The Front Porch Swing

[Tomtommom]

Sounds like a good childrens book.

 

[Blooie]

I'll tell it....scoot off that there bucket, Blooie, it's my turn to tell a yarn. One night as I walking through my house I noticed my outdoors cat, who used to visit indoors of an evening, was all fuzzed up, back arched and staring at the front storm door like there was a ghost on the porch. Well...me being me, I says "What you lookin' at, Spike?" and swung open that door...

......and in walked a possum. He just waddled right through the door so quick I didn't have a chance to stop him and he looked up at me as if to say, "Thanks, lady...now..where's the vittles?".

He then walked over to the table and sat underneath it like he was some kinda housecat. I got the broom and tried to sweep him out of there. He refused to budge, hissed at me and gritted his teeth at me. The cat just continued to stare and bug out. Once again I try to sweep the possum from under the table and once again he hisses and refuses to be rolled outta there.

I'm thinking, "I'll fix you, buster! I'm bringing in the hounds of Baskerville to paint yer little red wagon!" and I went outside to fetch the two dogs. I bring them into the house and they gallop into the kitchen and into the living room, right past the cat and the possum who sits under the table. They are just bouncing around and happy to be invited in for a TV night. I call them back into the kitchen and tell them, "There is a possum under the table....possum! Look at the possum!" and I point dramatically at the possum.

****Now, here I must add that these dogs are stone cold killers of possum on a normal day when they find one strolling onto the premises...but apparently this isn't a normal day and they feel the possum "belongs" to me because it's in the house. Anything that belongs to the pack leader is off limits.****

They look at where I am pointing, run over and sniff at the possum, run to the cat and sniff the cat, run back to the sink and look at me as if to say, "Ugly new cat. Cool. Now...where's the vittles?" I point at the possum once again and say, "Git the possum!!" and they look in that direction, look back at me, tails wagging and tongues lolling...waiting for the treat. Whatever treat, any treat...all they know is when they get treats in the house they have to be eaten in the kitchen and not on the carpet in the living room. Sigh.

I immediately rescinded their "Dog Cards" and put them back outside. Hounds of Baskerville? More like poodles on parade. I put the cat outside...he's no help either. He is just staring at the "ugly kitty" and waiting to see what the woman will do about it. I suspect he and this possum are old enemies as someone has been stealing the cat food off my front porch for some nights now.

One of the boys was due to come home in a few minutes so I thought...hmmmm...I'll get a man to get Earl out from under the table! Right then my oldest son comes home and he's carrying some take out food in one hand, greets me cheerfully, says he's "starving" which he clearly is not...he's the size of a bull moose, but that's neither here nor there....

I'm surprised he hasn't noticed the large, stinking, white "cat" under the table...I shouldn't have been...men notice so few things when food is present. He quickly sits down at the table and starts to eat before I can warn him about Earl, the unwanted house guest.

I tell him slowly and succinctly, "There is a possum under that table!".

He pauses briefly, mouth full... "What?".

I grit my teeth in my best imitation of Earl and speak through them as I repeat, "There is a possum under that table. He came in a little bit ago and I can't get him out, so I need you to get him out of there for me."

He pauses in his food inhalation, looks under the table and says, "Huh! That's a possum."

Ya think?

I says, "Well! Git him outta there!" while inside I'm quietly steaming as I have had it up to the gills with Earl's bad manners, his ingratiating grin and his big ugly teeth, not to mention his smell. Did you all know possums stink like something crawled up inside them and just before it died it just had strength enough left to fart? Well..they do.

My son continues to eat... lifts up one cheek and rips off a huge fart.... "THAT'LL get him outta there!".... and goes back to snarfing down a burger and fries. I'm suddenly feeling very much like picking up the possum and placing it on his fries.

I prop open the front door and wait....fuming over the combined fumes of wimpy man and ugly possum... and the ineffectual cats, dogs and menfolk in my life...then I demand HIS "Man Card", stride over to the table, hold my breath, bend down and take Earl by the tail and march to the door. I give him a big swinging toss off the porch and as he strolls away he looks back as if to say, "So much for southern hospitality! Hmmmph! Watch yer cat food, lady....I'll be back!".

So I named him Earl because Earl has gotta die! I caught him by the tail a few years later..same possum (had the end of his tail missing)...and tossed him off the porch again. Maybe his tail is missing because it's been worn off by folks tossing Earl to the curb? Seems like I never have a gun handy when Earl comes to visit.

Now, every time we see a possum dead on the road we yell, "Look!! It's Earl's granny or nephew or uncle or some such..." because Earl never dies. That's my possum story and that's how I know they can be caught easily by the tail and carried in that manner, without risk to life and limb...wash yer hands good after.....

