Unnecessary Wisdom

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Kelfeathers, Feb 11, 2017.

  1. Kelfeathers

    Kelfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 19, 2015
    Marengo, Ohio
    I'm sure we've all had that moment when either a well meaning person or a superior type tells you something that's painfully obvious.

    Here's a gem from my mom -

    Last night we hit a deer. I posted on Facebook, "We hit a deer tonight. She's probably fine except for minor injuries. Then when we got home I built a snowman." I posted it like that specifically because I thought my mom's reaction would be funny. Knowing full well she would ask if I was okay despite my having built a snowman after the fact, I played out the scene to my husband. In sarcastic response to the future question I said, ""No, I was in the ICU for a bit, but when we got home I thought 'why not' and built a snowman at 2am." She obviously asked if I was okay, but the gem was the second part of her post. She said, "Deer can do a lot of damage." I just groaned and shook my head.

    Other gems from her -

    I moved to Chicago at 19 and then to Ohio a few weeks shy of 21 after living on the west coast. In that time my mom has told me every summer and winter that tornadoes are dangerous and Chicago/Ohio winters are cold. She has also informed me that Phoenix, Arizona, where she lived until recently, is hot.

    My MIL is pretty much the same except she constantly micromanages everything. I'm honestly shocked you can go to the bathroom in her house without her leaning against the door telling you how. She had us painting her living room a few summers back. I wasn't in a good mood that day. I was running a fever and hadn't slept well. I was standing quietly behind my husband as she was giving him painting instructions. After the fourth time of telling him to put the primer on first I finally quipped, "Well, it wouldn't work very well if we did it the other way, would it?" Of course I had a moment of horror when I realized what I had said, but she's never told us how to paint since that day. My husband gave me a high five after she walked out of the room.

    My FIL is the type believes someone is less intelligent just because they're a woman and/or not white. A few years back we were cleaning a well. The trench for the water pipes obviously led to the well that he was standing in. He passed up a bucket of muck for my husband, but he had stepped away. When I pointed out I was the only one available to take the bucket he grumbled a bit and then told me not to dump it in the trench. I was tempted to dump it back on his head.

    He also reminds me every summer that I'm very pale and that means I sunburn easily. It's a bit like my hairdresser that constantly points out my hair is very thick and therefore hot in the summer and slow to dry in winter.

    It's a bit off topic, but here's a funny one about my FIL from last year -

    Last summer while building my new chicken coop I wanted to add some structural improvements. My FIL has years of building experience so I asked my husband to see if his dad would check out my changes to the plans before we started cutting. I was quick to add, "Don't tell him they're my ideas or he'll shoot them down right out of the gate." My FIL came out and looked over the partial structure and my husband showed him what I wanted to add. He lit up and was very proud of my "husband's" ideas. My husband waited until he was in the middle of praising him before he said, "Actually, Nicole came up with them." My FIL quickly scurried off after that and I commented, "I didn't know the human face could turn that many shades of red and white."

    Anyone want to share your stories?
    1 person likes this.
  2. drumstick diva

    drumstick diva Still crazy after all these years. Premium Member

    Aug 26, 2009
    Out to pasture
    People never fail to tell me how short I am. But thankfully they forget to add also how wide as well.
  3. Kelfeathers

    Kelfeathers Chillin' With My Peeps

    Aug 19, 2015
    Marengo, Ohio
    I have noticed that when people are short everyone feels the need to inform them of the fact. I did it on accident once. I went to school with a girl of about 4'5" named Felicia. Without registering the implications I gave her the nickname Flea. It was a combination of her name, her bouncy personality and the fact that she always latched onto me when she saw me. Of course, everyone took it as a short joke.
  4. Louise Waffles

    Louise Waffles Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 1, 2017


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