Totally unexpected!!

[tabsmonsters]

I got an email on myspace from someone I haven't seen or spoken with in 10 years and I am at a loss on what to say to her.

Bear with me as I relay this, my memory of some details are sketchy. Her and her husband and new baby lived in the trailer behind us back then. She was young, had some issues and I felt bad for her so I helped her out a lot. I was even there for the birth of her daughter. I decided to go home for the summer since my DH was deployed. I knew she was going to be moving (her DH was a Marine with orders) so knew I wouldn't see her when I got back to my house and for some reason I let her have access to my house while I was gone. I think it was so she could use the phone to keep in touch with her family but I can't really remember.

I get back from MO and of course they had moved out. I go to checking things out in the house and I noticed that the diamond ring my mom gave me was missing, the $2 bills and half dollars my dad gave me were missing as well. I filed a police report and checked all the local pawn shops to see if I could find the ring and came up with nothing. Then I get the phone bill in the mail. I don't remember the exact amount but it was several hundred dollars and a lot of calls to Texas (their home state).

I didn't get the vibe from her that she would be capable of screwing me like that and I think it was her husband but I have no proof. I slapped myself for being so gullible and trusting and moved on. Then I get an email from her yesterday right out of the blue. The fact that she even remembered my name and searched for me on myspace just blows my mind. I can tell on her myspace page that she no longer has the same husband she had before. I did email her back to let her know she found the right person but I didn't mention the items that had went missing. I am not sure if it would do any good to bring that up now. I am also not sure if I want to have any contact with her. It was so long ago and I only knew her for a short time.

I guess there really is no point to this post. I just needed to get it out of my system I guess.

 

[The Wolf Queen]

I think that you should confront her about it. Dont be all po sounding but bring it up and lightly question her. If her e mails start to sound defensive, rude, or she doesnt respond BINGO!

 

[Tala]

I would definitely discuss it with her, because obviously it's a stumbling block to any friendship you might have with her. Either you air it all out and go from there, or ignore her. I wouldn't try to tiptoe around it cos it is bound to blow up later.

 

[aberfitch]

I had a roommate steal from me once before. It was a lot of money. But i couldn't prove it. One day I ran in to them and they had the nerve to say to me. I like to room with you again, I really liked living with you. I was so ticked but I played it cool and just said OK and walked away.

 

[insiderart]

I agree with Tala, if you do decide to speak to her (even casually), you are going to have to bring up what happened. Get an explanation for it. Either you will be able to understand/forgive her or you won't, but at least she will know why you don't want to be her friend any more.

Also, I truly believe if you don't clear the air you will continue to resent her or be distrustful of her. This is no basis for a friendship, either casual or not. Obviously you are still harboring ill will and resentment from what happened.

If you can't get over it with her, don't put yourself in a position to where you will have to stress over it. Give her the explanation and then remove her from your friends list. Life is too short. Move on.

 

[lengel]

There was a guy who tried to get DH fired a few years ago. The project was canceled and now the other guy can't get work. So he e-mailed last week and said "call me at your earliest convenience". The weird thing is that DH did. Of course the guy wanted a job at DH's company. DH said, truthfully, that they were not hiring.

We decided that it had something to do with closure for both of them. The guy clearly wanted to see if he could still push DH's buttons since DH is a nice person and DH said no. I wonder if it might be similar for this woman. You helped her so much. She had to have known that her ex was this way on some level. Either she wants to put one over on you again or she might be trying to find out if he stole from you as I'm sure he did with others that trusted him or her back then.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with but be very cautious if you do respond. Even if she wasn't in on it, she had to have known something about the theft. She may just be feeling you out to see if you suspected but clearly she wants something from you now even if it's just an emotional response.

 

[tabsmonsters]

Thanks for all your replies!