The Front Porch Swing

[heartsizedfarm]

I would join with those women

 

[lovingmyhens]

its 3am, I couldnt sleep so I figured id pop in. Good I did 5 pages I dont have to read come morning. Sometimes my nights are my loneliest. When there is no one to reach out and find comfort in. But guess Gods got his plans so I try to find strength to say, give me your best shot. Im praying the man gets the money to my bank today so I can start planning a few things.
woke up thinking about a young man in the family who told me when my son died, im your son now, I will be there for you. Had a few folks tell me that. But this young man is the one that is hurting me most. I wont get into details cause no need but to say my youth and life til I was 27 wasnt easy. Then God put a good man into my life and I finally felt safe. Well part of my healing was to say I would never again let people hurt me again. I would either deal with them or remove them from my life.
After my son died I was going through some issues with my inlaws. Most of it is a language barrier and both are elderly and with my mil some dementia has set in but many folks around just say they have always been like this.
I am determined that first im an adult, not a child. I deserve respect and I respect my elders. But a few things have happened and I just could not turn the other cheek. Their behavior was cruel. And I chose to remove myself from people who treat me like this. An incident happened and I was upset and was telling this young man why I was upset. He told me regardless of how they treat me I should just deal with it. Maybe I deserved it! Thing was it put my children and I in danger, second part was just spiteful trying to drive me off on the part of his brother who sees my husbands return as loosing his chance to claim what is rightfully my husbands cause many thought he would never return and his brother is greedy.
I told this young man ive turned my cheek so many times in the past two years and in my lifetime and it wasnt deserved and I wasnt letting anyone tell me that it was ok to be mistreated. Its been a month now and he has not contacted me once. I hurt each time I think of him cause he was the only person who stepped up and helped me out while my husband is gone. So I feel like ive lost another son.
I dont know how to mend this. I will not allow people to mistreat me and its not deserved. And for anyone to tell me well thats just how they treat everyone wont fly. This young man only sees culture how its done for hundreds of years. Well its wrong. And each time I say ok God you took my son for whatever reason, you put challenges in front of me to test me and each time I do fine. But I have few support systems here. No members of my own family who traditionally would speak on my behalf. Also this is a male society and without my husband or a son to protect me im fair game for abuse. Im trying to raise my kids to speak out against abuse, defend those who are weak and stand strong and be independent people. But its 8 months today since my son passed and all those folks who stood by me at his funeral saying they would be there to help me have gone back into the woodwork. Most just cause they got their own lives and others cause mostly it just something you say to someone whose greiving and dont think they will ever need you.
Sorry im chatty, but midmonth I get like this and im getting better some months. Sad I share my woes with strangers than with someone who actually is near me. But I got to get it off my chest.
Its 4am and the various roosters have begun their morning crows. Ur ur ur. They go through different sounds if you really pay attention. Guess I will try and sleep a bit more. Offer a little prayer that I find comfort soon. They say it gets easier when you lose someone, nope it doesnt...you just find ways to move on alone.

I am wishing I could give you a hug...I am praying that you find comfort soon too. God does listen and he does answer prayers. Open up your Bible and remind yourself of these promises!

 

[Beekissed]

I am wishing I could give you a hug...I am praying that you find comfort soon too. God does listen and he does answer prayers. Open up your Bible and remind yourself of these promises!

X 2! I am so very sorry for your misery and sadness there and wish I could send you some joy in a package. I know what it's like to be lonely in the middle of the night and wondering when it will all end. I will pray for you!

 

[Windy Bay Farm]

Dang it Bee, made me boo hoo.

I dunno who this girl is, but her voice is amazing. I sobbed like a small child.. Those lyrics are powerful. I had chills most of the way through it !

Today was a WORK day.  I'm filthy from head to toe, I'm exhausted, I'm aching in every cell of my being....and I'm overjoyed about it all!  e     In the Bible it says God gave man work as a gift and I truly know what is meant by that...what in the world would we do with ourselves if we didn't have some kind of productive, creative work to occupy our time?  Get up to mischief, mostly. 

Now, granted, most of what folks call work in this world is not something to get overjoyed about, but good ol' get yer hands in the dirt and build, grow or otherwise make something useful or beautiful?  THAT'S a gift!   That I have the health and mobility to even do anything at all is a gift.  That I live where I don't have to ask permission is a gift.  The freedom to come and go, the abundance to buy tools or have electricity to use them, to buy materials, the ability to learn how to use them to make something...that's all a gift from the Lord and I thank Him for it all.  I love You, Father! 

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day today!   

[COLOR=800080]Give a shout out if you had a great day, a great moment, a great thing happen to you today! [/COLOR]

I'd like to give a shout out to our awesome Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ ! He is so wonderful and has blessed me beyond !

 

[Beekissed]

I'd like to give a shout out to our awesome Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ ! He is so wonderful and has blessed me beyond !

And all God's people shouted, "AMEN!!!"

