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First of all, congratulations on having the courage to share you writing with others. As a former newspaper reporter and editor, I know that the criticism of others can sometimes be crushing.

Second, I really enjoyed this story. I spent years writing countless hard news stories -- mostly just facts with less room for description and emotion -- and won a few awards along the way. However, I greatly admire your ability to express feeling and emotion in your writing.

Keep it up!
 
So, this one has some biblical parallels kind of like pilgrims progress or Narnia to it. Not a ton but a few just the same. Just letting you know. I dont want to offend anybody with it. I also dont know what the name is yet.



My eyes fluttered open and I scanned the room around me. I realized I was in a dungeon cell. Trying to stand up, I found that my legs were both fastened to the wall by a short, thick length of chain. I adjusted my position to be more comfortable and took a second look around me. My eyes had long since adjusted to the dark, pupils almost filling the iris, blocking out all of the golden color. It was just like any other dungeon. Dark and wet. My ears flicked from side to side as I listened to the rats scurrying here and there in the blackness. My hands had also been shackled together and try as i might, i could not free myself. I could only flex my fingers, protracting and retracting my claws. What had happened? I could not remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Bang, bang, bang!
“Sir! We’ve found one!”
Who dared to wake me at this time of night? I sat up in bed and gathered my thoughts together.
“Dr. Morsein! We got a Shiena!”
Now THIS was worth the rude awakening. My name is Phillip Morsein. I am the lord’s most trusted scientist and I had been working for years to capture one of these fascinating creatures. I threw my cloke on and pulled on my leather boots. I ran down the passageways deeper and deeper into the castle. My men had done good work. We weren't about to let this one escape. It was the deepest cell for her, it, whatever you wanted to call it. I stopped short at the last door. Peering into the darkness, I saw a figure huddled up in the corner.
Now, taking into consideration that you probably aren't educated in the animalia of Grovailia, I’ll grant you a bit of insight into what a Shiena is. Shiena are rare to the point of being almost mythical. These “animals” were always female from what I had uncovered. Shiena had the bodies of a human, wings like an eagle. Ears, eyes, and tail of a big cat. Their teeth also had some resemblance to feline anatomy. They have two, and sometimes four larger, sharp canine teeth. Sheina also have very sharp claws. They live to be hundreds of years old, even so, they are always incredibly beautiful, as women go, but do not let that small detail deceive you, for they are fierce warriors, and never fail to defend anything that they are set over to protect. Usually their protection was granted to the far northern border. What was across the mountains? No one was allowed to discuss that. Where they originated from was a mystery. What was their purpose back in the olden times? Could they have been as common as you or me? I don't know. All I knew was that they possessed some kind of magic. Some kind of power. I needed to unlock their secrets and that is why I needed one.
I stood in the passageway, trying to maintain my composure. This was truly a great moment. The dim figure looked up at me. I could see its eyes reflecting the lantern light like two glowing orbs of fire. I motioned to my men and they opened the cell door. After a while, I walked slowly yet deliberately towards the Sheina. She pressed closer to the corner and covered herself with a wing as I held up the lantern to get a better view.
“Do you know why you are here?” I asked rather gloatingly
I got no response. Slowly, she lifted her head to look at me. I could finally see her eyes. They were golden and fierce. They seemed to burn with hatred towards me. For the first time tonight, I felt unsure of myself. I took a few steps back. Suddenly, she sprang up at me, straining against the chains, wings spread, teeth bared, claws extended, a screech rang through the air. She struggled against her bonds as she tried to get at me. I fell to the floor in alarm and back crawled quickly away. My men came with spears and through much threatening to run her through, got her to quiet down and allow us to put her in chains and lead her through the halls of the dark passages. I did not trust her fully after that incident so she was not permitted to walk alone, rather, she had many escorts as we transported her to my laboratory. Once we got there, I had a special place for her, one of my own design.
 