I hereby relinquish my Story Laureate bucket! (Might as well - I fell off it laughing anyway!)

 

[MistyMountain]

Yes!! the Darlings! thank you, that would have bugged me all day.

I do hear the joy in the music, that is why it tickles me so that they are so dead-pan while they make it.
I grew up with Polka Bands, another music of joy. But the musicians are always so full of joy and energy when they play that it spills over to the listeners.

I love music that makes me want to dance!

Ooo polka. Only in Wisconsin do you learn to polka in Elementary, Middle, and High School!!

Great story Bee! Loved it!!

Got a sad call today, one that kinda throws a kink in our current plans and hits the Fast Forward button on others. It was always in the plans that if my horse was still kick'n that he would come live here with us. Right now he lives about an hour and a half away on my FIL farm with another horse and 45 acres to.. be a horse. His companion is old for a horse, at least 33 years old. This past year has been rough for him, he has almost no teeth left and keeping weight on him takes a lot of time and even more money. Supplements supplements supplements. Anyhow, we were in no rush to get him(my horse) here because General (FIL horse) is old and we would not separate them. If General were younger we would have taken them both. General has taken a huge turn for the worse and it is only a matter of time before a decision is made. I know this is rough for my FIL. He lost his old mare 2 years ago. She was special. She was the one all of his children learned to ride on. It was hard watching him say good-bye and telling her she did her job, she raised the kids. Now, General has been with him for at least 25 years. Just sad.

Fencing needs to be done. Decisions need to be made on where that fencing needs to go. Ideally we would have time to finish clearing the Virginia Pines in the back and getting good pasture growing. We have 7 pines on the ground now that need to be split and stacked. The front property is split in two sections. One larger side, big enough for a horse and maybe a small companion, and the other side which the orchard occupies. The larger side would be the ideal place at this point in time. Currently mowed, 3-ish acres, park like setting. Pretty really. No more mowing… except for the weeds and things a picky horse will avoid. Sounds good, right? Well… the 9 maple trees really make that one not so shiny. Maple trees, specifically red maple trees, are poisonous to horses.

Much work to be done. I think we will keep him where he is at until fall.

In other news, the blackberries are blooming and peach trees have tiny peaches on them!! Need to get a good recipe for cobbler!!! Gotta get the ice-cream maker out! Have a great night, everyone!

 

[TexasLisa]

Ooo polka. Only in Wisconsin do you learn to polka in Elementary, Middle, and High School!!

Great story Bee! Loved it!!

Got a sad call today, one that kinda throws a kink in our current plans and hits the Fast Forward button on others. It was always in the plans that if my horse was still kick'n that he would come live here with us. Right now he lives about an hour and a half away on my FIL farm with another horse and 45 acres to.. be a horse. His companion is old for a horse, at least 33 years old. This past year has been rough for him, he has almost no teeth left and keeping weight on him takes a lot of time and even more money. Supplements supplements supplements. Anyhow, we were in no rush to get him(my horse) here because General (FIL horse) is old and we would not separate them. If General were younger we would have taken them both. General has taken a huge turn for the worse and it is only a matter of time before a decision is made. I know this is rough for my FIL. He lost his old mare 2 years ago. She was special. She was the one all of his children learned to ride on. It was hard watching him say good-bye and telling her she did her job, she raised the kids. Now, General has been with him for at least 25 years. Just sad.

Fencing needs to be done. Decisions need to be made on where that fencing needs to go. Ideally we would have time to finish clearing the Virginia Pines in the back and getting good pasture growing. We have 7 pines on the ground now that need to be split and stacked. The front property is split in two sections. One larger side, big enough for a horse and maybe a small companion, and the other side which the orchard occupies. The larger side would be the ideal place at this point in time. Currently mowed, 3-ish acres, park like setting. Pretty really. No more mowing… except for the weeds and things a picky horse will avoid. Sounds good, right? Well… the 9 maple trees really make that one not so shiny. Maple trees, specifically red maple trees, are poisonous to horses.

Much work to be done. I think we will keep him where he is at until fall.

In other news, the blackberries are blooming and peach trees have tiny peaches on them!! Need to get a good recipe for cobbler!!! Gotta get the ice-cream maker out! Have a great night, everyone!

Sending a BIG hug to your FIL. I hate decisions like that.

Lisa

 

[Blooie]

Sending a BIG hug to your FIL. I hate decisions like that.

Lisa

Me too....and me too!

 

[OHhappychicks]

Ahem....AHEM.... I have an announcement to make, now that I don't have to worry about black sedans pulling up in my driveway or being shot at dawn....

