Two old girls in two months; not urgent, just sad

[cate1124]

Just wanted to post after losing my second 9-year-old in as many months this morning. My barred rock Stella had heart failure (excellent mobile poultry vet heard a murmur) and started to decline noticeably 2 1/2 weeks ago. In consultation with my vet, I tried Clavamox and dexamethasone (which I had on hand), in case it wasn't her heart. No effect. Her appetite greatly diminished and pretty much disappeared in the last week, though she kept approaching food. Likely nauseated. She continued to drink, and though she lost a lot of weight and was weak and wobbly walking, kept wanting to go out briefly with the flock, including yesterday. (She briefly sat in the sun and fanned a wing Saturday, an image that consoles me.) Vet was here yesterday, and agreed she didn't see any pain or distress -- apparently that's not expected with heart failure -- so I chose not to euthanize then. But she was very weak last night and died in the nest box this morning. I am questioning my decision not to euthanize earlier than even yesterday; I may have overweighted the absence of pain and her continuing interest in being with the flock and underweighted the nausea/not eating/weight loss. I didn't want to take from her any life she could still enjoy.

My black Australorp Ginny was euthanized very easily about six weeks ago, after two months of treating cancer symptoms with some success. She waxed and waned, waxed again, benefited from meloxicam and then, almost miraculously, from dex, which completely restored her energy, appetite and well being for several weeks before it quit working. Pain reasserted and putting her down then was a no-brainer. Decisions along the way -- first, not to euthanize but observe and treat, later to euthanize -- were as well-timed as I've ever experienced.

Still, you know.... I think I could have done better by Stella. I had both girls from 2-day-old chicks and it is very hard to see them through the other end of life. My sympathies are with everyone here who loves their hens and who has gone through the difficult process of making end-of-life decisions that we then second-guess. After 20+ years of keeping hens, this is my last flock, and Ginny and Stella my last black Australorp and barred rock. Beautiful animals.

Just needed to recite their last chapters, my regrets and grief.

 

[sourland]

Maintaining those birds in good health for 9 years is a tribute to your husbandry standards. Don't question yourself. You did great by them.

 

[cate1124]

Maintaining those birds in good health for 9 years is a tribute to your husbandry standards. Don't question yourself. You did great by them.

Thanks so much. It really helps to hear that.

I thought briefly Stella might be eggbound when she showed an interest in the nest box (though I don't think she laid even last year). Remote possibility, as I did not feel an egg. But it was a sweet experience giving her calcium citrate/D3, an Epsom salt bath and blow dry, the latter of which she hugely enjoyed, and a first for me. She at least did not die without a spa day. (She probably took to the nest due to the sensation of fluid accumulating in her abdomen.)

 

[LilFinnGirl]

You are a great owner who clearly loves her ladies. Sending hugs. You did right by them. No need to beat yourself up or question “what if?”

They lived a long life full of love, can’t ask for more than that in this imperfect world

 

[cate1124]

You are a great owner who clearly loves her ladies. Sending hugs. You did right by them. No need to beat yourself up or question “what if?”

They lived a long life full of love, can’t ask for more than that in this imperfect world

Thank you. As time passes, it feels better, but it's always hard in the moment, and a certain amount of loss stays ever with you, it seems. As you say, this imperfect world. Thank you for taking the time to do a kindness; you are appreciated!

 

[LilFinnGirl]

Thank you. As time passes, it feels better, but it's always hard in the moment, and a certain amount of loss stays ever with you, it seems. As you say, this imperfect world. Thank you for taking the time to do a kindness; you are appreciated!

I lost a week-old chick earlier this month due to an accident I could have prevented if I had done things differently. It is hard not to dwell in the guilt/doubt.

Hoping as time goes on it will get better, all we can do is love our living birds the best we can in the mean time!

 

[cate1124]

I lost a week-old chick earlier this month due to an accident I could have prevented if I had done things differently. It is hard not to dwell in the guilt/doubt.

Hoping as time goes on it will get better, all we can do is love our living birds the best we can in the mean time!

Amen, Sister! So sorry about your wee one. Even the people who know most at BYC and provide the most conscientious care have had these same experiences. It's part of the terrain.