Teen just "can't" be kind to sister (rant).

[danielle82]

let the beating commence

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I have two boys. I can't imagine them inviting friends over to watch My Fair Lady or The King and I. They might watch those movies with me, but they wouldn't pick the movies to watch with their friends.

 

[Chickenmaven]

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I really like and trust his friends. They spend a whole lot of time at our place. We prefer to host the sleepovers, cuz I don't trust some of the other parents, the college aged siblings of some friends... Because these kids have been like family, I do not believe any are disrespectful/lewd with my DD.

I am thinking that if he is not "mature enough to show consideration" for his sister, he should not have to privilege of a pizza party in my home. I am not worried that there will be humping or a kegger, here. Generally, DH & I go down to the neighborhood eatery, get a sandwich & a beer, and we're back in 60-90 minutes. That is part of why I am peaved at him: What I was suggesting is NO BIG DEAL. Let Daddy & Mommy go get a steak sandwich & talk w/o kids for a few minutes.

 

[Chickenmaven]

Quote:
I have two boys. I can't imagine them inviting friends over to watch My Fair Lady or The King and I. They might watch those movies with me, but they wouldn't pick the movies to watch with their friends.

It is the theater group that will be performing that particular musical, thus the geeky choice.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I have two boys. I can't imagine them inviting friends over to watch My Fair Lady or The King and I. They might watch those movies with me, but they wouldn't pick the movies to watch with their friends.

It is the theater group that will be performing that particular musical, thus the geeky choice.

Okay. That makes sense.

 

[Whispering Winds]

Quote:
We had 5 teenagers at the same time. They all got along as well as could be expected, luckily we had enough BR's for everyone to sort of have their own space. But, one thing I learned. I don't care how "good or sweet, or kind or smart or respectful" teens are, they are usually plotting something. I wouldn't leave them alone again for anything. Our oldest daughter was really a good kid, but that didn't stop her from doing some really crazy things . . .sheesh.

Yeah. I hate to think this way, but maybe the mom should do some snooping in the boy's room. Social butterflies sometimes really want to make everyone like them and might be willing to go along with some crazy stuff.

I know. Snooping on your kids are frowned on, but the son does seem to be overreacting a bit and I would wonder why.

If I had an inkling THEN what they confessed later, and what we knew they did, I would snoop and not lose an ounce of guilt or sleep over it. They are all great kids now, our son is going to start pre-med in the spring, the others are good mama's and generally nice people, but OMG at one time, I wouldn't have given a plug nickel for a couple of them. I was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too trusting, and learned the hard way!!! What they don't think of, their friends will!!! You also have to be aware that some parents DO NOT think like you do about stuff, and of course those kids aren't going to broadcast it . . .just be aware and be cautious. And, don't think just because "its his little sister" those buddies of his won't try something. I can't put on here what my DH says teen age boys are, but its something to do with a walking stick.

 

[GaNewChick]

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I wasn't saying he was abusive, physically ~ and am glad you didn't take it that way. I thought about it later on after I had left the house. I was thinking there might be some interesting info there.

My brother and I are 5 years apart. We grew up together in the same house, but not with each other. He sure didn't want me tagging along when he was 10 and I was 5.

to him!

 

[MissPrissy]

17 is more than just a 'teenager'. At 18 society will view him as a legal adult citizen. It's time to toe the line and start behaving more like a young adult when they expect to have privileges of a young adult. That means doing what is expected of you even if you don't like it. Life is tough.

Treat him the way he is treating his sister. Don't give him the choice to say no.

And, yes, I would revoke some of his privileges if he can't be nice to his sister. Can't spend 90 minutes with your sister? Then I can't __________ (fill in the blank). No money. No car. No hanging with friends on X day.

Until the attitude changes and he decides he can at least be civil to his sister? No money. No car. No extras at all.

 

[hikerchick]

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If you see hanging out with your own daughter as a punishment why are you surprised that your son feels the same way? He is taking his cues from you. Apparently you don't feel you can have a good time while she is around so why should he?

 

[redhen]

I would sit him down and really talk with him about his selfish behavior.
Ask him if he understands the hard time his sister has had? Ask him if he even cares about that? Then go from there..if he still shows lack of empathy..i'd step up something in my house..
He needs to understand that family is the most important thing there is..
but then again..you cant force someone to really care about someone else...If he dosent get it himself now.. then hopefully he will when he grows up a bit..