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That's great Debi. I sure wish my mother was thoughtful enough to ASK how she was doing. THAT'S good parenting right there, asking, and then listening. And while I'm here discussing my mother's dysfunction, I've also been posting about how great my father is over on my Father's Day thread, so I'm not just parent bashing, really. (I know you know that Debi, I'm just speaking generally here). We have great family members, and yes, some of us have lousy ones too. I like discussing all aspects.
This, right here, struck a chord. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my mom's behavior, and looking at her relationship with her own mother, and reading between the lines a lot. I'm pretty darned sure that my mom was just echoing the same attitude that her own mother demonstrated towards her. I also think my mom was overwhelmed by all of the work involved in raising kids, and was rebelling in her own way . . . against us. And when I try to imagine her taking a step back from her own issues and looking at her behavior objectively . . . I don't think she was capable of it. I think she truly had so much anxiety and issues with personal perfection that she couldn't begin to face the thought that she herself might be perpetuating the same painful pattern onto her own kids. It's really a shame.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if everyone was able to look at themselves objectively, make an honest assessment of their own actions? But it's scary, and it hurts to think that one's actions may have been harmful; easier to go with the established pattern, whatever it is. I think that's what keeps these harmful patterns going.
