You know? For all he's putting me through, I still think one of the worst fears I have is for my husband's safety.
He gets into fights.
He is sometimes clumsy (misses steps, and trips over things).
He drives distracted.
He speeds like a racecar driver (I once looked "up" from clipping my nails as we went around a corner on the bike. The spedometer said 103).
The floods. The hurricanes. The tornadoes. The fires. The ice and snow out west. He drives mostly out west. There are too many stupid drivers on the road. I mean besides my husband.
Then there is that he's gone back to drinking. If this company alerts him of drug testing, he can get away with that again too. His family is loaded with cancer. They are almost all dead from it. He is the ONLY male (and his family is more than 3/4 male) that hasn't been diagnosed with cancer. Because he refuses to be tested.
He's not 400 pounds anymore, but he's back to being a heavy smoker, has been obese since he was about four (Meat Loaf had nothing on him!) and is diabetic. He doesn't check his numbers very often.
So, I have to worry about his dying. Worry how I will have to deal with his mother taking over arrangements. Worry ... I just worry.