So....talk about.....CANCER SUPPORT THREAD !!

[wsmith]

Wow where do I start?!?!

All of you are such an inspiration to me. I hope to be as strong as ya'll in our families battle with cancer. Let me tell you about my mom.
She is strong, calm, caring, loving, The woman and mom that I aspire to be. She will be 50 on August 23rd. Two years ago she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer. It had moved to her lymph nodes under her arm. After countless bouts of radiation, chemo, mastectomy, they finally said she was in remission. She has been in remission for a year. Last month my mom got pneumonia, they put her on antibiotics and thought nothing of it. Then a week later her leg started hurting really bad. They took blood work and found that she had elevated white blood cell counts. They did an immediate scan and the news we got was not what we were expecting. They called her into the office and calmly told her that her cancer had come back as lung and bone cancer. She has a softball size tumor in her left lung and her hips,legs,spine, and shoulders are ate up with cancer. They have given my mom a year to live and are only working to prolong it for as long as they can. she does one hour of radiation 5 days a week, takes 8 chemo pills everyday, and a shot of chemo once a month. I dread the day that I will have to explain to my 6,4,and 2 yr old that grandma has passed away. I find strength in my Lord and knowing that she will live pain free and with her mom and dad when she passes but that does not take all the pain away. I figure I am still in denial, I believe that thru a diet change, prayer and lots of love that she will get better but the doctors have told her that it is impossible to get better from this.

This is my story and I am praying for all of you that I have read about.

Hang in there. My wife has tumors in her bones and lungs as well. We watch every day for any fever at all that would indicate an infection. Be prepared to support her. (see previous list with all 1's). Though we don't have grandkids, all the little kids in our lives know that "Nanna Beth" will eventually go to heaven. We don't hide it, but use it as an opportunity to teach and help them cope early on. Help them help her, and by doing this, it teaches them compassion and love. Just my two cents.

 

[chickensnewtome]

I am terrified to explain that to them. I have a sense that my 6 yr old knows. He comes crying to me all the time talking about how he does not want g-ma to die. I just say that I know sweety we just have to keep praying. I read the list with all the 1's. I love that list! He did a great job putting into words what I try to explain to everyone.

 

[wsmith]

I am terrified to explain that to them. I have a sense that my 6 yr old knows. He comes crying to me all the time talking about how he does not want g-ma to die. I just say that I know sweety we just have to keep praying. I read the list with all the 1's. I love that list! He did a great job putting into words what I try to explain to everyone.

Thankyou. I hope it can be of some use to you. My youngest was 6 when neth was first diagnosed. She will turn 18 in November. She doesn't remember a time when her Mom didn't have cancer. Having a spiritual base helps when it comes to explaining and embracing the facts that accompany cancer. Each situation is different, and has to be approached differently. I'm sure you will find a way to help your kids understand and be supportive of their grandma.

 

[richarddhoward]

Ugh, this thread is both awesome and terrifying...

My father is 3 years into a battle with cancer, and I lost my grandfather in 2008 to the same cancer. Dad has prostate and kidney cancer, the prostate cancer has spread to his bones, and the kidney cancer spread to an adrenale gland that was removed, as well as the kidney.

So Dad and I are spending more and more time together, we are closer than we have ever been, and I help out however I can. I was working in Tennessee in 2010 when we got the news Dad was cancerous, and in 2011 I was laid off. I had a decision to make, I had offers for work in states far away from my beloved home, and I had been roaming the country for college and work since late 2008, I was tired of moving, and packing, unfamiliar faces, new places, and was ready to come back to my home. I spent a few months in South Carolina with my lovely lady Alissa, a hometown friend turned relationship I had reconnected to, and she deployed overseas with her AF unit, I packed up and headed home to help out the parents. My sister also has a mental disease that makes her ineffective as a reliable person, to put what's going on nicely. So I was much needed, and greatful to be back home. I help out any way I can, and where I can. Grandma is approaching 90, and Dad is at this point terminal. We are just kicking the can down the road with treatment, but doing the best we can. He hurts a lot, and can't do much anymore. This has greatly affected my Grandmother, who will probably be there when we put my Father into the ground next to his father, my hero of a grand father. Spending time with her, and helping here is a huge part of what I can do to help out Mom and Dad, as Grandma worries to know end, and has no understanding of new technology, I get new information much faster then she would, so when Dad goes to Seattle for a surgery, I go hang out at Grandma's and relay messages as I get them. Which greatly comforts her, and eases the burden on Mom from having to step out and make 10 phone calls to Grandma.

Grandpa, I was blissfully unaware of the issues, until I lost him, and got that faithful call in 2008 he had passed away. I am not making the same mistakes this time with Dad. I was just 21, and cared about me, I couldn't have given two shakes about what was going on outside me and freedom of the world. So I lost valuable time to learn and experience things that only Grandpa could have taught me, including things like raising chickens, which he had done when he was small during the Great Depression. The only highlight I have to my experiences with Grandpa, he taught me how to work, and he taught me to make your own success. He would run circles around Dad and I on any project, and daytime or night time, if it needed done, it would be done. He was a self taught engineer, WWII vet, and he worked hard to give his family what he could not have. He built rooms onto his home, because he needed more room, he wired the house, he did it all.

