The worst parent in the world.

[Alleyoops25]

Here for about a month my 3 year olds black mouth cur has decided he needed to run off. We had found this dog at the pound, and my son was instantly attach to him. So any thing were going great with this dog. And then for some reason he kept getting loose and running off. He jumped the 6 1/2 foot fence in the dog run. So to stop him from that we put electic fence around the top of it. this dog run goes off our back porch and runs clear around the side of the house. So after we did this he started tearing through the screen and lattice work on the the porch. When he did this he disapeared for a whole day, and the next morning I recieved a call from a elderly couple that live a couple miles away and tells us that they have our dog, so my DH goes and gets the dog and brings him back. So then we put a cable lead on his collar and tied it to the inside of the dog run. Well the stupd dog actually broke the cable and ran off agian!!!! And he went right back to these elderly couples house agian. I was totaly frustrated, and I am dealing with a guy that had a dog injure a chicken. And the dog has been put down. So I was at my witts end and didnt know what to do. I had tried every thing to keep this dog contianed. So I told my DH to go and tell this couple that they could keep the dog. ( they told me that they wanted him). And I resolved to try to find my son a puppy. I think if we get a pup rather than a full grown dog we will have better luck getting it to stay here, and take up to my son better. So this dog has been over their for about four days now. I wasnt really sure where they were exactly. So my duaghter sells eggs and I took her and my little boy out to sell the eggs. We came by this house. And the people were out side with the dog. I didnt see them because they had a tall hedge and I let the kids go deliver to some people acrossed the street. The dog heard my son and came running out to him. My son was so exicited to see his lost dog and was trying to bring him back to the car, well the guy that we gave him to came out and grab the dog by the collar and said, "Come on Max". My son about had a fit. He screamed, " NO THats MY SCOOBY DOO!!!" "I AM TAKING HIM HOME," I had to get out of the car and I had to tell my son that his scooby dog wanted to live with these people and that we were going to get him a new puppy. This didnt do a thing to settle him down, and it resulted in me having to pyshicallly pull him back to the car kicking and screaming. And he keeps trying to go and get his dog back. I dont know what to do, I thought I was doing right by giving them the dog. Now I want to go and try to get the dog back. I feel like the worst parent breaking my sons heart by giving away his dog. And I cant find a black mouth cur dog anywhere. I know they are popular in the south, but up here they pretty rare. I have been literally in tears because of this, I just dont know what to do.

 

[DuckLady]

I think you are a good parent. Sometimes we teach by NOT giving in. You are teaching your children that sometimes we have to think of others, in this case an animal's happiness, before personal wants.
We have all been in a stuation where our wants collide with an animals best interests and it is a hard thing to do the right thing sometimes. It can be heartbreaking, but the bottom line is what is the best for the dog?
The dog is obviously happier with the older couple. Maybe the dog came from a home that had no children and maybe his former owners were the same age as the couple he "adopted".

You did good letting the dog stay there.

 

[Jsto]

First of all, don't knock yourself down. You, as a parent, made a choice. I know it's got to be hard to see your son like this, BUT the dog kept escaping, which put him at risk of being injured or killed should he reach the street. That would have been even more heartbreaking for your son. If that dog is hell bent on living with that couple, maybe you could set something up with them where your son can go visit the dog on a regular basis.

Get him to calm down and explain to him the dangers of the dog refusing to stay in the yard.

 

[Peaguy]

We all know that some animals harbor a "secret sense" it seems that they know what is coming up in the (near?) future and can help us to prepare to face a tragedy or whatever by adding extra support /love/attention to our daily routine?, Perhaps this dog realizes this couple needs him for their own protection more than your son needs him since he has such great parents looking out for his every need, why does he need a dog to watch over what is already being taken care of so well? Maybe this couple has no one? or is facing some unforeseen calamity in the near future and needs the extra attention/ support/ protection? Obviously the dog feels some need to be with them, Just another one of those "miracles" of nature we as humans may never understand? You kinda just have to stand back in awe and admire his tenacity to be with this couple whatever heartache it means to you and or your son.

