Some ppl need to be smacked! [rant]

[sundance]

Has anyone considered that the child may be autistic to a point,If she is not Ithink I would just say to the mother i don't want to offend you BUT and explain the whole thing to her. If she is your friend, she will appreciate it, if not, Let her go and forget her, with friends like that you don't need enemies.

 

[Break an Egg]

The little girl is troubled, there was past abuse with a male babysitter, but the parents never informed authorities about it. The mom told me that the dad thinks the little girl should make her own decisions and do whatever she wants (this is his "style" of parenting) but really all it is, is laziness on his part, it's just so he doesn't have to have rules and stick to them.

I did feel that being over here is good for her because she is an only child and she needs someone to play with, but not if she acts like that.

I agree with writer of words, kids need to be held accountable for their actions, my daughter is, and she's only 2. If they are not held accountable, they don't learn the action-consequence tie. They end up doing whatever they want, and the parents will end up either enabling their behavior, or having to break some learned behavior, which will be so ingrained, it will be very hard to do.

I really think that I am going to have a talk with the mom once she gets out of the study monday. I will tell her how her DH acted and what happened when I watched her child. If she doesn't like it, fine. It's not as if I am so needy of friends that I will allow to be treated badly and used.

 

[mom'sfolly]

If this person deserts you because you tell the truth they are not worth keeping as a friend. She need to know how her child acts around other people. At 5 kindergarten is just around the corner, and schools will not, and cannot tolerate that kind of behavior. Lazy parenting results in kids who are unsure and do not know when rules will be enforced. Things that mom or dad allows one day might get the kid into terrible trouble the next. She is not your friend if she thinks that allowing her child to hit yours is ok.

That being said, I remember at time or two hitting a friend when I was a kid. When reminiscing a few years ago (we're in our forties now) we did a do you remember. She said she remembers me punching her and walking off (as do I), but she went on to say her mom said something along the lines of how she deserved it and if she didn't treat her friends better she wouldn't have any. With my kids we have to do a forensic investigation to find out what lead up to the hitting. Often with siblings you find out that there was a pesky escalation that ended up with hitting, or an accident or rough housing that got too rough.

I know that this was not your situation and the difference between 5 and 2 is HUGE.

 

[M.J]

good for you texas star stick up for your self and you poor little girl who keeps being wrongly used by the girl

 

[s6bee]

I haven't read through all the posts here, but I have a couple things to say.

First, at this point, I wouldn't go out of my way to say something to the family about the behavior of thier child. I would be honest though if they bring it up. You don't really don't konw what goes on in the home. Did she do this from watching Mom or Dad, watching TV or other kids she plays with? Or do the parents just lack the ability to dicipline when the kid misbehaves. Most kids will lie, cheat, steal and sometimes hit without being taught, but it's our job to teach them this is wrong. So who knows what she's learning.
I woulds say, I would not go out of my way for this family again. You can't put yourself or your kids on the line like that. They are just taking advantage of your hospitality and willingness to give. Don't bother anymore. That energy can go towards other things.
There is a good chance the friendship may be altered at this point anyway. Sounds to me like the little girl may have said a story to them.....

I had some freinds that we hung out with all the time. They had a son who was younger than my kids but he was ( and still is ) a tryrant. They never disciplined him ( and Mom's a teacher ), and he continued to do stuff. One day they needed me to watch him so I did. Well, this kid finally did me in....he threw an old metal cap gun at my son's head, narrowly missing his eye, but causing a big gash and an instant black eye. I took the toy away, and put him in time out in his room. To say the least, we don't hang out anymore, but I'm ok with that. Our daughters are best friends, and that's the only thing that makes it hard.

I hope it works out for you.

 

[Henrietta23]

Quote:
Not to make light of the situation, but I am really hoping you meant "time out" and not "tie out" Tiffany!!

In my experience working with kids and being the mom of a six year old it seems very difficult for them to see things from any other perspective than their own. I would be very concerned if this girl's reaction to something your daughter did was to slap her hard enough to leave a mark. Your child's safety is your primary concern here.

 

[cknmom]

I used to be a pushover for everyone. I was taught to think of others feeling before mine, so as a result I would be miserable in order to make someone else happy. I lived much of my like that as well as my first marriage. Some abusive relationships as a teen made it even worse.

I finally decided to take my life back and put me first once again. When I met my DH, he helped me to be strong again. I no longer let people walk all over me. I lost all my "friends " because of the "change in my attitude" I also made several family members upset.

Recently we had a house guest. We usually stay up a little later on fri. and sat. nights and talk, listen to music, have a few beers, etc. Houseguest came out to tell us to be quieter as we were being too loud and he could not sleep! Years ago, I would have turned the music off and went to bed to read, so he could sleep. NOT NOW!!! We went right on doing what we were doing and enjoying OUR home, Now and then DH would say" Oh, we better quiet down, we're too loud" and we would snicker. I will NOT change our schedule or way of life for someone that we opened our home to as a favor. I no longer care if I hurt someones feelings if they are doing something to make me feel bad.

We see so many instances that people are being treated badly by strangers in public places, but they say nothing! If a stranger treats us badly, we let them know how we feel about it and that it had better stop! They usually apologize profusely and try to make amends, they are not used to being called out on their behavior. People must stop being sheep and stand up for themselves!!
Sorry this is soo long and ranting, after spending so much of my life bowing down, it gets my dander up!!
Monica

 

[Break an Egg]

I agree, with everything said, I did get a call from them that I was not able to answer, I called back and they acted a little strange. My husband said that they were probably fighting with each other before I called, but I don't know. The mom said she would call me back and that was over an hour ago.

My dh says who needs them. I am beginning to agree myself.

Thanks everyone for advice and support.

 

[rufus]

Get over it. You tried to take care of the kid, and it was rougher than you thought it would be. When they ask again, just say you can't do it. Don't give any excuses.

Nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them. If this ends the relationship, so be it.

Rufus