Tell Me A Story........................

[Oven Ready]

...go get me a refund from the signmakers, no need for a 'ChickenRandomness The Great and his amazing Pogoing Horse, supported by the Black Satin Chicken Dance Troupe' sign anymore. "What am I gonna do with all this horsemeat and dead chicken?" Wild Bill pondered to himself. "To heck in a hat, why didn't I think of that before? I've got a load of old horsemeat, a stack of old chicken meat and a beard... ....Iffin' I changed my name to Colonel something and moved myself out to Kentucky maybees I could make a dollar or two selling quick wholesome food". And so Wild Bill packed up the circus and all the dead meat and headed west to Kentucky. ......

 

[Oven Ready]

Heading west to Kentucky proved harder than the the Colonel had thought. By the time he reached the Pacific Ocean the meat he was carrying had start to smell a little. Had the Colonel taken a moment to consider his position he would have found that by travelling 50 miles east he'd have been in Kentucky long, long ago. However, he carried on his journey confident that Kentucky could only be a short boat ride from California. As he boarded a steamer out of Humboldt Bay, and the whiff of rotting carcasses caught his olfactory senses unaware, he thought to himself...

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

" I had better eat this meat before it goes completely rotten!" So he made the biggest Cardiac Burger man nor beast has ever seen! "I can't eat this, I need to call the Guiness Book Of World Records! " " I wish phones would hurry up & be invented, so I could call" The tiny village of NEW YORK threw a burger bash & ate every morcel of the giant Cardiac Burger. Wild Bill loved where he was at so he decided he would just stay in New York & become ........

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

a famous balerina "Because I just love wearing tutu's" gasped Wild Bill. " I shall change my name to "Bubba the Balerina" And where do balerinas make the most $$$$, in Paris! So Wild Bill,a.k.a Bubba the balerina bought a boat ticket to Paris. He was almost broke by this time, a canoe is all he could afford to charter. Off to Paris, across the ocean, Bubba & the canoe captain set sail, well.... paddled. After months of paddling.......

 

[chickenbarn-gal]

His arms started jiggle and wiggle from all the work he had put in. He said, "Dear ballorina, would you paddle a little?" With a disgusted look on her face

She said, "No way! I am a PROFFESTIONAL! I don't PADDLE!!!" So the captin said, "Fine" and shuved the paddle in her face! "I would HIRE another captin but because we are so far away from land I can't! so PADDLE" She said. So then after a big fight they desided that she uses one paddle, and he uses the other!

 

[Ec_Prokta]

However, the ballerina was very inexperienced and the boat capsized shortly after. "It's all your fault! Hmph!" The ballerina said, now soaking wet. Just then, a huge cruise ship sailed by them, noticed them, and lowered a rescue boat to come and rescue them. The ballerina and the captain got on the boat, one much happier than the other. "Where's the ship going?" The captain asked. The sailors answered...

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

To Jamaica, mon......

 

[Ec_Prokta]

At this point, the captain could not take it anymore. He climbed the boat, knocked out the sailors, and...

 

[GracefulBantams]

headed the boat away from Jamaica, since he never wanted to go there in the first place!

 

[Sir Birdaholic]