UPDATE: closer to a decision

[ninjapoodles]

She'll be six later this month. She's already had two years of pre-K at a private school, and she's a head taller than any other kid in her class, and very outgoing, so I'm not too concerned about the social aspects of a change.

I think the biggest issue I'm having is emotional. I feel like, by skipping her ahead, I'm "giving away" a year of her childhood. I know that's not entirely rational, and that the calendar is not changing, but it's just the way I feel.

My mother, my MIL, and my sister (a teacher with a Masters in ed.) feel pretty strongly that she should be advanced, as does my husband. I'm just ping-ponging back and forth emotionally about it.

I've emailed the teachers and the director of G&T for the school district, asking for more information about both processes. Maybe it would be better if she could try the new class, and see how she likes it. As someone already said, if she hates it and wants to go back, it's not like she'll have gotten behind in kindergarten during the time she's missed.

Just while I've been stewing over this, my daughter plopped down beside me and said, "Mommy, I wish we could learn some harder things at school. Not TOO hard, but at least MEDIUM hard."

 

[BayCityBabe]

Are you torn because you feel she would be HAPPIER in one class over the other? Are you torn because this move would be a chance for her to "get ahead"? If it is the latter, I would say, "Get over it. There is no such thing." If your kid revels in her interactions with 7 and 8 year olds, then maybe... Don't sacrifice the social for some nebulous academic goal. I am working on a PhD. that will never make me a good living.
I teach freshman level college courses at a community college, many attended by highschool high-achievers. Most are very uptight, very concerned about not fitting in. They tend to do well in class, but not ENJOY class.

 

[ninjapoodles]

Quote:
Yep. She doesn't have ANYTHING to prove, and neither do I. I just want her to be happy and do well.

 

[Mrs MIA]

Have you actually talked to her about it?

If she's advanced socially as well, then I'd be tempted to bump her up. She's still your 6 year old little girl.

 

[redhead83402]

Ninjapoodles ~ wow, what a hard decision! I had this very problem with my 5 kids ~ all of them entered kindergarten knowing how to read, write, & add & subract up to the tens place. They were very ~bored~ with school. However, And this is a big HOWEVER ~

because they were academically advanced, they were able to turn their attentions to social dynamics. This was great for THEM, not for their teachers. My kids ended up being very much the *leaders* in their classes, and not always as positive as it could have been, but never terribly bad, either. They ended up running for offices, being class presidents, and the like. And they had the time to do those things because they didn't have to struggle with academics.

Eventually, however, even these things began to be very shallow pursuits for them, and I decided to homeschool, because they simply did not enjoy their challenges anymore. I don't believe that everything has to be fun, however, children really do learn better if they are having fun. The schools simply could not offer what I could, in a home environment.

If homeschooling simply isn't an option, ( as I noticed that you work, and that can just be very difficult to do with work too) perhaps a private school that can really offer her some options would be good.

I highly reccomend waiting a few years on moving her, however ~ sometimes, kids can accelerate through periods of learning, and then falter at other periods. If she is accelerated in kindergarten, it is only elementary concepts that she is accelerated in. Later on, she may have to try so very much harder to keep up with the older kids, and she may enjoy school a whole lot less as a result.

Anyway, hope this helps some. Some good earnest prayer will make the decision much clearer, I am sure ~ :-D
~Red

 

[ninjapoodles]

Yes--HER opinion (not at all surprisingly) is that she wants to go for it.

It's hard, because if she'd been born just a few weeks earlier, she'd be in first grade anyway.

There's a whole lot more in the "pro" column for letting her advance than there is in the "con" column. The problem is that the big "con" for me is so emotional.

From her point of view, she feels like this is her third year of kindergarten. Which, in a way, it is.

I'm thinking, at this point, that I'm going to ask that we be allowed to observe her in both classroom settings--she is gung-ho to try first grade, and at this point I hate to just say "no," so I'd imagine we'll let her check it out, at least.

