The laziest person in the world contest...

[duluthralphie]

I have decided to enter the laziest person in the world contest today!

I am on my 49th cup of coffee so far today. The most energy I have expended is turning my head to read the Texas Like temperatures on my indoor/outdoor thermometer.

I have been watching TV, But I really dislike the channel it is on. I would change the channel but the remote is 16 inches from the keyboard, and it is not worth the effort to reach for it.


I have lots of work to do outside. I think I will let it go for another week or two.



I am sure there is no one lazier than me today.. I would go to the awards ceremony to get the cash prize, but that's a lot of work to do..

 

[duluthralphie]

Here is a list of my notable accomplishments so far today:








Thank you for reviewing the list..

 

[orpington13]

Has anyone one heard of a leap year?


It is when, every four years, I gain enough energy to jump. I can jump 1 inch now! it is a real improvement, But at the same time SO HARD!!!

 

[duluthralphie]

I woke up now and need to roll over, can one of you come and help me roll over?

I need to pass gas too, but not sure if I have the energy to open the sphincter for that.



Why if bed is suppose to be so restful, do we have to pass gas and roll over? Doing that hardly makes the bed and sleep seem worth while.




Never mind, the gas has left my system, I think I will take a nap now,,,,,,,But still could use someone to roll me over.

 

[orpington13]

I am so lazy, and fat, that when I sat on an iPod, I invented the iPad.

 

[duluthralphie]

I think the garden would disqualify you. While the clothes heap is admirable, you do eventually wash them, again another disqualification. If you had some else wash them or ordered new ones by proxy you might have had a chance.


Just to give you a reference though, if I should accidentally roll out of bed, I would not hit the floor, I would roll onto a pile of clothes as tall as the top of the bed at least. I might have to roll up hill to roll out.


But then the only time I have been known to roll over is while having a nightmare. I try to not move while awake.

 

[BantyChooks]

Well Ralphie, since you don't want to move, you won't care about and will ignore the quacking and muddy web prints across your floors as I show the newest resident of your home her private room...... Right?
-Banti

 

[rIrs roost]

I had all my teeth pulled so I wouldn't have to brush them.

 

[Rod-T]

I don't take a shower because in 6 months id just have to do it again. . So what's the point?

 

[orpington13]

I am so lazy, and fat, so whenever I look down at myself I say, "I can't believe it's not butter!"