Some ppl need to be smacked! [rant]

[Cassandra]

Well, first of all, I will second the idea that some kids are going to hit regardless of their training. My mother raised three children. Two of us learned that voilence is abhorant. Our middle sister failed to grasp this. She completely lacked the impulse control to stop herself from wailing on someone who'd ticked her off--even though she knew it was wrong and was punished for it.

I babysat for a neighbor several years ago until I got so sick of her daughter picking on my son. They were about the same ages as in your situation--5 and 2. She was awful and would hit him or push him down with the least provocation. I brought this up with her mom all the time. She was "falsley" apologetic, but nothing ever changed. I started telling her I wasn't going to be able to babysit anymore. She kept coming over and asking. I finally just stopped answering the door. Even when they knew I was in there. I'd just let 'em knock & knock and ignore them.

I've never been one to be bothered, though. I have a very dear friend who complains of her other "friends" who will stop by unanounced and leave their kids or invite themselves to dinner. I completely sympathize with you.

When it doesn't come naturally to you, I understand how hard it can be to convince yourself that you are entitled to disappoint others from time to time. But you are! Even if you never turn into a mean old heiffer like me (who almost never gets imposed upon for anything LOL) you still deserve some peace in your own home.

Good luck. I hope it all blows over peacefully.

Cassandra

 

[DuckLady]

Do you think maybe the kid went crying to her folks that you yelled at her "for no reason, I didn't do nothing, SHE started it" and the mom didn't want to say anything to you, but they didn't want to bring their brat back to your house to be "yelled at for no reason" some more and the father just took the weekend off to avoid a confrontation to not risk the relationship between you and the wife?

I would say you should let the parents know how their kid behaved and they should have the courage to have asked you what happened and work it out and take care of their responsibilities as a parent.

 

[CarriBrown]

Quote:
Agreed. I'd drop them in a hot second and not think twice about it. I've done that before, too, and it ALWAYS works out better. Always.
If they do it to you once, shame on them. Twice, shame on you. Sounds like they've taken advantage twice in the past week. Don't let them do it anymore.

 

[pipermark]

Ok I want to ask all of you mommas a question.

If you know what she did, why did you ask her what she did? Its like you all like to set the kids up to get in more trouble!

I am 52 years old and I can still remember my mother using this tactic on us. The real joke is when we hemmed and hawed around she would get madder and madder, which would of course make us lie all the more, (its called survival its genetic so don't expect anything else), which of course raised her stress level through the roof, and eventually had her red faced and screaming like a banshee! (all brought on by herself).


As far as the rest of it, I can only speak from the experience of a child, having never been a parent , so I will leave that to more adult minds.

 

[jeaucamom]

Quote:
You beat me to it. This is exactly what I was going to say. I'll bet a dollar that she went home telling fibs about what happened and what a victim she was and that is why the dad did what he did.

 

[tiffanyh]

I was gonna say the same thing--and I am sure the story came out quite different.

I have disciplined my daughter by putting her in tie out and as soon as she gets out she runs and tells her daddy that "momma spanked her", or visa versa (she is a pistol!)

I am sure her story was skewed considerable, that is what most kids do,....and kids will be kids!

 

[sunnychooks]

Quote:
You beat me to it. This is exactly what I was going to say. I'll bet a dollar that she went home telling fibs about what happened and what a victim she was and that is why the dad did what he did.

And if this is what happened, the kid did you a favor. Don't sweat it.

 

[Break an Egg]

I think she may have said I was mean and yelled at her, but her parents are never consistent, and that's what a child needs. They need you to be consistent with rules and such because if they think they might get away with something, they will try it.
I know you can be consistent w/o yelling, but I flew off the handle.

I already knows this little girl is very capable of lying. We had a very scary experience where she popped open one of those stress balls, I told her to put it into the trash, but while her mom and I were visiting she squeezed out some of the "goo" from inside the ball and my daughter ended up eating it.

I heard her tell my daughter not to eat it and knew something was up, ran in the room and DD has already swallowed it. I knew without a doubt that that DD had eaten what had to be the "goo" But her mom said well the ball is in the trash. I asked the girl what Maya had eaten, but she said she doesn't know, but that it was poison.

This freaked me out, because I was sure that girl knew what my DD had ate, she just didn't want to get into trouble.

It took about another 30 mins for her to admit that she got back into the trash, after I told her not to.

IMO, I think she gets the lying from her dad, he is a huge liar. Sometimes, you may not think that kids will pick up behavior, but in this case the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

to texaschickmama: she is actually getting paid 4,000 for 3 weeks; 1 week in, 1 week out and so on. The rest of the time, her husband is not going to be at work. I swear he is so lazy, my DH works 55 hrs plus a week and only takes Sundays off.

I feel bad that it has come to where it is now, but I think I either need to say something to one of them, or cut all ties.

Thanks everyone for the good advise, I just think I am feeling a little guilty after how the dad has treated me, I know I don't have any reason to, but I guess I'm a little sensitive.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

There is a grain of truth to what pipermark says. I read somewhere that you should respect the rights of the child and not put them on the spot like that. As an adult, we are protected from incriminating ourselves by the constitution.

 

[DrakeMaiden]

Texas Star -- Don't feel guilty. I'd just explain to the parents that the daughter is not compatible with your daughter and that you won't be able to offer babysitting services. That may also discourage future visits.

Usually people who lie compulsively (which may or may not be true of the father in this case) have bigger personality problems.