The fields were hot at this time of day and because of the rain that had fallen during the night it was also steamy. Now that father was gone I had to tend the crops with Mother all day so that we could have food and money during the winter. We weren't exactly poor, we lived too close to the castle for that, we were just…well…underprivileged. With the amount of land we had, it would have been easy to grow quite a lot, but Grovailia had become sick and the weather was not as it should be. Sometimes it was dry as a bone, cracks would fill the ground and no water could be found. Other times it would rain for days on end and wash everything away. Father had not known what to make of this and I had heard him late at night, rustling around in papers he had gotten from his friend, the Duke, who had taken them out of the castle library. Father had begun talking about far away lands and magical beings and sweet waters and tall trees and a sparkling blue ocean that spanned out and away as far as the eye could see. He spoke of a King. A King who loved his people so much that he had sent the prince of this magical land, his own son, to go and rescue them from some dark and terrible place that was ruled by an evil and very powerful lord. The King's son had been captured and tortured while doing so, but just when the evil lord was about to celebrate his victory over The King, the prince had broken free and brought all the people who were willing to follow him, to paradise and to The King. When Father spoke of these things, I could almost picture everything just as if I was there. He spoke as if he believed these things could be true. They couldn't be true. Nothing so beautiful could be true. Besides, if everything was true, then to get there, you would have to cross dark and dangerous mountain ranges full of sharp rocks and crags and terrifying monsters. Also, why would anyone want to leave Grovailia? It was not as if it was a terrible place. I didn't know where the evil lord from the story ruled over but it certainly wasn't here. Father had wanted to leave though. Mother had not wanted to go with him and she wouldn't let him take me but he had gone just the same. He had tried to convince us that Grovailia was going to be destroyed, that we were all doomed unless we got over the mountains to the land of The King. Mother had not swayed to this nonsense so he left without us. Would we ever see him again? I didn't think so.
 
I apologize if it's a little rough. Its my 1st draft and i have yet to do a ton of editing.

Stuck in this cage woven of none other than tungsten chains that were charged with some sort of energy, I had been left in the dark. That was no problem, I could see just fine, but I missed the light. I hadn't seen the sun in over a week. I could now remember what had happened. Well, some of it. I had been sent on a mission. Infiltrate the Kingdom Worldly and bring someone back with me. Who? I didn't remember.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

5 years later:
The sky was gray yet bright though there was no sun. It had left years ago. It was normal at this point but with the absence of the sun there was an absence of crop growth and an absence of warmth. The people were forced to live on food brought by the lord's men. twice a week in a big wagon, it would roll through the villages. It was first come first serve. There was no even distribution. If you wanted to eat, you had to be there and you had to fight for it. No one ever got really truly hurt in these skirmishes. All weapons had been compensated years ago. Even farm tools were hard to come by, but even then they were dull and rusty.
Today was food day and the people that hadn’t starved to death were waiting patiently in the village square. People had learned by now that if they all wanted to survive, they had to share, that is, if there was any left by the time it rolled through. Wenden Village was the last town on the route so there was never much. After a while, The rusty metal wagon rolled into the town, through the parting crowd, and stopped in the middle. The Lord’s men, each over six feet tall, draped in cloaks made of shadow and brandishing long jagged swords forged out of hate, hopped down off the wagon. These were the lesser servants of the Lord, everyone knew. Timidly, a couple old men approached and climbed up. They threw what little was left, into the waiting arms of the woman who then began separating it into piles. When the last of the food was out, the men hoisted themselves out and quickly retreated. The Dark Ones, as the people called them, climbed back upon the wagon seat and cracking a whip upon the backs of the tired, bony horses, drove out of the square. As the people began to gather up what little food was theirs, a tall, skinny boy on the brink of being a man with one arm and wild, wispy hair, ran into the square.
“Oh, Elinor! Let me help you with those” He cried as he walked over to an old woman frantically trying to gather some radishes into her worn skirt. “You shouldn't be bending over, you know that!”
“Oh please” she scoffed. “Let a woman do her thing. I’ve been alive four times longer than you have and i’ve still got some life left ”
“Mmhm, whatever you say” he said as he bent down to pick up the radishes.
“What are you doing here?” Elinor questioned, “you know as well as I do that it’s not safe for someone like you to be out in the open.”
“I watched them leave, and Mother needs the food to be brought to her.” His green eyes lost their sparkle “She’s growing weaker every day.” “Anyway!” he said, brightening up “The Dark Ones wouldn't take someone like me into their army” Then he proceeded to wave his stump of an arm.
Elinor laughed then more seriously said “I wouldn't count on that. They are growing more and more desperate these days”
 
