Ten things you really need to know about me before you date my daughter.
1. When it comes to dating my daughter its not a democracy. I am the dictator of your little world. I am evil and will hunt you like a rabid dog if you hurt her.
2. I am not a friend. Trust me I hate everyone. I really hate knot headed teenage boys. So just answer my questions and shut up.
3. Do what I say not what I do, because buck shot dose exactly what I want it to do.
4. I wear my 1911 .45 ACP sidearm all the time so you dont have to worry. Ok I lied you do, but if you see my shotgun just run. PS. If you are late bringing my little girl home you will see the shotgun.
5. Im not scared to go back to prison!
6. If you ever disagree with anything I say from religion, politics, work I tell you to do, (and I will) or favorite NASCAR driver keep it to yourself because its hard to find work you can do from a wheelchair.
7. I keep my knifes very sharp and if I find anything uncovered that should be covered I will cut it off. Ps I have never cut anyone because I was scared. I did it because it was fun.
8. Im easily agitated so if I tell you to leave dont ask why, just remember that my dogs can reach the front gate in 7.8 seconds and a bullet can travel at over 2000 feet per second. How fast can you run?
9. I believe that my little girl is always right. If you have any disagreements with her review # 6 again.
10. One last thing you need to know. I have done things to people that horror film writers would cringe at. I cant go into detail because the feds would know where to search. So if you think about hurting her I will hurt you.
Any questions? Never mind shut up and go get me a beer.
1. When it comes to dating my daughter its not a democracy. I am the dictator of your little world. I am evil and will hunt you like a rabid dog if you hurt her.
2. I am not a friend. Trust me I hate everyone. I really hate knot headed teenage boys. So just answer my questions and shut up.
3. Do what I say not what I do, because buck shot dose exactly what I want it to do.
4. I wear my 1911 .45 ACP sidearm all the time so you dont have to worry. Ok I lied you do, but if you see my shotgun just run. PS. If you are late bringing my little girl home you will see the shotgun.
5. Im not scared to go back to prison!
6. If you ever disagree with anything I say from religion, politics, work I tell you to do, (and I will) or favorite NASCAR driver keep it to yourself because its hard to find work you can do from a wheelchair.
7. I keep my knifes very sharp and if I find anything uncovered that should be covered I will cut it off. Ps I have never cut anyone because I was scared. I did it because it was fun.
8. Im easily agitated so if I tell you to leave dont ask why, just remember that my dogs can reach the front gate in 7.8 seconds and a bullet can travel at over 2000 feet per second. How fast can you run?
9. I believe that my little girl is always right. If you have any disagreements with her review # 6 again.
10. One last thing you need to know. I have done things to people that horror film writers would cringe at. I cant go into detail because the feds would know where to search. So if you think about hurting her I will hurt you.
Any questions? Never mind shut up and go get me a beer.
