Im so sorry, I understand how you feel. Yesterday I sold my paint mare that I raised from a yearling and broke myself. she was only 6 and I am pregnant and this pregnancy is much rougher then the first. I am not allowed to ride and wouldnt be able to really work and care for her till next fall. I am heartbroken and miserable right now. we have kept the old horse because my niece rides him in 4h and at least he gets some work. I just cant stop crying and I miss her so much. I wish so badly that I would have just toughed it out and waited until I was able again to work her, she still would have been well fed and had lots of turnout. I have never lost a pet other then threw old age and death. this is a thousand times worse. again I am so so sorry.