Sourland in trouble

[thaiturkey]

Try my wife's car?

Thaiturkey, I'm a little simple, but I'm not stupid.

I didn't really think you would regard that as a good alternative. But check the inside of your own car during the next few weeks.

 

[sourland]

Check the car? I'm checking the sheets, my underwear drawer, all clothing - my greatest fear - Chuckie. Sourland is scared to death of Chuckie. He appeared one Christmas and then would show up to terrorize in the darnedest spots at the darnedest times. I finally constructed a funeral pyre and emolated him. I fear his return.

 

[thaiturkey]

Check the car? I'm checking the sheets, my underwear drawer, all clothing - my greatest fear - Chuckie. Sourland is scared to death of Chuckie. He appeared one Christmas and then would show up to terrorize in the darnedest spots at the darnedest times. I finally constructed a funeral pyre and emolated him. I fear his return.

If you find a snake in your underwear, check it carefully before you stab it to death.

 

[Spookwriter]

Like the Princess, my own dear wife (and daughter) have had to
put with things I have learned not to do again...

Just the other day, I showed my daughter her first crawdad...
by throwing her bedroom door open and flinging the crawdad
on her bed. At bedtime. Bet you never realized how loud 12
year old girls can scream?

But this one...This one I'll never do again.

Having just gotten a new halloween costume some time ago, I wanted to know if it was scary. I wanted an honest opinion. My
dear wife was asleep at 2 in the morning. I put my costume on
and woke her up by jumping on the bed and screaming. Judging
from her screams, and the crying, it was a VERY scary costume.
If she could of, I believe she would have beat me to death that
time. Once she calmed down, she was mad at me. Really mad.

Woman has no sense of humor at all.

And the time I found a nice fresh snake skin? I decided to "store"
it in the trunk of my wife's car. How was I supposed to know she would pick that day to go the grocery store? Now, you gotta understand...that one really wasn't my fault. She shouldn't of
opened the trunk...

I'm sure if I think about it, there's other things my wife blames me for. I don't know why.

But funny things don't just happen to the wife...they might even get to my Momma.

Years ago, we were digging potatoes. Dug us up a whole wagon load. Garden was at the bottom of the hill, mom and dad live on top of the hill. So mom was catching a ride up the hill in the wagon full of taters. My older brother had came over. Now, he's not a farmer type. I'm driving the tractor up the hill, mom in the trailer and my brother
walking beside us.

He ask's "What's this handle for?" and pulls it...

It was the dump handle for the trailer.

He had just dumped the whole load of taters, and our mother, in the driveway at the
top of the hill. Mom rolled a long way.

My brother didn't stay long that day...

 

[sourland]

If you find a snake in your underwear, check it carefully before you stab it to death.

Check it very carefully.

 

[thaiturkey]

Like the Princess, my own dear wife (and daughter) have had to
put with things I have learned not to do again...

Just the other day, I showed my daughter her first crawdad...
by throwing her bedroom door open and flinging the crawdad
on her bed. At bedtime. Bet you never realized how loud 12
year old girls can scream?

But this one...This one I'll never do again.

Having just gotten a new halloween costume some time ago, I wanted to know if it was scary. I wanted an honest opinion. My
dear wife was asleep at 2 in the morning. I put my costume on
and woke her up by jumping on the bed and screaming. Judging
from her screams, and the crying, it was a VERY scary costume.
If she could of, I believe she would have beat me to death that
time. Once she calmed down, she was mad at me. Really mad.

Woman has no sense of humor at all.

And the time I found a nice fresh snake skin? I decided to "store"
it in the trunk of my wife's car. How was I supposed to know she would pick that day to go the grocery store? Now, you gotta understand...that one really wasn't my fault. She shouldn't of
opened the trunk...

I'm sure if I think about it, there's other things my wife blames me for. I don't know why.

But funny things don't just happen to the wife...they might even get to my Momma.

Years ago, we were digging potatoes. Dug us up a whole wagon load. Garden was at the bottom of the hill, mom and dad live on top of the hill. So mom was catching a ride up the hill in the wagon full of taters. My older brother had came over. Now, he's not a farmer type. I'm driving the tractor up the hill, mom in the trailer and my brother
walking beside us.

He ask's "What's this handle for?" and pulls it...

It was the dump handle for the trailer.

He had just dumped the whole load of taters, and our mother, in the driveway at the
top of the hill. Mom rolled a long way.

My brother didn't stay long that day...

People can be so unfair when you're just having fun!

 

[sourland]

Spook, I had the Princess read your post, and she now concedes that I am a VERY good husband. Thanks for the help.

 

[Spookwriter]

Wait a minute...I think I resent that, Sourman.

I am a good husband. I have kept my wife entertained for years.

It's just that things seem to happen...Like that lazy Sunday afternoon
after church one time winter. She was taking a nap on the couch. And
I was bored. But I had just learned to sew.

So I sewed the sleeves of her dress coat closed.

We got ready for Sunday evening service, and she couldn't get her coat
on. I had sewed it closed where her hands come out.

No sense of humor at all...

And the time I bought her that new riding lawn mower...She had never cut
grass before. (useless city girl) She had NO IDEAL she needed to turn the
blades on. Being the good husband that I am, I didn't say a word.

She mowed the entire front yard without turning the blades on. I set on the
porch and watched her.

I let her figure it out on her own.

No ideal why she got mad.

And my daughter..she gets upset when her "boyfriend" comes over and plays
with me.

 

[thaiturkey]

Spook, I had the Princess read your post, and she now concedes that I am a VERY good husband. Thanks for the help.

Now you ca say to her, 'I accept your apology and will take you for dinner this evening'.

 

[Bunnylady]

Gotta admit, if anyone pulled a stunt like that on me at 2 a.m, it would be followed by a 911 call - for them. Maybe we left-handed women just got short changed in the humor department?