Teacher calling for parent teacher confrence for my youngest boy :(

[feather and mountain man]

He has been struggling this semester and I think she wants to hold him back. He is only in the 2nd grade. I feel like I am not doing enough to help him but I don't know what else I can do for him. We spend 2hrs a night on homework and extra practice on math. Yet the reading and math still not where it should be. Last semester he was getting A's and B's. I don't understand what went wrong or what else I can do. I can't find any tutors in our area in our budget. So what am I to do. I really feel like I am failling my son. My older 3 kids are all straight A students and I have never dealt with this before. I can't even immagine how it will be if he gets held back.

 

[Teach97]

Don't worry you are not a horrible parent!

I am a teacher and father to two boys. Oldest is a teacher's dream. Smart, catches on quickly to information, wants to please and enjoys learning. Youngest son when you ask him about his day he says, "Not that bad." This means..."I wasn't sent to the principal's office." There are just about polar opposites. Oldest can read for hours...youngest will dig a hole for ours and fill it in with great satisfaction. Both boys are summer babies and started out the youngest in their classes...the younger one got held back in first grade. As a counselour, another of my jobs, I can tell you that there is evidence that says holding them back is wrong. There is some evidence that they will catch up evintually. I will tell you that my youngest was not ready and was less mature. There is no stigma about being held back. He just needed some extra help and got it. Trust me...he got plenty at home. He got some at home.

Don't jump to conclusions...wait for the meeting. You might be correct but it might also be because he is really doing some great things lately. (We can hope...right?) Seriously....children are their own people! We are all different that is what makes this a great world!!! Embrace his difference...he might not be a rocket scientist (NASA is going out of business anyways) or a brain surgen...but heck...have you hired a plumber or other tradesman lately? Great jobs!

 

[LittleChickenLady]

It's definitely not your fault. I know that teachers can't always help each student individually..but do you even know if the teacher is offering to help? When I was in elementary school there were two kids in particular that had issues in Math and when they would ask questions the teacher would explain it the same way they had before and if the kid still didn't understand, the teacher would get frustrated and just move on.

Not saying this is the case, but it could be a possibility.

Does your son have ADD/ADHD? Sometimes it's not as easy to tell with some kids as it is in others and maybe medication could help him concentrate and understand things better.

I wish you lived further north. I'd definitely tutor him.

I'm excellent in Math.

 

[WriterofWords]

Are there any college students around you could get? A lot of times you can hire one for $10 an hour for an hour a week or two hours. Sometimes less. Wait and see what the teacher has to say though, she may have suggestions for you to help him. If he is only struggling in math most districts won't hold him back, it has to be the two core subjects, math and language arts. One of my biggest complaints is I get kids in 6th grade who were held back in 1st or 2nd so I can't hold them here when I know they aren't ready for middle school. Unless it is an extremely bad case where a child cannot read, write, or do math at the 1st or 2nd level I never suggest holding them back until at least 3rd grade. Have your meeting then come back and tell us what's up, you won't have to make a decision at that time and we may be able to offer you some advice or help after you have the whole story.

 

[spiritdance]

As the previous poster said, it might be nothing specific beyond his own uniqueness, but I think I would want to rule out anything less ephemeral just in case. If he suddenly went from A's and B's to struggling, there might be an underlying cause. I'd take advantage of casual moments during the evenings - no "let's sit down and talk" pressure - and bring up his day at school. I'd listen for any hints of bullying, or maybe a fight with a good friend, a friend moving away, etc. I'd also be curious about physical causes. When my eldest suddenly developed problems in school, a trip to the eye doctor revealed a need for glasses. We had her checked just 8 months earlier and her vision was fine, but everyone in the family wears glasses (near-sighted) so I wasn't really surprised except for the speed with which her vision declined. The eye doctor told us, though, that it's not that unusual in kids. More unusual but just as problematic are hearing problems. My grandson's speech development was delayed until my DD decided mom might just be right and had him tested ... tubes in his ears worked wonders. Either one can go unnoticed by the most well-meaning parents yet still cause learning difficulties.

 

[NYchickie]

Does your son get extra help from the school? In our district if you're a little behind in math or reading you'll get pulled out for 1 on 1 help. If he's not already in the remedial help program it could be his teacher wants him to start?

The MOST IMPORTANT thing is the effort both you and your son put in. You are not a teacher. You can only do your best. Same with your son. If he's studying for hours a day and still only pulling C's...there's not much more you can ask of him. You'd be surprised how many parents don't even care. You do, and that WILL make a difference eventually. Talk to the teacher and make sure he's acutally understanding what is expected of him. Get a plan in place (i forget what it's called) so that the teacher ensures he comprehends the test instructions.

I really don't think he'd get left behind.

