Telling Kids a Chicken Died

[SteveBaz]

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My feelings exactly. We are given a life and live it and when its done its done. That is the best way and your kids will understand. Sorry for the loss

 

[wyododge]

Sorry for the loss of the chicken, but we do things a bit different. For a dog, we do part ways in a similar manor. Say some words, put a favorite toy with them, and bury them. With livestock, it is a completely different thing. Won't go into details but we just believe that food is food, and companions are companions. Children are exposed to false reality everyday, and sometimes get angry when it hits them in the face. If your son gets angry, I would get angry back. Let him know that life is not all puppy dog tails and butterfly wings. Death and tragedy happen and the sooner he learns to deal with it the better.

May sound tough, and I mean ABSOLUTELY no disrespect, and do not mean to sound as if I am pointing my finger or anything. Just how we handle life and death out here. Our kids are NOT the center of the universe, just a very small part of it. Perspective I guess.

I would put the chicken in the coop, and make him get it out, dig the hole, and fill it. Guardianship has responsibility.

This is strictly our opinion though, I would not ever assume you are not doing a decent job raising your children, and would NEVER assume I could do a better job of it. Along the same lines, our method of handling the same situation could be 100% wrong as well.

God Bless

 

[whitejerabias]

Yikes, that does sound harsh. But I suppose so is the reality of life and death. I don't think that's be the way I'd choose to go about it. Death is a fact of life, but that doesn't make it easy to accept. Just because a kid gets angry doesn't mean they don't understand or even that they ARE angry. It is a much easier emotion to have than sadness. Anger is the second stage of grief and he deserves the chance to grieve his pet without judgment.

Have you read "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney"? Very good book about a pet that died.

Good luck to you. I hope your DS doesn't take it too hard.

 

[CarolJ]

Matter-of-fact and kind are the two things to keep in mind. Most children have an understanding of death. I wouldn't make him go get the dead chicken and dig the hole himself, though, unless he wanted to. When my rooster was killed by a hawk last week, my husband offered to bury him for me, and I really appreciated that. I could've done it myself - I've done it before. My husband was just being kind because he knew how much I enjoyed that particular rooster. With a child, I would tell him that we needed to bury the chicken, and would he like to help and to have a prayer or say a few words (have a funeral) for it.

 

[Beekissed]

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I don't find it a bit harsh. I agree, actually, that children need to take responsibility in a matter like this. My kids have always been taught to dig their own holes for the pets they've taken on and bury their own dead. This is part of the package, unfortunately. I'll help if they are very small, but I don't do the deed.

Same with one that needs to be put down....I'll help, but I don't do it for them. If you are old enough to be responsible for an animal and all its care, you are old enough to understand that all life ends in death and that death needs to be dealt with. Angry? Their allowed. Everyone is...but...they still have to do what needs doing, as we all do.

I believe this is why it is so very hard for the people on this forum to deal with the death of their chickens. Maybe as children they were given the option of not having to learn effective coping mechanisms and never developed how to put death in perspective.

 

[cafarmgirl]

I was always very emotional too as a child about losing my pets. My parents were not of much help, they were not matter of fact about it and in fact just didn't talk about it at all, whether they knew a death was near or if it happened suddenly. Us kids were just left to deal with it however we knew how and it was not easy when a special pet was involved.

With my kids I tell them up front if I know a pet is ailing and may pass. I keep them informed and tell them exactly why and what's going on with their animal so it's not a big surprise when it happens, they know death is a fact of life. If it is a sudden and unexpected loss I just try to explain as clearly as possible what happened. I don't hide from them my own sadness when I loose a very special pet and over the years they have learned how to manage the loss of a pet. One thing I am careful to do is make very clear to them that they took very good care of their pet, that it lived a good life and that nothing they did or didn't do affected the outcome.

I agree with CarolJ about the burial. I'd ask him if he wants to help. I have not always wanted to be at the burial of my own pets so I would totally understand a child not wanting to either.

 

[Mattemma]

My kids handled it well.We dug a hole for her,and ds got stones to put over her grave.

 

[hennyannie]

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That was so well said! I hope I have done half as well with my DDs when we have faced a loss at our farm. We recently lost a canine friend and I am afraid I was so upset myself that we didnt talk as much about it. Still my girls have been talking about all the good times we had with him and how lucky we were to have him for so many years. I was so proud of them.

 

[Beekissed]

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That's great! One more milestone along the way....

 

[moodlymoo]

I was quite surprised at my kids when their little chick died. They were ok with it. My youngest said "ok mommy, can we stuff her" that was the end of it really. They move on quickly from things like that