social phobia/extremely introverted

[chooketychook]

Hi crazy chicken people =D
Thought id start this thread to see if theres anyone else out there like me,ill try and keep this short,I suffer from a bipolar disorder aswel as anxiety and social phobia/extreme introversy,online im fine in reality I could happily live on a small farm surrounded by my husband,kids and animals it would be absolute heaven.. but life is not that simple we have to interact daily I find having my chickens and the whole buying and selling process has really helped with my social skills,at the same time my chickens do a brill job at keeping me company =)
Anyone else prefare animals to people? X

 

[Souperchicken]

I have social phobia. I actually really like people and being around them, but it is harder for me to make friends than the normal population and remember social graces. I married an extrovert and that has help me learn some social manners. It is much easier to just hang out with the the animals, because it is in my comfort zone. I don't have to hold a conversation and try it think of what to say.
Because I like people so much, it has been very difficult to accept that im this way. Things that come naturally for others, doesnt for me. When in a group and feeling uncomfortable, I often feel like I am on the "outside" looking in at everyone enjoying conversations and talking. I will think of something to say but don't know how/when to say it. By the time i figure it out, I realize the moment had passed. I've found it is sometimes better to keep quiet than show I don't know how to interject with comments. Sometimes my words come out backwards or switched around and i get a funny "lisp" when I'm nervous. It is embarrassing for me to have people see that I don't feel comfortable speaking to them. I usually just nod and smile, if I know i am feeling uncomfortable.
When I was younger it would take me several days to get over a painful encounter with someone. I've gotten over that now, thank goodness.

It took me over an hour just to type this post. That is one of the reasons I don't respond very often to posts on this site, it takes me forever to write them.
I wanted to take the time to write this so others would know they are not alone and the anxiety does improve with practice, just like you were saying about dealing with chickens. It seems the more I interacted with people and put myself in uncomfortable situations, it gets easier over time. The less I do it, then I tend to fall back into same comfort zone,
I feel for those who have social anxiety/phobia. It can be very painful.

 

[chooketychook]

Hi lovely to meet you,I could have written that myself,I always get my words twisted around in a "freestyle" conversation and I still have that horrible feeling when ive messed up my words it plays on my head for a while sometimes I cant sleep over silly things as the embaressment leaves me overwhelmed,I find that when im in a situation where I have to conversate with people I can do well to the point I think wow we could be friends,then it kicks in and I avoid that person like the plague making up 100's of excuses as to why I cant meet up or speak on the phone with them,its a really selfish disorder and really limits you,at the same time I absolutely LOVE being on my own with my own thoughts and just being confortable I think if I hated it then I may be able to have got help with the anxiety,its weird because some days I look and think wow I wish I could be that out going always knowing whats going on or knowing someone who can help with task like a plumber or builder ect..
I guess ive accepted who I am now but trying to convince that im introverted and this is how id like to live prooves hard I always feel like they are invading my space although im sure they just think im a loner and my space needs invading =\ but I wouldnt expect a extrovert to be forced to sit alone for the week with only the company of close ones and animals..

 

[Souperchicken]

Completely understand about the making friends part. I'm totally the same way. It just takes so much effort that it is easier to just do my own thing sometimes. But, I do like most people to "invade my space". I like to be approached,

I've always been curious about others social anxiety. Do you know what caused yours?
I have five other brothers and sisters and they all have the same issue to varying degrees. After much thought over the years, I've come to the conclusion that it was several things that caused ours. My dads side of the family has social/mental issues(inherited). My mother is very extroverted, but my dad would make fun and berate her after being around others and "embarrassing" him, I think this has made me ultra sensitive to how others perceive me. (Learned). And we lived in a very rural area and didnt interacted with others often.(environment). I think this combo pretty much sealed it for us.

I appreciate your post on here. These topics are intriguing to me.
How long have you had chickens? Is this a new adventure for you?

