Ciro nodded. Judging by the silence, it'd taken a lot for her to admit that. No one liked admitting they weren't okay.Aella leaned back slightly when he spoke, his gentle voice still seeming far too loud for her. Part of her had a retort on her tongue, a lie instantaneously forming. A laugh would be forced and they'd fall back into silence and she wouldn't have to answer a question she hated.
No one asked her how she was, and when they did she didn't know how to answer. The strange predicament she found, was that when people ask how you are, they don't really care. Normally it was asked carelessly, like they had to ask but silently wished you would stay silent and say you were fine.
Most of the time people didn't care.
In the light of the flames, her face twitched, her nose scrunching slightly as she thought. Realizing that the silence had been drawing on uncomfortably long, she drew in a heavy breath. She finally drew her gaze away from the fire to settle on Ciro's. It was nearly impossible to admit, and she thought about looking away and not uttering another word to him, but she forced herself to keep eye contact and speak.
"I've...I've been better."
Especially not those who were used to only looking to themselves for help.
Meeting her gaze, he found that it was forced, and looked away for her.
"It's hard to fix."
He left the slot for the direct object, the receiver of the fixing, wide open. They had to fix others, they had to fix themselves, and now they had to fix the world.
It was hard to do it all.
"There's a man back home," Ciro began suddenly, surprising himself probably more than she was. "Señor Serrano. He had a good life, good job, great family. But he sure loved his drink. Then he lost everything good until all he had left was his alcohol. His wife gave him the option to drop the drinking or be kicked out."
Why was he telling her this? It wasn't even entirely relevant; certainly Hana and the others weren't irredeemable alcoholics. But he got the distinct notion Aella didn't want to talk about herself. So Ciro the storyteller was going to fill the lull.
"He got kicked out. Now he roams the streets with never more than a dozen pesos in his pockets, a headlamp around his neck, and always, always, that wretched bottle not far from his lips. In the rare event he's sober, h-he calls me…” Unexpectedly, Ciro teared up. It was the first time in a whole few days that he’d lost it over the life the vortex had taken him from. And, weirdly enough, it was Señor Serrano that got him crying. “…he calls me his son. But, the thing is, he could have his own sons back- and his daughters. All he has to do is drop the bottle in his fist. But he won’t. He will not, and what he also will not do is admit he’s going about anything wrong. He’s got his pride.” He shook his head, but he kept his eyes open and let the dim world spin around him. “Pride. People and their pride.”