Stories

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by IloveBuffy, Dec 22, 2013.

  1. IloveBuffy

    IloveBuffy Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Dec 8, 2013
    Post your chicken stories here. Here's one of mine. Still a work in progress.




    One windy day, Eggy and her friends were running as fast as they could against the wind, getting absolutely nowhere. The wind had just forced them past Eggy’s house, and they were battling it to get to her back door. Eggy said, “Should we just give up? I mean, there’s a house right behind us, and if we don’t jump or anything silly like that, we’ll skid right to that house. We're giving a lot of outcome, and getting absolutely no income. Anyone agree with me?” Right that moment, Miss Eggness ‘flew’ into them, forcing them a few steps from their goal. She joined them and said, “Oh, Eggitha, Henrietta, Eggshell, Cluckifer, it’s you! We will make a line, hold each other’s wings, and then fly really triumphantly against the wind together to Eggy’s house, where we will play Who’s Proper and read the etiquette and drink tea and sew.” Eggy replied, “Miss Eggness, we would prefer to be called by our nicknames, which are Eggy, Etta, Shelly, and Clucky. And, logically speaking, chickens can’t fly. We just aren’t built for it.” Miss Eggness insisted, “I will consent to calling you by your assumed names. But, Eggy, you are wrong about the flying part. I just flew. If you say chickens can’t fly, then you are lying, because I just flew. Maybe you might say that you have studied the science of chicken wings, but you are wrong! Everybody who says chickens can’t fly is wrong! I just flew!” That convinced everyone except Eggy. But, since she did not want to be left alone, she half-heartedly joined them. And so they leapt into the air. They were soon swept away by the wind. A few terrifying minutes later, they bumped up against something hard. They found a hole in the big human door and ran inside. They were instantly seen by a human. “New chickens!” the human squealed. “I like new chickens.” And so the human shut them in. They turned around and saw 12 other chickens. They were all staring at each other. Eggy said, “I’m Eggy, and this is Shelly, Etta, Clucky, and Miss Eggness. Who are you?” A white rooster said, “My name is Percy, and I am ranked Dominant Rooster. I am an Aracauna.” Eggy said, “Oh, so you're an EE.” Percy said, “No! I am not one of those mutt EEs! I am a purebred Aracauna! If I was a mutt chicken, then I wouldn't mind being called by the Aracauna-Americana cross-breed’s PROPER name, which, as I am sure you know, is Easter Egger. NOT EE.” A yellow rooster said, “Oh, don’t mind Percy. By the way, my name’s Buffy. I’m one of the lower-ranking roosters. But I’m also Percy’s helper. I think I am going to be the head rooster when he gets invited to dinner. But I don’t really want to be head rooster. So much responsibility comes with it. And my breed is Buff Orphington, but I don’t mind being called by the breed’s abbreviation.” A grey rooster with a great big feathery white puff on top of his head said, “My name’s Polish. I’m a really low ranking rooster. I always come in last with Hattie so that none of the hens have to be last. My breed is Grey Polish White Crested, but everyone calls me a Polish Crested when they mention my breed.” A black rooster with a poof on top of his head said, “My name’s Hattie. I have the same rank as Polish. My breed’s Black Polish White Crested. Everyone calls my breed Polish Crested too.” Eggy said, “So the roosters’ names are Percy, Buffy, Polish and Hattie, right?” Buffy said, “Right.” A brown hen said, “My name’s Ava. I lay blue eggs, and I’m an EE. My rank is Standard Egg Layer.” One speckled hen said, “My name’s Speckled Jim,” and the other speckled hen said, “And mine’s Dottie.” They both said, “We are both Standard Egg Layers, we both lay brown eggs, and our breed is Speckled Sussex.” A black hen said, “My name’s Christmas, but everyone calls me Chrissie. I’m a Standard Egg Layer and my breed’s Australorp.” The rest said their names, breeds, and ranks. Eggy had to make a list in order to remember it all. It looked like this: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ROOSTERS Percy: Head rooster, Aracauna. Note: Don’t call him an EE. Buffy: Percy’s apprentice, BO. Note: Very nice rooster. Polish: Hen Herder, Polish Crested. Note: Seems responsible. Hattie: Hen Herder, Polish Crested. Note: Seems nice…. HENS Ava: Egglayer, EE. Note: Early riser. Speckled Jim and Dottie: Egglayers, Speckled Sussexes. Note: Team. Chrissie: Egglayer, Australorp. Note: Her real name’s Christmas. CoCo: Egglayer, Black Star. Note: Nice. Anty Banty: Egglayer, White Leghorn. Note: Has floppy comb. Connie: Human Favorite, New Hampshire Red. Note: Orange, not red. Shirley: Human Favorite, Partridge Rock. Note: Very nice, seems to know a lot about humans. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Eggy perched between Buffy and Shirley that night. Etta sat between Anty Banty and Dottie, Shelly was between Speckled Jim and Ava, and Miss Eggness sat on the edge of the roost, next to Percy. The next morning, they woke up to the human sliding open the door. “Buffy!” the human called. Buffy crowed and whispered to Eggy, “As if I would answer to that.” The human opened the human door and picked Buffy up. Then another, smaller human ran in the human door and picked Eggy up. Eggy screamed. “HEY! HUMAN! PUT ME DOWN! NOW!”’ The human said, “Bad chicken! Be quiet!” And the human put Eggy down. Buffy crowed right in the human’s ear. The human shrieked and dropped Buffy right into the snow. Buffy went right to chasing the humans out of the chicken yard. After that was accomplished, Buffy went over to Eggy and said, “Can you draw a picture of that scene? Don’t tell Percy, though. He’ll go crazy if he finds out. By the way, I saw your list. You might want to add that Chrissie goes broody way too often.” Eggy said, “Sure, Buffy, I’ll do that. Want to play a trick on Percy?” Buffy replied, “Sure! Like what?” Eggy answered, “Percy likes Miss Eggness. I could tell Miss Eggness that Percy would like to share the last bug of the season with her, and you could tell Percy that
     

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