 

[chooketychook]

I love the way you broke that down and are able to see the possible causes,for me there is many contributing factors as a child my much old sister would joke and call me smelly toes or smelly breath just playful teasing but I guess I took it quite literally and from the age of approx 5 I would speak with my teeth closed incase I really did have smelly breath by the time I was old enough to realise I never had smelly breath I had a slight speech impediment from not opening my mouth when I speak,people found it difficult to understand me and id always have to repeat myself (this is the first time Ive actually looked back at this) I guess that made me paranoid about making a fool of myself speaking,I did how ever snap out of that and was very sociable through high school ect...I had my first son and postnatel depression struck it was downhill from there really,I wish I enjoyed having my space invaded just now I have came from sitting on the floor hiding behind the coop in the chicken run just so my neighbour wouldnt come through my gate for a chat,its so bad because I really like her and she has great topics to talk about but I just cant do it....
Good note yes my chicken adventure is new and I love it I dont think ive ever enjoyed a hobbie so much in my life,I love sitting with them at dusk before they go in there coops when there calm and come for a cuddle,im really hoping this hobbie teaches me some confidence in speaking,the otherday I sold a chick and thought hmmm this is a stranger she dont know me im going to act like a "normal" sociable person,and I must admit I done a good job =D I smiled for the rest of the day thinking wow what a achievement...sad but true =D
how about you how long have you had chickens?what made you start? What do you get from raising poultry/other animals?

 

[canada-goose]

I like people, but like you all I'm not much good at talking to them unless I know them pretty well, and get tired easily when trying to talk with strangers. And I'm really, really terrible at answering open-ended questions; they seem to have a magical ability to make my brain freeze up.
I find loud noises very irritating, too.
Needless to say, I'm not much fun at parties.

 

[Souperchicken]

I bought four chicks about 6 years ago. We had moved from a vey large, noisy city to a very peaceful, small town and decided to get them for the kids and me that first summer on a whim after seeing them at a feed store. I love animals and grew up with many, but no chickens that I remembered.
My husband built a coop for me and then a year later built another one so I could have more. I incubate eggs during the summer and give chicks to family and friends/neighbors and sell the extras. Last year I hatched turkey eggs. I love turkeys but they ended up costing more than we wanted to spend in feed during the winter, as it is my husbands slow season. Right now we have my second batch of Chukar in the incubator due to hatch next week. My husband uses them for his business.
My favorite part of having chickens is gathering eggs and the hatching process. I love hatching chicks! It is an amazing process to me and has strong spiritual and emotional undertones, with birth and death and basically little miracles happening before me. Many teaching moments have come with the children and myself, much further past basic animal care and how to treat living things with respect.
I also like to sit with the birds in the evening on occasion. It feels like it just slows life down for a moment and brings peace, especially if life is getting a little hectic. It can be quite theraputic, until one poops on me. Haha!

 

[Souperchicken]

Chookety, it is interesting what caused your anxiety. It shows when children are sensitive, certain situations can have a lasting effect. And the post natal depression being trigger, I have also found also that certain events can make things worse for me also.
I'm glad your chickens are helping! They really are theraputic.
Do your children like to help with the chickens?

 

[chooketychook]

I like people, but like you all I'm not much good at talking to them unless I know them pretty well, and get tired easily when trying to talk with strangers. And I'm really, really terrible at answering open-ended
questions; they seem to have a magical ability to make my brain freeze up.
I find loud noises very irritating, too.
Needless to say, I'm not much fun at parties.

Hi princess and welcome,I also find socializing extremely tiring again sometimes to the point in so overwhelmed and over tired I dont sleep,sometimes ill be washing the dishes and suddenly think of a better reply I could have gave to someone in a conversation I had days ago! I also hate loud noises they feel like someones drilling my brain I sometimes wonder if I have autistic tendencys...my son has been diagnosed autistic...

 

[chooketychook]

Chookety, it is interesting what caused your anxiety. It shows when children are sensitive, certain situations can have a lasting effect. And the post natal depression being trigger, I have also found also that certain events can make things worse for me also.
I'm glad your chickens are helping! They really are theraputic.
Do your children like to help with the chickens?

Hi superchicken,my first question is whats chuckar? Sounds interesting wow ive never actually seen a turkey I live in the city,a loud rat race city,thats another reason I have my chickens its my little bit of country peace,well it was until I realised the chickens attract the neighbours and there children =\
And children certainly pick up alot and are very sensitive in a way knowing that has been a curse because I tread in egg shells with my kids and overly spoil them to compensate for things I may have said without knowing that could cause them serious life consequences such as anxiety or a social phobia,I think for the sake of my children I have to snap out of it or ill teaching them to be unsociable too.
Saying that my friend who has been my best friend for 11 years wanted to come up today again I made excuses for her not come over and asked if she could come tommorrow,now im anxious about how im going get out of it tommorrow this has been going on for approx 6 weeks now,I love her company but I just cannot seem to want it,social phobia sucks,its literally disabling.