The never ending joys of my sleeptalking/walking

Did you ever see the website for the Sleep Talking Man? There is some foul language so I won't post the link, but you can look it up in google. He can be really hilarious!

 

Last night my 6 yr old DD was in the throes of that not quite awake stage and she wailed to my DH "but I don't wanna be a shark"

Then this morning she indignantly denied saying it...of course she doesn't remember But we do!

 

LOL! I talk in my sleep too!

Of course it could be worse. I sleep with my eyes open. Yes, open. As in, you walk in and look at me and I appear awake. My room is always in my peripheral dreams. About 2 weeks ago I woke my hubby up insisting the ceiling was caving in......... yeah, the ceiling fan was on and it appeared that the ceiling was moving..... ever since then I've gotten the sleep mask thing, and I actually stopped dreaming about my artwork, TV, walls, ceiling fan and clothes.

 

I used to think I had to solve a math problem whe someone woke me up as a kid. I remember desperately counting on my fingers. I never seemed to be able to get the answer. Now, no one can rattle a door knob when I'm sleeping. I tend jump straight out of bed and charge whatever "intruder" happens to be around. I've been told I use some colorful language in the process too. I wake up on my feet with only a vague memory of what happened.

My younger daughter has always had night terrors. She has improved as she has gotten older but she still says some strange things. I once responded to my older DD's screams to find the little one, still asleep, on top of her saying, "I told you not to do it! Now were in trouble!" (They had drawn on their closet wall that day.). They were around 6 and 3 at the time.

 

I remember when my son was about 6 or so... my hubby and I were in the living room watching TV one night. Out of the corner of my eye, I see our son go running into the kitchen behind me. I look at my hubby and we were like... huh?... Then we saw the refrigerator light go on... and I yelled for my hubby to go get him FAST... I had a bad feeling...

When hubby got to him, his tidy-whities were around his ankles and he was ready to let loose all over my vegetables! When we finally woke him up... my hubby was like... "so tell me... when was the last time you lifted the toilet lid and the light went on?"

We will never let him live that one down.

D

 

My DH is the consumate sleep talker... and the tales he tells, sometimes it goes on for better than 1/2 an hour!

The best story ever started when I threw the covers off because I was hot, instantly it set him to talking...

"You know, those female ants are pretty smart, they dig tunnels so they don't get hot, they get a nice breeze."

Silence for several long seconds (time enough for me to dash out and grab pencil and paper)

"If it says 'Ant made' you can eat it."

A brief silence puncuates each utterance...

"I don't know if we can sell ants at the flea market, I'll have to check on that."

"Beeep.... beeep.....beeep....beeep, anybody back there?"

by this time I am laughing so hard I am crying and can't see to write anymore, but it continued on about ants for another 20 minutes or so.


I actually woke him up laughing one night and he joined in the laughter then asked why we were laughing. I was struggling with the blankets and he reached over and covered me up then said " There honey, how's that?" I said "Great, thanks." His reply, "See I know what you need, that and rough and tumble cowboy clothes." HUH?

The worst though are the nights he starts asking silly questions and will literally shake me awake to get answers, and of course he never remembers any of it!!

 

We were camping one night with some friends and her 11 year old daughter comes storming out of the camper. We all just looked at each other assuming we knew what was wrong. She has a 10 year old sister who she constantly fights with. We just thought she was mad at her sister. Then we realized she was about to walk right into the lake. We took off after her. Wheh she half woke up she yelled at her dad "where's the camper?". Once fully awake and she realized we were all laughing at her hysterically she was so embarrassed/angry she screamed at the top of her lungs and ran back to the camper in the wrong direction.