Toddlers are Quackers

[Cyneswith]

Right when we moved (3 months ago) BOTH my kids went backwards on potty training - DS4 by about a year and a half, DD2 by about 6 months. DS also took a bit of a nose dive right as we started home preschool (he'd wet himself if we let him use the computer.) We just tossed DD's training potty altogether, and DS seems back to normal too, so it didn't take long to get back to normal. Stress/change sometimes causes potty training backsliding.

 

[shawluvsbirds]

Oh. . and I don't think I ever told my d d that she was bad. I tried to make sure she knew bad behavior didn't mean bad person. Especially since her dad was such a @ $$ I often would have to tell her that her daddy loved her and was good. . but he made bad choices.
That being said my d d still ended up with low self esteem and self image. . so I think so much just depends on the personality a child has and how they process information.

 

[BullChick]

Rundown for the newest readers.
Duckling was done (24/7) last March/April. As in 20-mos. I went to a funeral, and didn't see her for a few weeks. I was being punished for not taking her while I was gone.
Potty training was 100% forgotten. She pooped her pants twice. Then one long 24 hours, she was constipated bad! I actually had to keep her in my bed so that I could rub her back, and try to help her deal with the pain when she had to push. During the day, I took off her diaper, and put her on the potty. Of course, she didn't want to sit still during the pain. However, it honestly didn't take much to keep her there. The correct BM position helped her immediately. The next time she had to go, she actually told me she wanted the potty. No more poop in her pants while here.
I still encouraged potty use from May to... whenever I couldn't afford to keep diapering her. Then I used a potty app, she liked it, and was done again. Nights were only re-mastered a couple months ago.
Her other family members didn't try to potty train. She told me her father wouldn't let her into the bathroom to go. I witnessed her parents ignoring her too.
Recently she looked at me afraid, and asked if I was going to hit her for the accident. Yes, it was confirmed today by her mother. She's bad and hit for accidents.
My point, newer people, is that while setbacks are normal, they are more so for her.
Btw, she was dry for 24 hours. I said she was going to see her parents... never fails. That has been a proven way to make her pee all along.

 

[shawluvsbirds]

This is so heart breaking.

 

[Bantambird]

It's just too bad that she is so young to have to go through all of this. Are the parents still hinting on having another baby to make you take care of?

 

[BullChick]

Yeah. They still mention it.

 

[shawluvsbirds]

Yeah. They still mention it.

 

[Cyneswith]

My son is as excited for the chicks to arrive as I am. They just shipped. EEEEEEE!

MC... Either you lose your stuff at those parents a lot more than your posts would suggest, or you are the most patient person I know, by a long shot (I always want to hug you and Duckling after visiting this thread.) Would the parents be receptive to research on how punishing for accidents is counter productive? Are they putting her in public school out of guilt over basically expecting you to raise their kids?

 

[Cyneswith]

My son is as excited for the chicks to arrive as I am. They just shipped. EEEEEEE!

MC... Either you lose your stuff at those parents a lot more than your posts would suggest, or you are the most patient person I know, by a long shot (I always want to hug you and Duckling after visiting this thread.) Would the parents be receptive to research on how punishing for accidents is counter productive? Are they putting her in public school out of guilt over basically expecting you to raise their kids?

 

[Phage]

Rundown for the newest readers.

Not sure how much time duckling is spending with her biological parents, but it does seem to be more than in the past. Is she living with them when she goes to school?

I can totally see the authorities wanting to put duckling in headstart for her own protection from her biological parents as they can keep a closer eye on both the parents and how they are treating duckling.
If you are not ducklings legal guardian, and your access to her is at the whim of the biological parents, the authorities may have to assume that she is at risk,
And not without cause. From what you describe she is at risk when with them.

Maybe the authorities will see what is going on and remove her from their care and formally give you custody. That could be the silver lining.