After a 7 month deployment as the nuclear reactor operator on board the USS San Juan, my grandson is back in the arms of his wife and baby boy! I am so proud...and emotional. I remember all of the goodbyes, the deployments, and the joys of homecoming so well, but when it hits home in my family again I feel all of those things so strongly it physically hurts. I am so proud of him and of all the young men and women who work long hours with too little pay and, too often I'm afraid, too little respect and gratitude from their own government. I told Jamie tonight, "May they have quiet times, may they have rowdy times, and may all of them be family times....until the next deployment."

I think I'm gonna go out and hug my husband. I feel the need to tell him how much his sacrifices for 26 years meant, just one more time.

Thank them for me! We ARE proud of them and so appreciate them. No words can express!! Hug that grandson for me!!

 

[OHhappychicks]

Today was a WORK day. I'm filthy from head to toe, I'm exhausted, I'm aching in every cell of my being....and I'm overjoyed about it all!

In the Bible it says God gave man work as a gift and I truly know what is meant by that...what in the world would we do with ourselves if we didn't have some kind of productive, creative work to occupy our time? Get up to mischief, mostly.

Now, granted, most of what folks call work in this world is not something to get overjoyed about, but good ol' get yer hands in the dirt and build, grow or otherwise make something useful or beautiful? THAT'S a gift! That I have the health and mobility to even do anything at all is a gift. That I live where I don't have to ask permission is a gift. The freedom to come and go, the abundance to buy tools or have electricity to use them, to buy materials, the ability to learn how to use them to make something...that's all a gift from the Lord and I thank Him for it all. I love You, Father!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day today!

Give a shout out if you had a great day, a great moment, a great thing happen to you today!

This thread goes sooo fast!! It's only been a couple of days and I'm about 19 pges behind!!! AMEN, Bee. We had a glorious day in God's house today!! Gold City was in church this evening. Good worshipful music and Awesome preaching! It's been good to be in the house of the Lord!!!

 

[OHhappychicks]

That is the hardest thing. I did the same for months and months after my mother died in 2003. Moved some of her furniture from CA to VT 4 months later. My cat was in 'her' dresser (now used by my wife) drawer some time later. She loved cats, I was a second from the phone to 'share' before I caught myself. It was not the first or last time.

Look at that tail. He looks like a beauty.


Don't let all that power go to your head

You'll love the 'no hard drive' startup speed. Glad you can work from home again.

Naw, '56 was a GOOD year

I had that too, but fortunately it was back in Feb, not last week!


There were still patches of snow on the dunes on the shore of Lake Michigan in the U.P. Wednesday even though it was ~45F! NO hint of leaves on the deciduous trees. Found leaves farther south in WI and in eastern Ontario and Vermont.


The situation looks rough but the fact that she WANTS to come to you suggests she is looking for a way to get out and I don't mean just the charges on a permanent record. I think she figured out this guy (and probably other 'friends') are bad, bad, bad. Yeah, it will be hard for her to be out in the country instead of the city but as another porch sitter mentioned, teens text 99% and talk only when they have to. Plus, cell service depends on the company, MAYBE the carrier she uses has a better signal in the hollow (maybe not). We use TracFone 'cause it is cheap and we don't use the phones much. In this area TracFone uses Verizon and there is one corner of the house where you MAYBE get 1 bar of signal, have to drive a couple of miles to the other side of the interstate to use the phones. Some people with ATT can do OK. The tower 3/4 mile down the road? T-Mobile.

And you have internet, lots of TV shows can be found on the internet. And friends, like here on the porch! My older daughter has friends in many countries she knows only through the internet. If she isn't hooked on drugs, my money is she will come out OK as long as the the 'old' 'friends' stay away both physically and on the phone/text/email. Not sure how you help her ignore those contacts which I'm sure will come though not necessarily the ones in person. Don't answer calls from those numbers, don't read texts or emails either. Letting go of them probably won't be easy for her until she has local 'replacement' friends.

That was beautiful Laura.


Mother's Day for me (even though *I* am not a mother) was, well, something else. Since my wife and I were leaving (presumably noon) for Wisconsin to pick up the younger daughter at Beloit, we moved the older daughter and 3 cats on Saturday up to the 'farm' where she is SUPPOSED to be living (if I ever get through the ALWAYS changing list of "must have" projects) so she could take care of the chickens. I was finishing up a temporary sink for the upstairs bathroom when about 11:30 my daughter came to tell me "Mom said she needs you, now" though the now didn't have a huge ring of urgency. But I know my wife wouldn't have sent her if it wasn't NOW! She'd been washing dishes and heard water in the basement. Water going down the drain was coming out the trap for the water heater condensate pump in the main drain. Figured out *I* couldn't do anything, called a plumber who told me to call a septic service. So I did and went back to the sink work waiting for them to call back. Got that call, guy said he would be there in 45 min or so. I finished the sink since it was almost done and daughter didn't want to go downstairs in the middle of the night. As I'm connecting the plumbing, wife pipes up with "or she could have just used the tub to wash her hands". Any of the 3 of us could have thought of THAT out a few days before!

