Yep, I like properly raised kids.....
it was funny, I was getting feed bags from the store last week, and child #3 and 4 were with me. They were helping me, so of course they wanted to carry the bags, load up the big flat cart, and push it about. As I paid, they started out the store with the bags, I warned #4 that the cart was super heavy, and if he wanted to take it down the ramp into the parking lot, he better spin it around and go down backwards, since it would be easier to control. (I had 5 or 6 bags, 50 pounds each). It didn't look like he would do what I suggested, and he is a very skinny and tiny 8 yr old. I just shrugged. If they fell off, they would have to reload the cart, and he would learn, whatever. (there was no car in the way to crash into)
Anyway, some late 30s guy from the store offered to help them, and went out with them to help with the bags.
Bags loaded up, we get in the car, and I start to drive away, and child #3 says "WOW!!! I hate dealing with other adults! They always treat me like I am a little kid! You treat me like an adult!" Child #4 agreed.
I think the difference is that I am very clear.....in lots of things I tell them the easiest way to do it, but whatever, if they want to screw it up, it is all good. In the things that matter to me, I clearly say what may or not happen (the 8 yr old wanted to move the 50pound feed bags, I told him he doesn't get to move them until he is bigger, he only weighs 10 pounds more than the feed bag, so he does NOT get to carry them, period.) Child #3, even though he is only a coupe years older than #4 is about twice the size and weight, and does get to haul bags, but I don't let him do many or often.
The guy from the store offered to help, the kids said no thank you, they didn't want any help, and he helped them anyway. I think that is what the boys disliked.
My baby sister said something about how I am much more laid back than most parents. I do put my foot down at things that will cause death, brain injury, and eye injury. Also, I am pretty clear that if there is a risk of stitches, dismemberment, or broken bones, it really needs to be done during office hours, SO much cheaper!
I say the same thing about office hours.

I treat mine almost the same, but it's my overly-protective childhood thing that gets in the way of that. The *fear of what if* fairy likes to sit on my shoulder during those times I go off on a rant of safety.

