Toddlers are Quackers

[shawluvsbirds]

My girl always had a really hard time with change of any kind. When I was getting re married she was about 4. She was soo o excited about the wedding and her pretty dress and being a flower girl. . the weekend before the wedding she had to go to her dads.
From then on she would tell me "mommys and daddys are supposed to stay married forever"
I didn't get a single wedding pic with her smiling. It was so sad.
Then her dad stopped showing up to see her for almost a year!! So traumatise her and then take off! Thanks a lot.

 

[BullChick]

Men are scum. Let's all... !
Okay, not funny. It's just so sad how people can be. It's not always the guys, but they seem to have a bigger impact! If I hadn't had good relationships before moving to this state, I would really be messed up. (Chaos, stop laughing! Stop rolling on the floor! Chaos! It's not that funny! )

 

[DwayneNLiz]

so sorry to hear tha Abi but I think Kiki gave a great answer
I hope she settles and readjusts quickly

And of course good morning

 

[BullChick]

Good morning, luv.

 

[Bantambird]

I wish I could help, but the closest thing I've experienced to anything like what you have is when I was a child myself, and my parents wanted to adopt my cousins from my uncle's ex girlfriend, who had them around for the government money. That fell through, as she threatened that if it was tried, she would never let any of us see those cousins again. Of course, now both of those girls have been through the prison system and have several children of their own. One just fled a woman beater boyfriend with her two toddlers, but she herself had been in jail for forging prescriptions to get oxycodone and selling it. I wish I could help them more now, but I worry about how they have stolen from family, and we don't have very much to spare. We help out wherever we can, though.
You are a very strong, independent woman who has been through a lot and is better for the scars. You are wiser and can be there to help duckling whenever she needs you. You are family, forever.

 

[Phage]

When my DD was 6 we were having a surreal conversation about if a ship was sinking who would she choose to put on her life boat.
It was 100% her friends - as "friends are more important than family"
I was it total shock but she was serious. And these girls did not even like her (she was not girly enough).

A decade and a half later this still pains me.

Of course the bratty popular clique group girls "friends" are waiting tables and DD is about to graduate college as an architect.

 

[Phage]

So kids say things because they only have a bit of the picture at one time. There is so much for them to assimilate at once. Confusion about feelings I think is just part of growing up.

 

[room onthebroom]

I know your heart is breaking, but don't let her see it. Just keep smiling & emanating love. They can feel this stuff & she'll come around. In the meantime, I'd keep up the same routines but with very small changes. Instead of squeezing her & saying "mine" which is making her uncomfortable, maybe squeeze her & say "my favorite". I agree with Shaw. Let her know that she is in your heart & no matter what, she will always be in your heart. Let her know that you love her drawings & miss seeing them. Ask if she'd be willing to draw some new pictures that you can keep at your house. Tell her the fun things about school (getting to play with other kids, doing crafts, learning cool new stuff) & let her know that you will be right there just like always, waiting to hear all about it. Let her know that you guys will still watch movies & cook & garden & play just like always. Let her know that feeling scared about change is ok & is normal & tell her you will always be there for her to talk to, to play with & to squeeze.

As for you... Keep smiling & know that this too shall pass. She just needs to process all this new stuff in her head, but deep inside she will always know that you are the one who loves her, that you are the who takes care of her & that you are the one who will always be there for her.

 

[BullChick]

I like it when I can say, "I did that! "
I've been talking to her about school. A month or so ago, I even stopped singing, "Tinkle tinkle, little pee!
How I wonder what you be?
..." and explained that while I love making her laugh, she can't sing that in school. Then I sang the right words. She gets to hear my version on occasion if I'm with her(I'm encouraging her to go to the bathroom alone. Several benefits to that!), but I remind her to keep it here.
She can tell you that she's going to be with her parents, go to school, go to the apartment, supper and bed, go to school... then be here.
I know that she's going to be expected to serve herself at lunch (I have two sisters, and now my mother working in day care), so I'm doing that with her too on occasion. She at least watches me do it.

 

[room onthebroom]

" "Tinkle tinkle, little pee! How I wonder what you be?..."

Oh that's a great one!!! I'm starting to wonder if this is a parent thing? Do we all change the words to Twinkle Twinkle? My parody is, "Twinkle, Twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are?" (Feel free to steal that one, if it helps her not sing about pee in school.)