 

[Oldmomma]

There is very little here. This society was ran by a tyrant for 42 yrs and what better way to keep folks under control but to remove all self worth. Abuse is just now being discussed in public and many of the groups trying to start these programs are abused. Think about life in the 50s and 60s in the usa, where if your husband beat you or your kids, you had mental health problems or drug/alcohol problems no one spoke about them. We didnt air our dirty laundry. Well thats what its like here. My husband is a good man and maybe like me he left family behind cause of abuse. Hes never really spoken much about his life to me. For many years I felt it was for our safety. A lot has changed in the past 3 yrs for us and he cant be here with me. He knows im a strong person and I will stand up against anyone treating someone wrong. I have a nephew who loved to hit his sisters and I worried his wife. I told her in private and him in front of his family that I loved him dearly but he was never to lay a hand on them again and if I found out he had I would personally come after him. Took him all but a month to know I was dead serious. He hasnt touched them since. But its that underlying belief that its nobodies business that I have to deal with here. I remind folks of what the good books say about treatment of those in our care. Its hard cause at times im seen as an outsider but im not. I was just educated not raised in the faith. Culture, traditions, superstitions all are different here and education can be tempered with faith. There are other ladies like me here. I met a few at my son funeral but they have forgotten how hard it was when they came here and I feel many are like no one was here to help us, your on your own. Which is sad. Depression is extremely high here add to thst PTSD for 100% of the population and no mental health services and open drug access and well most folks here self medicate themselves into stupors. That is one reason why im raising animals is to remove my stress levels. I know God is there, I got Footprints in the Sand bath curtain lol. But somedays I need a physical being to hold on to. Its 5am best try to rest and pray that man gets the bank problem sorted out.

 

[Windy Bay Farm]

[COLOR=800080]And all God's people shouted, "AMEN!!!" [/COLOR] 

AMEN and AMEN !!!

 

[LBejaran]

its 3am, I couldnt sleep so I figured id pop in. Good I did 5 pages I dont have to read come morning. Sometimes my nights are my loneliest. When there is no one to reach out and find comfort in. But guess Gods got his plans so I try to find strength to say, give me your best shot. Im praying the man gets the money to my bank today so I can start planning a few things.
woke up thinking about a young man in the family who told me when my son died, im your son now, I will be there for you. Had a few folks tell me that. But this young man is the one that is hurting me most. I wont get into details cause no need but to say my youth and life til I was 27 wasnt easy. Then God put a good man into my life and I finally felt safe. Well part of my healing was to say I would never again let people hurt me again. I would either deal with them or remove them from my life.
After my son died I was going through some issues with my inlaws. Most of it is a language barrier and both are elderly and with my mil some dementia has set in but many folks around just say they have always been like this.
I am determined that first im an adult, not a child. I deserve respect and I respect my elders. But a few things have happened and I just could not turn the other cheek. Their behavior was cruel. And I chose to remove myself from people who treat me like this. An incident happened and I was upset and was telling this young man why I was upset. He told me regardless of how they treat me I should just deal with it. Maybe I deserved it! Thing was it put my children and I in danger, second part was just spiteful trying to drive me off on the part of his brother who sees my husbands return as loosing his chance to claim what is rightfully my husbands cause many thought he would never return and his brother is greedy.
I told this young man ive turned my cheek so many times in the past two years and in my lifetime and it wasnt deserved and I wasnt letting anyone tell me that it was ok to be mistreated. Its been a month now and he has not contacted me once. I hurt each time I think of him cause he was the only person who stepped up and helped me out while my husband is gone. So I feel like ive lost another son.
I dont know how to mend this. I will not allow people to mistreat me and its not deserved. And for anyone to tell me well thats just how they treat everyone wont fly. This young man only sees culture how its done for hundreds of years. Well its wrong. And each time I say ok God you took my son for whatever reason, you put challenges in front of me to test me and each time I do fine. But I have few support systems here. No members of my own family who traditionally would speak on my behalf. Also this is a male society and without my husband or a son to protect me im fair game for abuse. Im trying to raise my kids to speak out against abuse, defend those who are weak and stand strong and be independent people. But its 8 months today since my son passed and all those folks who stood by me at his funeral saying they would be there to help me have gone back into the woodwork. Most just cause they got their own lives and others cause mostly it just something you say to someone whose greiving and dont think they will ever need you.
Sorry im chatty, but midmonth I get like this and im getting better some months. Sad I share my woes with strangers than with someone who actually is near me. But I got to get it off my chest.
Its 4am and the various roosters have begun their morning crows. Ur ur ur. They go through different sounds if you really pay attention. Guess I will try and sleep a bit more. Offer a little prayer that I find comfort soon. They say it gets easier when you lose someone, nope it doesnt...you just find ways to move on alone.

I've learned recently that if we don't push away the negativity, we will be stuck in it and become like it. We absorb that energy from others and it changes us, most of the time so slowly that we don't even realize it until someone tells us how much we have changed.

You don't need a man to protect you from these people who wish to abuse you. That being said, joining a group of strong women (fellow female ranchers, a church group, etc) and absorbing that strength can really give you a confidence boost. Heck, even just hanging around men who respect you will help. Just know that you don't deserve to be mistreated and those who think you do aren't worth their weight in spit. Any man or women who thinks you should just roll over and take abuse have got their heads on wrong.

When I need a little boost when people have been particularly harsh to me, I make it a point to come in this thread and I read stories about all these strong women who clearly have their priorities straight. It's encouraging and reminds me that no person can abuse or hurt me without my permission.

 

[Beekissed]

I think she may be dealing with a whole 'nother culture where she lives than we have here in America. I don't think Libya is a bastion of women's rights and great support systems for dealing with the menfolk of that country. I could be wrong as I don't know her individual circumstances but from what I read, it's not as advanced as here in the states in that area of the culture.

http://www.ifes.org/~/media/Files/P...ibya Status of Women Survey Report_final2.pdf

 

[Blooie]

I think she may be dealing with a whole 'nother culture where she lives than we have here in America. I don't think Libya is a bastion of women's rights and great support systems for dealing with the menfolk of that country. I could be wrong as I don't know her individual circumstances but from what I read, it's not as advanced as here in the states in that area of the culture.

http://www.ifes.org/~/media/Files/P...ibya Status of Women Survey Report_final2.pdf

Absolutely right. And finding a church group is kinda difficult as well. Christians are still killed there with regularity and, so far, impunity. But don't worry, OldMomma...you gots us!