k, so. I ditched the other one due to extreme writers block and started another. This one seems to have so much more potential
I'm pretty sure i'm calling this one Attempt Infinity cuz it sounds cool at thats kind of it
I pulled my map out of my pack and examined it in the dim light of Averi’s glow. The star maiden had been kind enough to allow me to use it. John sat next to me, and Katoka, the large wolf, lay just outside the camp, her watchful eyes scanning the night. It was very dangerous in the canyon due to the surprising speed at which the Crushers could descend upon us. The map had led us here though, and I wasn't about to pass up another opportunity to find another strong station. It was even more dangerous to travel at night so we had stopped to make camp. No fires were allowed. The bright light would attract Crushers like a poisoned rat to water. Averi dozed as John and I poured over the map.
“The entrance is at the end of the canyon” John observed
“Let’s hope it’s still in working condition, I don't want to break into another SS again” I shuddered at the thought. It was very loud and took an excruciatingly long time to do.
When the Crushers, as people called them, had first contaminated this land, nobody knew what they were or why they were here. The answers were found fairly quick though. They were here to feed. Crushers work by attaching themselves to the ankles of people and rapidly growing upwards until they have completely taken over the host and control them by some means. The then large Crusher, after it has lived about three weeks, grows about a dozen baby Crushers in its abdomen and when they have become fully mature, dig their way out leaving the adult dead. They seemed to only enjoy intelligent species. Once someone had a Crusher dug into their ankle, they would begin showing signs of contamination in about three days and in a week…, they were fully transformed.
Katoka padded up to us and sat down next to John.
“I can hear them wailing in the hills,” She said. “There are hundreds of them if not thousands”
“How close?” I asked
“Two leagues at most”
Not good. I pulled a veil over Averi and we sat silently in the darkness.
 
I've taken a small break due to spring being around the corner and preparations needing to happen on the farm, but i'm working on being more consistent.
here's another part. Sorry for the wait.


TW: some reference to blood
My hand clenched around my sword and I could feel Katoka’s fur on end and John's muscles tense. I reached over and tap-talked onto his arm,
“Do you have what you need?”
He assured me that he did. That was a good thing. The last thing we needed was a crazy person shouting something or other into the night and alerting every Crusher within ten leagues.
Many years ago as John lay dying in a marsh, a water nymph had granted him life with the only condition being he was forever tied to the marsh by having to absorb mud. I had no clue how it worked. All I knew was that it did work and that's what mattered. He was rather embarrassed by the fact but it had to be done.
Katoka was in fact a shapeshifter who had been cast out and after many years running and surviving in the vast forests, had forgotten how to change herself back into a human and was now stuck as a wolf.
A faint blood curdling scream sounded from far away.
“It makes me sad” Katoka had once said, “to know they were people just like us once”
“That doesn't change the fact that they want us dead, it's kill or be killed now” I had murmured.
“Aye” She agreed “that is the way it must be.”




As the sun rose enough to see well by, we set off down the canyon, skirting stagnant puddles and dry brush until we reached a long straight stretch and at the end we could just barely see a tall gray wall with a small vault door in the bottom.
It was a strong Station. Strong Stations were small towns built in secure locations with strong defense against Crusher contamination breaches. We four had spent months traveling around from one SS to another gathering supplies and food. If it wasn't abandoned we brought news.
Slowly approaching the SS, we realized that it was abandoned. The door had been broken through and a wreaking stench wafted out to greet us.
John pulled the door open the rest of the way to reveal a long dark hallway with doused torches on the walls and a new door battered open every couple paces. Everything was made of metal except the floor which was the floor of the canyon. Every door had been forced through with extreme force and had suffered heavy damage.
“This is one of the most secure Strong Stations i’ve ever seen, how did it manage to fall?” Averi murmured
“This happened recently,” John warned “We should use caution”
Katoka stood guard as Averi, John and I started down the passage. It was dark until Averi whispered a few words and a soft gentle glow grew stronger until it was enough to see by.
I almost wished she hadn't done that. The light revealed dark stains smeared down the walls and dripping in long trails, reaching the floor and collecting into dry puddles. I didn't want to jump to any conclusions, but there were only two things that could be and it was most likely both. Crusher excretion and blood. Breaking through into the large chamber, I blinked and looked around. It was a huge dome with many shelters around the edge and a large generator in the middle connected to many lights and air filtration systems.
John walked over to the generator and began tinkering with the many buttons and levers as Averi and I began exploring the nearest shelter.
 
