So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[3goodeggs]

Deerman, I really do hope that you see improvement. I worry that you might lose your hope. I want you to try and enjoy the now. every day.
I worry for you the most. attitude is everything. I did not read the $150,000 thread, it made me think you'd given up, and I could not read it. I hope you are planning a wonderful vacation...with the understanding that when you get back -life goes on.

Ginny, I have days of anguish and days of determination, and yet, I still feel so guilty that they felt I was 'bad' enough to punish. It is quite common when the distant sibling isn't the child blamed for them getting old, he gets to be the good guy. The special child, the golden boy. I have hired an outsider to do the actual 'caring.' but I was programed to be responsible for them.
They reared me to be the 'whipping boy' and I feel guilty for avoiding the whip. I deflect what comes in, but I need to purge the gunk already there.

CM, It makes me glad to see the girls working out. poor icee needed a home like yours. When the pollen is over and the bronchitis is really gone and I can get outside and play...we are going to the pound dog shopping. I hate shopping. I will want them all. I told my husband and son that I will wait in the car and they can bring their best prospects out for me to meet. I kept waiting for God to plop one in my lap, but the timing was bad, as it all turned out. so It all works out for the best.

 

[Lunachick]

Quote:
Jan - I truly hope you can manage to get that negative crap out of your system. I understand the "guilt" thing, but YOU have the power to do this for YOU. Did you every try any self hypnosis? Perhaps you can locate a very good hypnosis CD and use that at night - every night. And then put on your bubble

I wish I could help more.

 

[Lunachick]

Quote:
Well!! Howdy do!

congrats on your 7 yr all clear!!!

Welcome back too!

 

[Wynette]

Hey, Luna! Hey, all!

I just wanted to pop in & say hello to you all & send this -

to ALL of you.

 

[3goodeggs]

Quote:
Jan - I truly hope you can manage to get that negative crap out of your system. I understand the "guilt" thing, but YOU have the power to do this for YOU. Did you every try any self hypnosis? Perhaps you can locate a very good hypnosis CD and use that at night - every night. And then put on your bubble

I wish I could help more.

I try to just force it out of my brain...then i feel guilty for THAT! I need to reprogram. I have not been out and about to look for that sort of thing. I have gone to a real live hypnotist, and he has helped a lot. but it is still hard to walk away. it just isn't who i am.

 

[jeaucamom]

Quote:
Well!! Howdy do!

congrats on your 7 yr all clear!!!

Welcome back too!

THANKS!! I can't tell you how nice it is to be back! How are you doing???

 

[CoyoteMagic]

jeaucamom---Glad to hear that things are going better for you and Congrats on the 7 years!!

Deerman--remember only positive energy. You are going to be fine!! Those kids need you around for a good long while!!

3--you are NOT a whipping boy, you are one of the most wonderful people I know! Always here to give support when it is needed most and I love you for it! Get yourself a journal, find yourself a place where you can just relax and let the memorys come. Write down whatever you are feeling, how you feel now, how it made you feel then. When you are done, pull the pages out of the book, take a match to them, releasing them to the 4 winds, and say a prayer of thanks and forgiveness. Thanks for the lessons you have learned from the experience, and forgiveness not only for the people that hurt you, but for yourself because you don't deserve to hold on to this guilt any longer.
"Shopping" makes me sad too. If only I could take them all home. Remember, Puppy Sighs.

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Sighs of the Heart
"We've been back to this animal shelter at least 5 times. It has been weeks since we started all of this." The woman told the volunteer.

"What is it your daughter keeps asking for?" she asked.

"Puppy size!"

"We have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."

"I know. We have seen most of them." she said in frustration.

Just then the young child came walking in the office.

"Well, did you find one?"

"No, not this time." she said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed.

"You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a fresh supply." the volunteer said.

The young child took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I bet we'll find one this weekend." she said.

Over the next few days both Mon and Dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular.

"It's this weekend or we're not looking any more." Dad finally said in frustration.

"We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either." Mom added.

Sure enough they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now the young child knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.

Tired of the routine, Mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted.

The young girl walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."

It was the last cage on the last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.

"Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy.

Mom, startled by all the commotion, came running. "What? Are you sure? How do you know?" she asked.

"It's the puppy sighs!"

"Yes, it is the same size as all the other puppies you held the last few weeks." Mom said.

"No, not size . . . sighs. When I held him in my arms he sighed." she said.

"So?"

"Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me 'Love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sighs!'"

The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug her child she did a little of both.

"Mom, every time you hold me I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms." she said.

Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart."

(author unknown)
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[3goodeggs]

thank you.

 

[Lunachick]

Quote:
Hi Wynette!! How are you??