The guy showed up just as we were leaving so I showed him out back where the tank is, and I had NO IDEA other than where the pipe comes out of the basement. He poked around some but wasn't having a lot of luck in the ~15' to 20' MAX it should be by code. If it were closer to the house it would be under the deck. Well, we HAD to go so we left daughter and her checkbook in charge and drove the 5.5 hours to Pembroke, ON. Called before we got to Cornwall, ON because we don't have service in Canada. The guy had been ABOUT to give up and call someone else from the company that 'finds' tanks when he took a flyer and went farther out in the yard and angled off some where the grass (just starting to grow a week earlier) and dirt 'looked different', found the tank cover. We had talked about the leach field being out that way and how the grass on the house side of the little garden space didn't grow as well as it did on the far side so maybe that gave him an inkling. He jetted the line and had her flush the toilets a couple of time to make sure it wasn't some old, unused, tank given the location then pumped it since it was about time anyway. He said they sometimes 'grandfather' and put new tank where old ones were when they need to be replaced rather than force a new dig to meet current code. So daughter got to write her FIRST check (for $600! because it was weekend OT). Had a nice dinner at Santa Fe in Pembroke, then continued the drive on Monday.

Rest of the week was: Mon 9 hour drive to Sault Ste Marie, ON; Tue 9 hour drive to Beloit; Wed back to Sault Ste Marie, Thur back to Pembroke, Fri home to VT - where I find out older daughter doesn't want to be at the farm because I don't have the washer and dryer set up yet (whole other story) and it will be too loud when I work on the house, etc, etc even though this is where she WANTS to live (women!). Wife and younger daughter were going to the other house anyway so my wife could do the laundry and younger daughter wants to be. She wants nothing to do with the 'farm' house, it isn't "home". She will have no choice once I get the other one fixed up and rented but at this rate, she'll be back in Wisconsin by then. So they all leave and I go try to finish fixing the rear tire on the garden tractor mower so I can mow the grass that should have been mowed days earlier (ending in yet another failure which you don't need to read about). Helped the neighbor across the street for awhile then put the girls (chickens) up for the night and went in to eat, about 7. Call from older daughter - no hot water and the tank is leaking.

Like I need MORE problems! To be fair, I knew it was going and turned the cold water to it off on Sat since with no one in the house for a week, it could be a REAL mess. But I was hoping it would hold off until we weren't living there so I could replace it (need to do some plumbing work on the 'new' tank - pulled from the 'farm' house) without impacting anyone. Day late and a dollar short, again. So wife went to her parent's to do a little laundry and take a shower since she had to work today. Leaving soon to go replace the water tank.


1941 sink that was in the house when we bought it on Q&D 'vanity' made from left over pieces of hard maple floor and first floor ceiling boards which are also the subfloor for the second floor.


Temporary support for temporary part of the hand rail.



Finished upstairs 'balcony' handrail with 'extended gooseneck' fitting allowing both min railing height on the second floor (42"), max railing height on the stairs (38") and continuous railing usable without taking one's had off. A standard gooseneck is vertical at the post, minimally usable going up and not useable at all going down. IF there were space upstairs AND there was something to anchor the post to, the 'proper' way would have been to move the post and railing back about a foot so the rising railing would meet the quarter turn on the post with only a small amount of the over easing fitting. But, not the case.







Bruce

Very nice Bruce!

 

[Blooie]

Very nice Bruce!

I agree! In fact, I may consider turning this old trailer into a two story just so I can have a bannister like that one! I miss woodwork - real woodwork, not this 1970s paper thin gen-u-ine imitation paneling!

 

[rrrmamma]

Has anyone here raised quail? My postman knows I have chickens and an incubator. A few weeks ago he dropped off 24 quail eggs with my husband. I don't even know what kind they are. Well, to humor everyone I popped them in my still air incubator, kept a few wet sponges in there, because I did read that they need more moisture than chicks. I came in this afternoon to 3 hatched now I am up to 7 bouncing, cheeping, tiny birds. Both of my brooders are full, my husband just reminded me that the Buckeyes he ordered for me as a surprise should be in tomorrow. And my daughter and granddaughter are on their way from MO and should arrive tomorrow night or Tuesday. I have no idea what I am going to do with all these chicks. I read that quail are very sensitive to cold and I need to step down their heat over a period of time. If any of you has any experience with quail please help. rrrmamma is feeling slightly overwhelmed tonight. Hubby has been working on the new coop for two days and all that is "almost done" is the overlay on the floor. I will be on the quail site tomorrow if I have time, but still have a lot to do with to get ready for my granddaughter!