My daughter was the same way...first grade she was mostly 'at grade level' for everything, and then the bottom fell out in 2nd grade. 3rd grade was no better. She got pulled out of class for remedial help, we got her tutors, and she still couldn't get to 'grade level' on a report card.

Finally I took her to an education center (ie Sylvan Learning Center) during the summer between 3rd and 4th grades to get tested, this way I would know 100% where she was. I brought her report cards, the teacher comments sheets and examples of her work with me. They looked it all over and, after they got the results of the testing, told me she was exactly where she should be for her grade level and that she was actually above grade level for reading comprehension. If I had known this in second grade I would have NEVER allowed her to get pulled out of class.

After I got those results I figured I wouldn't worry about her report cards or teachers comments anymore and just make sure she did extra work at home and worked hard. 4th grade was her turn around year. She LOVED her teacher, and this year in 5th grade she actually was 'above grade level' for social studies and science.

Hopefully your son has a great teacher next year and things start to click for him.

Chin up!!!

 

[elijahboy]

its not you

i have a boy in 5th grade that never has to ask for help on homework and makes a's and b's

i have a boy in prek whos on a 1st grade level

i have a girl whos in 1st grade and doing homework is a nightmare. the progress report stated if she doesnt do better in math then she will be held back

she is to start sylvan next week but until then i tried something new

the teacher always gives a packet of math on monday for the entire weeks homework to be turned in friday this packet is about 8 pages

monday night i go make 4 extra copies

monday night she does the entire packet that is to be turned into school

tuesday wednesday thursday and one weekend day she has to do another entire packet each day

on monday i will help her alot or as needed

tuesday a little less help

wednesday a little less help than tuesday and so on

on the weekend she is not aloud help at all cause she should know it by now

but by wednesday she didnt need any help so i wont give her any more help for the rest

 

[dewey]

The teacher wanted to fail my son in 2nd grade. Said he'd be perfect for a new program/class they were starting the next year. I asked her how many students in her 2nd grade class were being held back...come to find out it was over 25% of her class. After hearing that I suggested that it was a teaching problem not a student problem. I home schooled my son for a short while to catch him up, then switched schools.

Hoping all the best for your meeting today.

 

[elijahboy]

havent noticed this anywhere but does your child wear glasses or does your child squint

i had the same problem with my oldest in 2nd grade and come to find out he needed glasses so i had the teacher sit him in front of the class then sent him to some seeing teaching class for a stigmatism where they taught him to use his eyes at the same time. he was using one eye at a time somehow

ever since he went to the seeing school he has his nose in books constantly.

 

[dkvart1]

My youngest daughter was a trial for her teachers, beginning in kindergarten. They wanted her evaluated for ADD, ADHD and whatever else they could think of, because she had a short attention span and couldn't sit still for long periods. I refused the evals and told them to deal with it. She went from a pretty much unstructured day (we'd do whatever then move on to something else and then something else as they got bored..) to a full day of structure, how did they expect her to respond?

She struggled terribly with spelling and math, so bad that in 3rd grade her teacher called me in to discuss it and her "attitude". Poor dear was in tears as she asked me if my daugher hated her. Goodness no, I reassured her, she is always talking about you and the things they do in class. She was and always had been a strong willed child, most days it was like taking a bull by the horns!

This wonderful teacher was very confused by how poorly DD was in spelling and at first she suspected dyslexia, but performed her own little test and discovered how well she could read (we didn't have a TV for years when they were little, but we did have library cards!!)and understand what she read when given 7th and 8th grade books, yet she couldn't spell... IN, AT, ON, THE... nada, nothing. We studied with her for hours, tried eveyrthing, but nothing seemed to help.

I agreed to the tests... the conclusion? She did great in the subjects she liked but math and spelling were not important to her and there was no way to make it important to her. They did not want her to become overly discouraged and come to hate the subjects so they decided that the best thing for her would be to grade her on a curve, against herself, not the class. It worked great... she did improve quite a bit that year, but was never going to be a great student in spelling or math, but as long as she tried she got credit. Worked great until we moved from Colorado Springs to Illinois and she had the teacher from He!! who when asked if she had read the test results and recommendations said yes and it didn't mean anything to her. Her children had to EARN their grades and there was no curve (this was 4th grade). After that meeting I told her I didn't care about the grades, only that she give it her best, which she did, she studied hard and continued to show improvement.

My DD will be 34 next month and still isn't the best speller and not so great in the math dept either but she attended college for a year and pulled A's and B's before going to work full time and becoming a mother.

I offered this because sometimes there are other reasons for what's happening and other options available to help them through the rough spots. Hopefully between you and his teachers you can figure something out. If he's passing with C's I can't see holding him back, and grades don't mean everything. If you are working together with him and he's trying and there's no underlying cause, then I wouldn't be overly worried. Hoping for the best for your meeting.