The Front Porch Swing

[Tomtommom]

Your stories are wonderful

 

[tntchix]

I knew when I got up to over 200 pounds I had to do something but I had no clue where or how to start. Ken was overseas at the time and the kids and I were staying with my folks. I went up to bed one night and my dad had put a little note on my pillow - "Tomorrow we go buy you some clothes - at Sioux Falls Tent and Awning." Ouch. I was so mad at him! The next morning at breakfast I was still giving him the silent treatment. He looked over his coffee cup at me and said, "Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but nothing else has sunk in. You don't have anything but tomorrows, and you have a husband and 3 little kids depending on you for every tomorrow you can give them. Now, what the he11 are you going to do and how can we help?" I have never been a sweet eater - I'm one of those rare people who doesn't like dessert, candy bars, or even chocolate, unless it's chocolate pudding or hot chocolate. Those are the only two chocolate things I like. I've said before, my idea of a bedtime snack is a pork chop!

At home we had a rule - you stayed at the table until everyone was done eating, then whichever ones of us were assigned after-dinner cleanup got busy. He hated it when someone was still eating and the table was being cleared around them, therefore we all sat and talked until the last fork got put down. It didn't matter that I was a grown woman with a family of my own - it was a rule inviolate. So while others were still eating, I was picking....picking another "tiny" bit of potatoes, or meatloaf, or whatever. The first change was that as soon as my single, smaller helping of dinner was gone I was allowed to leave the table - as long as I was going for a walk. The first evening I didn't get very far - maybe half a block and back! The second change was while I was helping - or totally preparing if Ma was at work - dinner. I'd eat an apple and have a glass of water while I cooked. By the time my brother or sisters had the table set and everyone was gathered, I wasn't as hungry. As the weight started coming off, very fast at first, I got into the whole process so much better. My half block walk became the whole block, then two blocks, and so on. I figured out that eating a salad was a total cop-out. All salad was to me was a plate to cover with salty, fatty salad dressing...usually more dressing than salad. I also figured out that buttering a slice of bread and browning it in the drippings from whatever meat I'd cooked was probably not a good idea either.

To give my folks credit, after that first note and conversation with my dad, they never said another word. They didn't criticize if I messed up, but they didn't lather on praise either. Dad used to say that praising someone for simply doing what had to be done was empty praise - that praise, like respect, had to be earned. That doesn't mean they didn't encourage, they just didn't gush over it. By the time Ken got home I'd lost over 20 pounds. I knew I still had a ways to go, but I would exercise along with Jack LaLane on the old black and white TV (Boy, does that age me!) take the kids to the park and actually run and play with them instead of sitting on a bench with a book, and still took my walks every evening. The bad habits were broken, and new habits had taken their places. I actually had to go to thrift stores periodically and get clothes to replace those that didn't fit anymore!

One night, about 4 days before Ken was due to come home, I went up to bed and found another note from Dad. "Tomorrow we go buy you a nice outfit to wear for Ken's homecoming. How does Fantle's sound?" Fantles' was a huge department store downtown - Holy Toledo it had elevators AND a mezzanine and everything! He bought me a lovely soft gray blazer, black dressy trousers, and a bright blue satiny feeling blouse - with ruffles! I felt so beautiful. Driving home that evening he looked over at me and said, "You probably don't even realize that you're smiling again."

Thanks for the tomorrows, Dad.

*tears* how do you always manage that.
Book is a no brainer.

How inspirational, Blooie!

WRITE THAT BOOK! Maybe you will make a million and can have a huge party in Cowley for all the front porch sitters. I think we could double the town population easy.

Did OK this morning, no eggs in the fridge for breakfast so I had to make due with fruit and a yogurt. I have discovered that I am one of those people who need protein for breakfast to prevent snacking later on. Key lime yogurt is really a dessert, not breakfast; that flavored yogurt is so dang sweet and the only plain yogurt that I can find in the store is not very good and too dang runny. Time to put together a homemade yogurt maker and try making my own. I like a little yogurt in my smoothie to thicken it up and the live cultures would be good for my gut.

