The Evolution of Atlas: A Breeding (and Chat) Thread

[h2oratt]

Finally. I blacked out their address, or rather, his address.
View attachment 1617854

Yes it’s a done deal.!

 

[getaclue]

YAY!!!!!!! I know it's a relief for you, and your husband. I hope your son is relieved too. I know it was a bit of a set back for him getting the divorce, but I hope now that it's finalized, he's once again, moving onward, and upward.

 

[1muttsfan]

That's great news

 

[speckledhen]

Well, if she had never cheated, or been caught anyway, and never filed, he would never have left her. He took his vows seriously, believes that marriage is sacred, as he was taught. Of course, infidelity is a legit reason to dump someone, no question. Even her parents have been married a long, long time, oddly enough, have the same anniversary date as Tom and I. But, a lot of her issues, I believe, come from her mother, who cleaned out an entire savings account under her husband's nose. He went to get something from it and it was empty. Sounds just like her daughter. And they adopted her son and took responsibility for her actions, let her off the hook entirely. That never helps anyone grow up.

For some reason, I had a moment of nastiness when I saw the final decree. I kept hearing in my head, "Ding, dong, the witch is dead..". Sorry, couldn't help it, I'm human!

 

[Leahs Mom]

On them taking her child....
One thing to think about is the welfare of the kid. I know that bailing someone out by taking away their responsibility can be seen as "enabling" them. However in a case like this, the child is often the one who is hurt when trying to make a person take responsibility for their actions.

Sometimes it's better to err on the side of protecting the kid than trying to make the person be responsible when they may not take the responsibility properly...

 

[speckledhen]

On them taking her child....
One thing to think about is the welfare of the kid. I know that bailing someone out by taking away their responsibility can be seen as "enabling" them. However in a case like this, the child is often the one who is hurt when trying to make a person take responsibility for their actions.

Sometimes it's better to err on the side of protecting the kid than trying to make the person be responsible when they may not take the responsibility properly...

It's mostly them lying to him, not telling him that she is his mother, not his sister, not that they adopted him, but that they let her get off scott-free. He should know. It's not right. As someone who was lied to repeatedly about a lot of stuff that I had a right to know, I'm on his side in this.

 

[getaclue]

Considering the way she is, maybe everyone did what was best for the child. It might not have been about her at all, but about the child. Maybe some day they'll tell him, maybe not. It's ok, either way, as long as the boy grows up in a decent, loving home.

 

[speckledhen]

Considering the way she is, maybe everyone did what was best for the child. It might not have been about her at all, but about the child. Maybe some day they'll tell him, maybe not. It's ok, either way, as long as the boy grows up in a decent, loving home.

He's in his 30's and married now. I think he can handle it. I still think it's wrong to keep that from him. It's truly his choice to know his biological father, where he comes from, if there is some medical issues he should be aware of, etc. They never intended to tell him, Cheryl. I know what it feels like, to have someone keep a secret until it's too late. If my father had told me my biological name sooner, I would have been able to find my mother before she drank herself to death at 52 years old. Maybe knowing I was who I was would have helped her in some way, but that choice was taken from me and I'll never know. I was just 10 years too late and lies were the reason for that. Brian deserves to know the truth, I don't care why it was kept from him originally.

 

[getaclue]

speckled, it's highly doubtful that you could have influenced your mother's drinking in any way. Sorry, but that's the sad truth to it. Regardless of whether you knew her or not, the choices about her drinking were never yours. They were hers, and hers alone. Take some peace, and comfort from that.

 

[speckledhen]

speckled, it's highly doubtful that you could have influenced your mother's drinking in any way. Sorry, but that's the sad truth to it. Regardless of whether you knew her or not, the choices about her drinking were never yours. They were hers, and hers alone. Take some peace, and comfort from that.

No, by then, it was established, but her high school friends told me that she began drinking in earnest, even showing up drunk on the streets, getting beat up, etc, after I was born. She went to the nursery to see her baby and called one of them, crying, saying I was already gone. After that, she was completely gone and her life only went downhill. At least I could have told her that she did the best she could for me and I was okay, more than okay, that she had two grandsons, etc.