The Joys of getting older

[Crickett]

*Just before the funeral services, the under taker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,"How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied,"two years older than me."
"So that would make you 96." the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Yep! Hardly worth going home, is it?"*

*It's nice to be here....At my age it's nice to be anywhere*

*I'm retired.....I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today*

*When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW. Now I don't care about the W.*

*I was always taught to respect my elders....Now I don't have anyone to respect*


*Sometimes I wake up grumpy....and other days I just let him sleep*

*Quit worrying aboput your health....It'll go away*

*That snap, crackle, and pop in the morning....AIN'T my freaking Rice Krispies!*

*I'm so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for the money up front*

*I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet enginge, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts of dementia, poor circulation, can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, and I've lost all of my friends. Thank God I still have my driver's license!*

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, and I've lost all of my friends. Thank God I still have my driver's license!*

My father-in-law is 92 and has his driver's license!!

2 days before his 92nd birthday he went in to work and told them he quit!!​