I took the pup to the vet - he is 12 weeks old and weighs in at 28 pounds. Zounds! he is going to be a monster when he grows up.

Oh my! He is big.

 

[Blooie]

Wish we had a "blushing" thingy.

Thanks, guys, but these are all just a hodge-podge of memories and little things that happen along the way as I walk through life. Nothing cohesive to base a book on, so I'll keep doing what I do - putting family stories in the appropriate "Treasure Boxes" for the kids to enjoy when I'm not here anymore and posting a few here as they occur to me.

The true writers of all of these stories are my family - Ma and Dad, siblings Linda, Lori, Ron and Bev, and of course my kids and grandkids. The real credit goes to my dad. I think I've mentioned before that I had a stuttering problem, and I'd get so frustrated! I always felt that folks were either tuning me out halfway through what I wanted to say or wanting desperately to finish my sentences for me. Finally Dad told me to write down things I wanted to share. He said that what I had to say was important to him, and he promised that if I wrote it, he would read it. Every word. And he did. Soon he had me reading what I'd written to him, and as long as I was reading it the stuttering wasn't as noticible. So thanks, Dad!

 

[Blooie]

That little puppy is going to be able to give the kids rides to school!

 

[tntchix]

Wish we had a "blushing" thingy.

Thanks, guys, but these are all just a hodge-podge of memories and little things that happen along the way as I walk through life. Nothing cohesive to base a book on, so I'll keep doing what I do - putting family stories in the appropriate "Treasure Boxes" for the kids to enjoy when I'm not here anymore and posting a few here as they occur to me.

The true writers of all of these stories are my family - Ma and Dad, siblings Linda, Lori, Ron and Bev, and of course my kids and grandkids. The real credit goes to my dad. I think I've mentioned before that I had a stuttering problem, and I'd get so frustrated! I always felt that folks were either tuning me out halfway through what I wanted to say or wanting desperately to finish my sentences for me. Finally Dad told me to write down things I wanted to share. He said that what I had to say was important to him, and he promised that if I wrote it, he would read it. Every word. And he did. Soon he had me reading what I'd written to him, and as long as I was reading it the stuttering wasn't as noticible. So thanks, Dad!

Maybe a group of short stories called Things Daddy Told Me would be more to your liking?

That little puppy is going to be able to give the kids rides to school!

You got that right.

 

[Alice28]

Wish we had a "blushing" thingy.     Thanks, guys, but these are all just a hodge-podge of memories and little things that happen along the way as I walk through life.  Nothing cohesive to base a book on, so I'll keep doing what I do - putting family stories in the appropriate "Treasure Boxes" for the kids to enjoy when I'm not here anymore and posting a few here as they occur to me.

The true writers of all of these stories are my family - Ma and Dad, siblings Linda, Lori, Ron and Bev, and of course my kids and grandkids.  The real credit goes to my dad.  I think I've mentioned before that I had a stuttering problem, and I'd get so frustrated!  I always felt that folks were either tuning me out halfway through what I wanted to say or wanting desperately to finish my sentences for me.  Finally Dad told me to write down things I wanted to share.  He said that what I had to say was important to him, and he promised that if I wrote it, he would read it.  Every word.  And he did.  Soon he had me reading what I'd written to him, and as long as I was reading it the stuttering wasn't as noticible.  So thanks, Dad!

Well the stories are always wonderful! I enjoy them all. And what a good idea your dad had to write it down. My son stutters pretty bad at times. It seems whenever he hits a growth spurt, it comes back full force. It's really bad right now. He's only four, so isn't able to write it down yet and it drives me crazy when others interrupt him or finish for him. I make sure to tell them that's it's important to let him finish without interrupting him. When he starts to stutter and it's getting really bad, I get down to his level and take a deep breath. That usually gets him to take a deep breat and he is able to get the rest out. Or when he's done talking, I talk very quietly and slow and when he starts again, he's talking quiet and slow and won't stutter as much. If it doesn't go away, I'm going to see about him writing it down and reading it.