 

[Alleyoops25]

I know what you guys are saying, and I did feel it was the right choice. The problem is my son. He has already had another dog prior to this one. Her name was Hunny a black mouth cur just like this one. ANyway we were out for a walk, and I had the dog on a leash. And a car came barreling down the road, it was A teenager who was testing the limits of his own life. Anyway I seen it coming and stepped off the road, with the kids. and this kid didnt swirve into the other lane, instead he swirved toward us, the dog was about six foot from us peeing, and Well he swirved to hit our dog. She was literally ripped out of my hands. And my son was right there and witnessed his dogs murder. the dog went up the car and through the windsheild. And the kids went off the other side of the road into a ditch. Geuss what the kid was stoned out of is mind and drunk. And he thought it would be cool to run over the dog, and probably us. That was is first heart break. He laid out on that dogs grave and cried forever. HE didnt understand that his dog wasnt coming back. And I had to watch him because he would get up in the middle of the night because he couldnt sleep with out the dog. And he would go and try to lay by her grave, and the was last fall when it started getting really cold. And the we found scooby, and he served as her replacement, since we had that dog my son was able to stop morining the loss of Hunny. Now this dog is gone, and he thinks in his little mind that he was stollen from him, ( which he kind of was). He was up all last night throw up and balling his head off, refused to eat anything last night and this morning. I mean this has literally made him sick. And he keeps begging me to go get his dog back. And I couldnt do that no matter how much I wanted to. The people have already gotten attached to him, taken him in to the vet for a check up, and have pretty much attach themselves to him. But man it hurts to see my baby get his heart broken, especially two times in the same year. And this kid honestly loved both dogs more than a pet, but like a sibling. And the only thing thing I can hope to do is find a puppy for him. I wont ever get another adult dog at the pound, chances are that they were strays that loved to run loose. And I dont have the money to pay for a papered dog either. I just hope I can find him a good dog that will stick by him. In the mean time I have to watch him because he is hell bound to go get his dog back.

 

[Rosalind]

Three is pretty young to have a dog. My mother didn't even let me be responsible for a goldfish at that age! Some dogs just can't be allowed to run outdoors on their own--they have to be supervised and on a leash at all times. I know my aunt's Newfoundland absolutely cannot be left outdoors, even on a run and with an Invisible Fence, and she raised it from a puppy. Maybe the dog was at the pound in the first place because it ran away, who knows, but if your circumstances don't allow for a dog that needs lots of supervision or needs to be indoors, then it's probably better not to get a dog.

At three years old, I guarantee the kid will get over it and probably won't remember it as an adult--although you can always remind him of it as a teenager, particularly when you are meeting his new girlfriend

. Anyway, it's probably good for the kid to learn that pets are not replaceable and are a big responsibility.

 

[SunChick]

I wouldn't rush around and find a new dog yet. Let your son grieve. He is 3 and doesn't understand. I have a 3yr old too and boy is this the age of determination! I would not encourage visits with the older couple, they may see that as an intrusion of their privacy and your son will pressure you to get the dog back which will make you feel worse. It will also make it harder for him to let go. Keep telling him that the dog is happy and safe with them and they needed his protection. I know the hardest thing we do is say no, but if we didn't they woudn't learn self restraint. Give him time and when he accepts the new home for the dogand stops grieving then will be the right time for a new animal in his heart. He has to learn to move on and heal before he can accept another new friend---it's never a replacement. Hugs hang in there!

 

[Peaguy]

There you go! Visitation rights! Not to mention that this "older" couple probably are a vast "fount of knowledge".... just think of the opportunity here for hands on history lessons for you and your children from living historians. I know I miss my grandmother and her 11 brothers most of all when it comes story-telling time, Hearing about growing up in small towns on farms during "the war years" what a living treasure I lost when they all passed.

 

[tiffanyh]

Maybe you should try to give him some "closure". Can he write a letter to the dog and say goodbye? or maybe he and teh dog can be "penpals" and the new owner can send pictures. If you were generous to give the dog to them, Im sure they would be willing to help your son deal. (at the very least, you can pose as the dog and "write" back from the dog.

It seems that something where he can still have a connection with the dog would be good. Maybe even he could pick out a toy for him at his new home...I think you can see where I am going with this.

Im sorry for your son. My kids (2 and 4)are very attached to our pets. They havent had any episodes yet when we have lost one, but it is only a matter of time.

Good luck to you and your family.

PS. I hope the punka** little kid who hit your first dog is paying some sort of price.

 

[Cricket]

Since we moved to our farm, our two kids (5 and 7) have lost quite a bit of animals due to various things.

It's hard at first... and no one ever gets the hang of "losing" animals, but it does get better. They learn to cope and understand that things just happen and we must move on.

My kids both witnessed the outcome of our dog's chicken massacre not too long ago. He killed 23 of our hens including my daughter's favorite peking duck.

Hope things get better real soon for your son!!!

Cricket