Cancer is evil, but sometimes the things that come from cancer can change you in the most positive of ways. I now run my own business, as well as work full time for a local company, and that wouldn't have happened with out cancer happening. I also spend so many more hours at Grandma's, helping out, and relaying messages, and who doesn't love being spoiled by Grandma! Let alone, the stories I may never have heard if I wasn't there using my gift of gab to take her mind endlessly somewhere else, then this dark abomination of cancer and my Father's battle with it. I learned a lot about those around me, and that I need to be involved in my family's life. I will always be there for my family, no matter the time, place or need. And do what I can. All of you touched by cancer, directly or indirectly have a huge war to face against cancer, fight the good fight, help when you can, and always have a reason to smile. If death is the only solution for the end of suffering from cancer, because you can no longer stave off the consequences of cancer, then remember the good times. Because there are many, many good times, even though cancer brings so many bad times to life. Never give up, and there will always be a good time to be had in there.

I hope I have offended know one, and sorry for the ramble, but I have a lot to say on cancer, and prevention, some of it politicized, and I am trying to avoid that, some of it preachy, again avoiding that, I am just passionate about it, and I want no one to suffer at this evil hand of cancer, so thanks for reading, and by all means, Chicken on!

 

[3goodeggs]

You have learned to live outside of yourself. Some of us learned it early, some never do.
Death is our only certainty in life. What we make of life and ourselves between the start and the finish is a very dynamic and plastic opportunity. Change is a good thing. It forces us to be what we need to be.
However, Do not lose yourself. When we become what someone else needs, then we are not our true selves. Pace yourself. Remember to enjoy the moment, the 'now'. Not every 'Now" is enjoyable, but when we spend our lives looking forward into the unknown, we forget the 'right now's.
They have college in Washington. People who love you do not want you to abandon yourself. Trust me.

 

[ginbart]

Lunachick, I had so many things I wanted to say but what I know is, God is with you and a positive attitude is what you need. Hugs and I will be praying for you.

 

[richarddhoward]

You have learned to live outside of yourself. Some of us learned it early, some never do.
Death is our only certainty in life. What we make of life and ourselves between the start and the finish is a very dynamic and plastic opportunity. Change is a good thing. It forces us to be what we need to be.
However, Do not lose yourself. When we become what someone else needs, then we are not our true selves. Pace yourself. Remember to enjoy the moment, the 'now'. Not every 'Now" is enjoyable, but when we spend our lives looking forward into the unknown, we forget the 'right now's.
They have college in Washington. People who love you do not want you to abandon yourself. Trust me.

I finished my degree in Montana, and I do live how I want. I will actually be going back to school for another degree soon here in WA, just to clarify. I really do enjoy helping family. And to add on, my father is actually my adoptive father, as well as my mother. I also know my biological mother, and have two lovely sisters by her, so moving home wasn't strictly based on my Father's issue, I also have younger sister's I would like to spend more time with, and often do. I don't think I have lost anything by helping family, or moving back here. I love my job, my business, seeing family whenever I want, the weather, and seeing my best friends all the time, let's just put it the correct way, I don't sleep much lol And I am loving it. It was a good change for me, as I was being a little destructive to myself being on my own so far away. What also helps is that my Adoptive Mother is into a lot of the same things I am, outdoor wise, and I reconnected with my Boy Scout troop, and am proud to be volunteering my time with them.

As for the certainty part of life, death is definitely part of it, but so is change. Change has been good, and I am still doing changing things, and I love it!

 

[3goodeggs]

That's great! You have a good attitude. You also have a fortunate family.

Maybe a call home was what you had needed.

My son just got back from Boyscout camp, And had a great time. They have a welding merit badge now, and he loved it.
He is diligently working on his eagle. Much has happened lately that caused the sponsor to drop their troop, that it is disconcerting. It is nice to know that younger folk like you are still giving back.. ALL kids deserve the chance to become more rounded people. I wish more people would support it instead of jumping ship.
But, that's another soap box.
My best wishes to you and your family.

 

[richarddhoward]

That's great! You have a good attitude. You also have a fortunate family.

Maybe a call home was what you had needed.

My son just got back from Boyscout camp, And had a great time. They have a welding merit badge now, and he loved it.
He is diligently working on his eagle. Much has happened lately that caused the sponsor to drop their troop, that it is disconcerting. It is nice to know that younger folk like you are still giving back.. ALL kids deserve the chance to become more rounded people. I wish more people would support it instead of jumping ship.
But, that's another soap box.
My best wishes to you and your family.

Thank you, I wish more people my age were interested as well. Tell your son to get his Eagle and good luck, he will never regret it. We too, have dealt with recent issues in Scouting, I will tell you I am a lot more left leaning then most of those in my troop, so I had to bite my tongue a little, it was the Church that sponsors us however that has had an open mind and eased our fears that they were going to revoke our sponsorship, and gave some great ideas for moving forward.
That's another great memory I have with my father, we went together to scouting a lot, and he almost got his Eagle, but has regretted not ever since.

 

[3goodeggs]

Biting your tongue you say. I talk with a lisp now. Apparently the church that sponsored their troop felt that it was better to bail. But other troops are recruiting the displaced scouts. Hopefully everything work out.
Hey!, he just walked in with his dad carryng an auto darkening welding helmet, so I see stuff made of metal in my future. Oh, sculpture!
Garden art. Hot dog!