 

[vehve]

Blooie, the stories might not all be your own doings - but much more important is the way they're told. I suggest you start writing them down, and when you get enough to fill a book, try to find a publisher. "Assorted memories" would be a good title.

 

[Alice28]

Blooie, the stories might not all be your own doings - but much more important is the way they're told. I suggest you start writing them down, and when you get enough to fill a book, try to find a publisher. "Assorted memories" would be a good title.

 

[Blooie]

Well the stories are always wonderful! I enjoy them all. And what a good idea your dad had to write it down. My son stutters pretty bad at times. It seems whenever he hits a growth spurt, it comes back full force. It's really bad right now. He's only four, so isn't able to write it down yet and it drives me crazy when others interrupt him or finish for him. I make sure to tell them that's it's important to let him finish without interrupting him. When he starts to stutter and it's getting really bad, I get down to his level and take a deep breath. That usually gets him to take a deep breat and he is able to get the rest out. Or when he's done talking, I talk very quietly and slow and when he starts again, he's talking quiet and slow and won't stutter as much. If it doesn't go away, I'm going to see about him writing it down and reading it.

You're such a good mommy! Stuttering is embarrassing, it interrupts the flow of information you're trying to convey, and the more you stutter trying to get a thought across the more frustrating and embarrassed you become, so the stuttering worsens as you talk. I took deep breaths until I hyperventilated! (not really, but it was funny when I thought it!) I'll bet he could get the hang of writing it down even now, Alice. Give him a pad and a crayon. Show him a simple phrase by printing it big and reading it to him. For instance, put "milk please" on the paper. Draw a simple line drawing of a glass of milk. Presto, he's learning that there are other forms of communication and HE is control. He should be able to copy the letters you write in another year or so, but for now you're just trying to show him that when he's ready, you have a way to help him. Worth a try - our little ones are always worth a try!

 

[Alice28]

You're such a good mommy!  Stuttering is embarrassing, it interrupts the flow of information you're trying to convey, and the more you stutter trying to get a thought across the more frustrating and embarrassed you become, so the stuttering worsens as you talk. I took deep breaths until I hyperventilated!  (not really, but it was funny when I thought it!)   I'll bet he could get the hang of writing it down even now, Alice.  Give him a pad and a crayon.  Show him a simple phrase by printing it big and reading it to him.  For instance, put "milk please" on the paper.  Draw a simple line drawing of a glass of milk.  Presto, he's learning that there are other forms of communication and HE is control.  He should be able to copy the letters you write in another year or so, but for now you're just trying to show him that when he's ready, you have a way to help him.  Worth a try - our little ones are always worth a try!

That's true. I'll have to try that with him. I am lucky to have worked with a young man who had a really bad stutter in the past. I wanted to always provide the best care, so I read up on it and listened to the limited information the company gave me and asked questions from others who knew more about it then I did. When my son started to stutter, I looked up and read about children and stuttering. I've talked with his teacher and the few times he's had a babysitter, I've talked to them and let them know how important it is to let him get it out on his own. I've had to talk to a few people and just tell them it's really important to let him talk for himself. It's harder in public. We were getting my husband a coffee the other morning while he was working and the lady at the coffee shop asked him a question and his stutter was really bad and took him a long time to get it out. But she was patient and it's not the end of the world if the other people in line wait an extra two minutes for their coffees. She was very nice waiting for him. Maybe one day he will put more and more thoughts into writing and become a writer like you

. I'll tell people one day when they ask about how he started writing "well I was on back yard chickens one day and a lady named Blooie said...." I am going to try the writing. Right now I don't think he really notices he does it. We try to not draw attention to it or say anything, but the days it's really bad, writing or drawing a picture might help. I'm worried about next year when he goes to kindergarten because if someone makes fun or anything he will start to realize and that will make it harder. But I like what your dad said, "it's important to me and I will read it all. I promise."