some parents really do care what their kids do.....
  3. eenie114

    eenie114 Completly Hopeless

    Quote:X2. Chances are that the parents will not tolerate this. Of course, if they don't care, that's a whole 'nother can of worms and may need to be taken to whatever higher power there may be.
  4. Sonoran Silkies

    Sonoran Silkies Flock Mistress

    Jan 4, 2009
    Tempe, Arizona
    Since it's too late now, first thing tomorrow eiter show up or call the school and ask about the incident, how it was handled, what is being done, etc. THere may have been a note that was left in your daughter's desk, fell out of her backpack, who knows? Or there may not have been.

    Yes, you need both sides of the story. For example, the older kids may have thought they were being mean to the frog, might have forced your daughter's hand open to let the frog loose. Or could have been bigger kids deliberately picking on littler ones. Or something in between.

    Once you have a more complete picture in your mind of the incident, you'll better be able to decide how to handle it.
  5. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
  6. Acre of Blessings

    Acre of Blessings Canning/Sewing Addict

    Apr 3, 2008
    Axton, VA
    If you can sorta mix up debiraymonds and Sanoras Silkies post together....I think you'll come up with the right way to solve the problem.....but I will say....I have 4 daughters and we have taught them all to stand up for themselves mainly when a boy is taunting them.

    No boy has a right to even be touching a girl while in school and if this is happening then there possibly needs to be more monitors during play time and I would also suggest that the older kids shouldn't be anywhere near the younger ones during play/lunch time.
  7. zippitydooda

    zippitydooda Songster

    Apr 23, 2010
    Ottawa, Ohio

    I know EXACTLY how you feel. You want to protect your baby, and at the same time, you want to scare the living you know what outta that kid.

    Probably a bad idea though.....

    In our school district, we have a zero tolerance policy. Unfortunately, BOTH parties end up getting punished because the powers that be don't bother sorting it all out. They figure it's easier than listening to "he said", "she said" stuff and taking sides. Personally, I don't think that works either.

    I'm in favor of contacting the principal and parents of the other kid. Most people are decent and want their children to get along in the world. If the parents aren't supportive of correcting the situation, give your daughter permission to DEFEND herself. If someone puts their hands on her, tell her to push them away and yell. If they continue, kick 'em where it counts. At least THAT kid won't ever touch her again. If she is going to get punished for being in that situation, she may as well have made an impression on the other kid.

    I am NOT a fan of violence, although I do study karate to DEFEND myself. Not everyone in this world is nice. I hate that.

  8. herfrds

    herfrds Songster

    Jan 11, 2010
    Go through proper channels. Talk with the teacher, principle and the parents. If it happens again be ready to teach her how to do a nut cracker.

    My DS was picked on. Even when a kid smaller then him punched him twice and DS threw him to the floor and sat on him telling this kid to leave him alone my DS was punished. I called the parents I knew of his classmates and spoke with the parents first to see if their kids told them anything then I spoke with their kids. Got a completely different story from the kids then the superintendant told me. It matched my DS's story.
    Started teaching him self defense shortly after that.
    So far 1 kid has gotten hit with 2 nut crackers and leaves DS alone and another kid ended up with a bloody nose after sucker punching DS in the side from behind.

    Also got a different superintendant for our school.
  9. SarahBeth9394

    SarahBeth9394 Songster

    Aug 23, 2008
    Teach the girl to defend herself. A swift hard kick will do it. The thing is schools have set up a zero tolerance system so that those who defend themselves will get in trouble as well. They are being taught to tell the teacher (yard duty attendant, or some adult in authority) when someone is bothering them. But there are so few supervisors out watching the kids that it ends up being tattletale time to the adult and they don't listen and issues don't get nipped in the bud. So your better off having your daughter stick up for herself and end the issue and the worst she'll get is a free day in the form of a suspension.

    Trust me. Been there. Done that. And if we don't teach our kids to defend themselves when they are young they won't have the tools to deal with life as an adult.
  10. mom'sfolly

    mom'sfolly Crowing

    Feb 15, 2007
    Austin area, Texas
    Man...I think everyone needs to take a deep breath....

    First, find out what happened. Yes, you believe your child, but most stories have more than one side, and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Kids seldom tell the stories that put themselves in the worst light. Often a "he kicked me" comes down to something more like "we were fooling around on the couch, and he put his legs across mine, and I pushed them off then he put them back on me". He bent my fingers back might mean something far different that what most of us think when we hear this.

    I suspect the older child thought she was hurting the frog, or knew that touching frogs on the playground was against the rules. When she didn't let go, he may have tried to make her. Should he have touched Should she have been messing with the frog...maybe not. Or did she grab him, and he take her hand off him? Find out.

    Then look at your options. Personally, I don't think teaching a kid to kick another in the nuts over something like this is warranted. I also don't like the idea that because it is a boy/girl thing, it is somehow worse than if it had been boy/boy or girl/girl. I think with elementary school children, especially that young, the whole boy/girl thing is kind of silly.

    Just a different perspective, to let you see how the story might play out....Second grade boy comes home from school, after a call from the nurse's office. The boy tells his mom how some little girls were hurting the frog, and when they didn't stop, he tried to make her drop the frog. She kicked him in the groin so hard that he fell down and had to go to the nurse's office. Little boy says "I didn't hurt her, I just wanted to help the frog, why did she hurt me so bad?"
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2011

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