Cyneswith
Songster
How old is she?
I found time out to be very effective, once the kid realizes that it is not optional.
Of course the first few times can be a challenge, especially if you have a defiant little one - but that sort of behavior has to stop now or she will make the next 20 years torment for you both, and family life miserable. She has to know you are in charge not her.
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She's 2. Time out is effective, unless she is ALREADY kind of isolated to cause her mischief (as was the case yesterday.) Taking away toys is also usually effective. After Christmas (she hits 2 1/2 soon), she'll be subject to the "if you don't take care of your things, they are going to a kid who will" donations. That was highly effective with my son (he didn't break stuff, but he did refuse to clean up.)