The life of a chicken

[Chicks Galore3]

uh....no....

 

[Chicks Galore3]

Anyone want more.......

 

[wildriverswolf90]

YES YES YES!!!

 

[Chicks Galore3]

five days had passed since the attack. Person didn't look as happy. she didn't do anything with us. not petting. no holding. no treats. no outside time. no nothing. It was boring. a few of the chicks started pecking. I was tempted to start to. But finally a week after, Person looked happy. she gave us some mealworms and pick each of us up in turn and cooed to us. FINALLY. but i was worried. Where was bella? I missed her. Alot. Could she of...no. It was to ugly to think about. I still had night mares...Screams and claws and paws. It was horrible. Things were horrible. on top of it all, i felt sick. I didn't have the energy to eat or drink. one day person took me up and looked into my eyes. "Looks like you are going to the sick room with bella." BELLA! The name perked me up. She was alive! but the sick room. what was this evil sounding place. I didn't know but i was about to find out!

 

[Fussy8]

I like it lots!

 

[Chicks Galore3]

As it turned out, i loved the sick room. It was nice and cozy and dim. It smelled like Person 1. i was put it a box all alone, though. I guess i had some dangerous illness that i would die in solitude from. Person visited often and i wasn't bored. I was to weak to do anything any way. I didn't have a sniffly nose, just zilch energy. As i regained strength i started to explore. I figured out there was another box. Peeps came out of it, rarely. I peeped back. "Hello? whose there?" "SHIMMER! it's me, bella!" "BELLA! oh bella how are you? ARe you sick? Hurt? Dead?"
Bella chuckled. "Not dead. Not sick, at lease not anymore. Just hurt from the cat. I'll tell you what happened...."

 

[xC0000005]

Like the others have said,it has potential. The key thing is to know where you are going. You need to map out where each little bit goes, and set it up with a beginning, middle and end. Each tiny chapter should read like a story, and any chapter that doesn't complete an arc should end with a cliff hanger (You are doing great at that - look at how each of your previous sections ends - with the chick at the edge of a proverbial cliff, and the reader wanting to know what happens next).

My advice: Slow down, map out the arc of your story and how you want each little bit to play out. Every piece should communicate something you want to relay to the others, or lay the foundation for a later piece. Think about us from a chick's point of view. Our hands alone are larger than their bodies, we radiate warmth in familiar and strange ways. Find a persistent way to see the hairless chickens that tend the chicks, and develop it.

Good luck!

 

[Chicks Galore3]

Thanks for that bit of advice! i have a 30 page story going on the computer, but it is about horses. I can write about horses easily, but I am trying to expand my category! I'll post a bit of it here:

“Watch Pirate now, Sammy. He’s extra wild today.” Her dad warned, giving her a boost onto the 17-hand thoroughbred. Pirates Treasure pranced away though, and Samantha had to ungracefully fling herself into the saddle. She caught up the reins quickly and pulled Pirate to a stand still. “Warm him up, then breeze him a quarter mile, alright?” Mr. Reese instructed. Samantha nodded.

“Easy, boy.” Samantha murmured. Although she barely let out the reins, Pirate still tried to jump out, but only made it into a bouncy trot before Samantha brought him down to a walk. He snorted and pranced his way around the track. Cautiously Samantha let him out into a trot. He eagerly went into the faster gait, and then voiced his dislike at being held in. He tossed his head. “It’s okay boy, easy.” Samantha focused on staying on. Finally, Samantha let him out into a canter. Pirate lunged out, jerking Samantha’s head back. She quickly regained balance and straightened him out. That didn’t satisfy him and before long Pirate wanted to go all the way out. He decided he had had enough of Samantha’s holding him back and reared. Samantha held on tight. “Settle down, easy, stand.” Samantha tried to calm the horse down. When Pirate landed, he took off. It dawned on Samantha that Pirate had gotten the bit between his teeth! That meant she couldn’t control him. “Pirate! Steady, calm down boy.” Samantha urgently asked the horse. Pirate saw another colt, and charged after him, screaming the horse’s cry of war. “Watch out!” Samantha shouted. The startled rider pulled his mount up just in time, but now Pirate was headed straight toward the rail. Samantha vaguely remembered hearing shouts of panic before she screamed as Pirate went right through the rail, throwing Samantha to the side. Then, all went black.