ARRRRRRGH. Parenting is HARD.

 

[JessicaGrant]

First off, big hugs! We have a similar situation here, except that Massachusetts has no G&T program and we have a twin thing going with one average-to-smart boy and one extremely smart boy. They are in second grade and Ethan could easily handle the school work in third or even fourth grade. We have decided to leave him where he is for a couple of reasons, his twin-ship not the least of it. Socially, I think it would be hard on both of them, and not the right thing to do.

Also, I skipped a grade (third) and that was hard for me later on, in middle and high school. I think if there were a gifted program he would be much better off, but there isn't. His first grade was a nightmare for us, as he had a very old-fashioned teacher who made the kids do a lot of busy work. It was dreadful. Now he has the opposite...a fresh, excited young teacher who gives very open-ended assignments and lets the kids go as far as they can. This has been great for Ethan because, smart as he is, there are kids in his class who are "better" than he is at some things, and he is learning that reading, logic and number skills really aren't everything.

I have read on a lot of gifted boards and blogs that gifted children need their intellectual peers, not necessarily their age peers, but I think it depends on the child more than anything. There are a couple of other schools in our area, and one is a private school for G&T students. I asked Ethan if he wanted to look into other schools and heard an emphatic "no." So, we are staying put and waiting and seeing. If he continues to have teachers like the one he has now I think everything will work out well.

Hmmm...I realize I have been absolutely no help! But know you aren't alone in this!

 

[mom'sfolly]

My son has consistently been one of the youngest children in his class, he is just on the good side of the cut off. For me it was a choice to hold him or to send him. I chose to send him....but every child is different. Before I did it I talked to alot of people who had done it both ways.

My BILs kids, now in college, were all near the cut off and went to school when they were 6. They were bright, and talented. My SIL said you really saw the differences in middle school, when the storms of adolesence hit. These kids were not the first in their classes to drive, and they were more mature than other kids in their grade level. All three of them went off to college, at 18, with tens of thousands of dollars in scholarships.

My FIL hated being the youngest in his class and having skipped a grade. He also left home when he was barely 17. I think that influenced my BIL.

My sister and brother have Sept and Oct birthdays, and started kindergarten at four. My sister said she like being one of the youngest of her friends, she never got stuck driving!! My brother is a successful adult also.

I think the things you need to keep in mind are:

A child who is socially advanced for a barely 6-year-old in a class of six and seven-year olds, may not be a socially advanced barely 13-year-old.
Academic enhancement programs through the schools only go so far.
A talented teacher can take your child far above grade level, where a bad teacher....
There are a number of programs that will let your child learn at her own speed outside the classroom, Kumon comes to mind.
Is a 17 year old going to be ready to leave home?
What is your school districts policy for working ahead of grade level in High School? Here if you are not in TAG, you cannot take certain classes higher than grade level.
Will your child be able to participate is sports (very important for some parents) when she are a year younger than her classmates.
Will she be unhappy if left at her current level? Will advancing make here happier?

This is not just about the kindergarten/first grade year. Its about a whole academic career. Only you can make the choice. The trick is not to second guess and worry yourself to death about making the wrong choice. After struggling with behavior issues with kinder, I did alot of this. Now in second, its easier.

Moms to be....plan your babies for February and March so you don't have to deal with this. Nick, the older one has a Feb birthday, and is comfortably middle of the pack.

 

[BayCityBabe]

Quote:
Now THAT would actually make me consider moving her.

 

[peapickinchicks]

My nephew was offered the same opportunity as well, my sister declined but did allow him when he reached middle school to go to a school specifically for gifted and advanced children. My nephew loved it, only compliant was he didn't like all the extra homework ( reguardless of intelligence kids still like to be kids). My boss as well was always gifted offered same opportunity, says he is glad he didn't do it, because of social reasons, but he did have gifted and advanced classes. Hope that helps.