Due to my inablity to come up with a name for the main character, i just put "----" in the place where it WOULD be, so just fill it in with whatever you want as you read and i'll take any suggestions.

Ducking into the dark lean-to, I scanned the scene. An overturned dining set and shattered glass. In the dim light I could see there was a back room which I assumed was a sleeping section.
Averi crept farther into the shelter as I popped back out to help John with the lights.
“How’s it coming?” I questioned
“It’s all intact and should work if I could just reach that lever right-”
I Unslung my sword from my back and handed it to him. John reached up and pushed the lever with the weapon and the lights flickered on.
“Thank you,” John said.
“My pleasure” I nodded
“----! I found something!” Averi called from the back of the lean-to.
I slid my sword back and ran over to her as she walked out with a few papers clutched in her arms.
“These were on the cot”
“What is it?” i asked
“It appears to be a full account and record of the last few days before the SS went under siege” she murmured.
I closely examined the pages. The ink was smudged and ruined in many places but the last bit was still decipherable though it seemed to have been written in great haste.

“You can hear them in the walls, scurrying around and banging against the metal. The Master says we are safe, he says there is no way we can fall, but I'm not so sure now. My only regret is knowing i will be contributing to them, feeding their numbers, becoming one of them-”


Suddenly, a long howl came through the passage and a loud bang. The sound of running came to our ears and Katoka burst through the tunnel.
“Thousands!” She panted “coming down the canyon!”
 
same thing here. name is non-existent
John sprinted to the door and slammed it shut in time to sever a long wet tendril from some unfortunate being. It fell to the floor and began twitching.
Katoka stood rigid, head down and panting hard. John was braced against the door, grimacing as many Crushers threw their bodies into it, attempting to get in.
I sent a quick glance to Averi. She stuffed the papers into her satchel and drew her blades.
“We need the contamination exit.” I formulated “every SS has one.”
“Katoka!” she shouted “Search the west side, I’ll search the north, —---, search the south!”
Katoka took off across the clearing and I ran to the left and Averi to the right. I brushed my hands across the cold metal, searching for a crack or seam where a door might be hiding.
Bangs and screams echoed through the chamber. I needed to hurry. Backtracking closer to the entrance, I saw John. He was about at his maximum strength which wasn't good.
What wasn't good either was his skin had become a pale shade of gray and his head was twitching rapidly. I’d seen that before. He wasn't just in a battle with the crushers on the other side of the door, but also with himself.
He caught sight of me and through gritted teeth and in a voice twice as high as normal said “check the houses!”
I ran to the first house and pulled all the curtains down and tossed them out the door. There was nothing on the back wall and nothing on the floor. I was about to turn around and check the next house when a thought occurred to me. Why was the cot bolted down? It was the only piece of furniture that hadn't been ransacked.
“Katoka!” I yelled, “Come help me!”
She was there in a flash.
“I need to get the cot off the floor.”
She pushed her snout underneath and with a great heave and a bit of help, overturned it to reveal a trapdoor in the floor.
I dashed out to see Averi watching John as slowly, the crushers forced their way through.
“Averi, we need to get John to the first shelter” Katoka urged.
Averi took a step toward him and outstretched her hand. John whipped his head around to look at her. His eyes were glazed over and full of rage. He snarled and went back to fighting the door.
I drew my sword and cracked him in the temple with the hilt. He fell and Katoka dragged him to the shelter as Averi and I leaned against the door.
Katoka dropped John down the ladder and he landed with a thump on the floor.
Sure that he was not hurt, she ran back. Averi and I swung up onto her back and she dashed across the room to the first house.
The instant we left the door, the crushers broke through, screaming and wailing for all they were worth.
Crushers can run at immense speeds and it was by a hair that we escaped down the passage and slammed the trapdoor shup and latched the bolt.
We stood in the darkness listening to the mayhem going on above us until Averi lit up the passage. It was a long, dark dirt tunnel.
 

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